Weekly insights into our crazy world.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011



Throughout history, there has been a huge problem with royalty. The simple question is: Are some people really just better than the rest of us? Does their 'royal blood' actually make them superior to the common man? If you were to ask THOMAS JEFFERSON, he'll tell you that "All Men Are Created Equal" and then he'd go off on what a jerk KING GEORGE III is. But, if you were to ask KING LOUIS XIV about the subject, he'd chop off your head quicker than you could say "Sacre Bleu."

So as we approach the first big ROYAL WEDDING of the new millennium, the same question inevitably arises: Are members of the current House of Windsor really all that different than you and me? We'll let's see...sometimes the British Royalty really do pull it off. Like when QUEEN ELIZABETH addresses Parliament. She's got her royal escort of immaculately dressed Beefeater guards who proudly pound ceremonial the royal staffs to proclaim 'her highness has arrived.' But other times, some members of Windsor have an uncanny ability to act just like the kids on JERSEY SHORE. I think you all know who I'm talking about. Let's have a big round of applause for PRINCE ANDREW!

Just when you think the ROYAL FAMILY has it all together with a lavish wedding with two gorgeous people, along comes that crazy uncle to screw everything up. You know...the relative no one wanted to invite but you have to as a family obligation. That's poor Andrew. He's always been getting in trouble, especially with the ladies. As a lad, 'Randy Andy' garnered a reputation for his brash actions with the fairer sex. Later, his infidelity and insensitivity was largely to blame for the dreary divorce to SARAH FERGUSON. So it comes as no surprise when Andrew was recently photographed in a Florida nightclub with his arm around the waist of a teenage prostitute who is in the center of a ugly international sex trial.

So...okay...maybe PRINCE ANDREW doesn't have the best of luck/taste in women. That's his prerogative. (So we here at the DUNER BLOG will let him slide on that one.) But what has recently got the London tabloids angry is his duties as the Special U.K. Trade Representative. What exactly this position entails is any one's guess, but Andrew interpreted it to mean that he could gallivant all over the world with anyone he pleases with the British taxpayer paying. Not a bad job!

All would have been fine and dandy for Andy...until the unrest in the Middle East. See, the prince is close friends with SEIF GADDAFI, Moammar's oldest son. Seems the two have a lot in common: They both love to spend other people's money on themselves. As more and more details emerge, the greater the disdain for the Prince. Last week, a member of the House of Commons, CHRIS BRYANT, asked Parliament: "Isn't it time we dispensed of the Duke of York's services?" Naturally, Buckingham Palace has defended Andrew. In a statement, they claimed these relations fall "under the mandate of his post."

It's only FIFTY MORE DAYS until the Wedding...Let's hope Andy can stay out of the headlines!

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