Friday, September 22, 2017
Last month, the American restaurant chain Denny's launched a new ad campaign. Designed to promote the ever-popular 'Grand Slam Breakfast,' the pitch centers around a new cartoon mascot: The un-creatively named 'Sausage.' Since the marketing blitz began, Sausage has been bombarded on social media. He's been called a 'terd in a fedora' and many are questioning what ad agency could blunder so badly. While we here at the DUNER BLOG agree that Sausage is indeed a failure, he's not nearly as bad as past fast-food mascots in the past. Here's our TOP FIVE:
#4. Taco Bell Chihuahua. During the nasty 'Burger Wars' of the 1990's...when McDonald's and Burger King viciously attacked each other...Taco Bell took another marketing approach. Meet Gidget, a six-pound Chihuahua. What began as regional ads in New England quickly spread to a national
#3. Quizno's Rats. The most baffling entry on the list comes courtesy of the submarine sandwich chain Quizno's. While most people associate rats with dirt, grime and disease, one ad firm saw the rodents as cute, cuddle and wacky. In oddly filmed commercials, the rats would appear and speak in strange rodent
#2. The Noid. For decades, Domino's guaranteed pizzas would be delivered in thirty minutes or less. To promote this, a series of commercials were released with a new character. The spotscentered around a rabbit-eared loony dressed in a tight red leotard. The large 'N' on his chest stood for Noid. Filmed in Claymation, the bumbling bandit tries to thwart delivery attempts. The main idea is to 'Avoid the Noid' and get your pizza on time. After numerous reckless incidents involving
#1. The King. On Halloween, the worst costume is the simple plastic mask. Only the eyes move and the mouth is stuck in a permanent, creepy and fake smile. Nonetheless, the folks at Burger King continue to frighten children and adults alike with relentless spots on TV featuring "The King." The silent spokesman just sits next to diners at the fast food chain in cringe-worthy encounters. BK gets the top spot on this dubious list because he is the only mascot still on air. Enough already!!
Thursday, September 14, 2017
The 178-acre University of California campus in Berkeley is full of wonders. There's the 307-foot tall Campanile, a near replica of the bell tower in Venice, Italy. (only two feet shorter). That's still good enough to be the third-tallest worldwide. With twelve million books, the Doe Library is the sixth largest in the nation. Sproul Plaza is still home to protests, but it's most fondly remembered for the Free Speech Movement in 1964. All of these sites are connected by forests of Redwood, Aspen and Oak trees. Surprisingly, this is where today's news item comes from!
Here's the nitty-gritty of the two-year study. Students placed groups of nuts in random places in the forests. They contained pecans, almonds, hazelnuts, walnuts...sixteen different types. It didn't take long for the squirrels to scuttle down from the trees to snatch them up. Then, using GPS trackers, the researchers identified 45 separate squirrel. Next, they followed them to their tree homes and observed something fascinating. Squirrels organize their homes much like humans do: Each type of nut was placed together in an orderly fashion. Even when they mixed up the nuts, the squirrels would re-arrange them in the correct order.
Friday, September 8, 2017
Last week, the rogue state of North Korea conducted their sixth successful nuclear detonation. For a nation with a population of 25 million, this country has a lot of weapons. Their army has a million troops. This makes it the fourth largest on earth...with more soldiers than Russia! The People's Army of Korea is well armed too. They've got five thousand rockets launchers, four thousand tanks and two thousand armored vehicles. Let's face it, this nation is armed to the teeth!
Yet nothing in this arsenal can compare to North Korea's most valuable weapon of all: a 74 year-old lady named Ri Chun Hee. For decades, she been the anchor on the nation's only news channel, KCTV. She often wears a colorful Choson-ot (a traditional dress) and is nicknamed the "Pink Lady." Although retired four years ago, she returns to the airwaves to report on big events...like last week's BIG test. Beaming with joy, Hee proclaimed it was a "perfect success" and a "meaningful step toward completing our nuclear program." You don't need to speak Korean to see her genuine pride and admiration as she reports horrific news.
You might think we're exaggerating here at the DUNER BLOG, but let's face it: Every powerful evil regime has a polished spokesperson who can convince the population their actions are benevolent and true. Germans were brainwashed into Nazi thought by the powerful oration of Joseph Goebbels. The Soviet Union employed Sergey Lapin, who famously turned Olympic athletes into national heroes. And don't forget Iraq's Tariq Aziz, the urbane newsman who daftly declared Baghdad had not fallen to the US troops...minutes before they entered the television studio.
Saturday, September 2, 2017
Every year, the Economist magazine list their index of the most 'livable' cities worldwide. They employ a complex formula to determine this seemingly arbitrary ranking. It involves criteria like climate, crime, culture, education, transportation and healthcare. Scores fell across the USA, due to "unrest, racial violence and demonstrations," with Honolulu as the top scoring city. Let's look at the top three:
#1. Melbourne, Australia. For the seventh straight year, this southern Australian city has topped the list. Sports fans know Melbourne from the Australian Open, the first stop on tennis' Grand Slam. It also hosted the 1956 Olympics. The seaside city also scored high on transportation. Although the metro population is four million, Melbourne is home to the largest tram network in the world. Since the city sits on the same latitude as the Mediterranean, it has a splendid climate and lots of immigrants from Italy and Greece. They brought with them great food and culture. Add in a practically non-existent crime rate, and you've got the best city on earth.
Finally, let's look at the least livable cities on earth. At dead last in 140th place is Damascus. It's been awhile since the Prophet Mohammad called the city the closest place to heaven on earth. Thanks to four years of horrific urban civil war, this once splendorous oasis is now heaps of rubble. Next up: Baghdad. Same story, different city. Something tells us the residents of both cities would prefer living under a dictator than living in poverty and fear with glorious democracy. Ten years ago, both places were in the middle of the rankings..
Saturday, August 26, 2017
The poor fruitcake. It's America's most lampooned dessert. No, it's not the simple ingredients. You just add candied fruit, diced nuts, a dash of spices to your basic flour cake. Rather, it is fruitcake's impressive shelf-life that is the source of ridicule. Since the fruit is candied and nuts are dry, most fruitcakes last three months...some up to a year...before spoiling. This is where the notoriety starts. Famed talk-show host Johnny Carson often joked that their is actually only one fruitcake in the USA...it just passes from family to family.
You're asking: How long have fruitcakes been around? Forever! Naturally, ancient Romans were the first. They mixed in pomegranate seeds, raisins and pine nuts into their bread. Medieval times saw the addition of honey and dried fruit. But the fruitcake really took off in the 1600's. That's when products from the tropics first came to England. Cones of sweet sugar flooded the European market, giving rise to the horrendous Sugar-Slavery triangular trade. But, let's face it...even today...most people have no idea how delicious foods came to their lands; they just came up with tasty ways to eat them!
Thursday, August 17, 2017
Across the US, people are counting down. The first complete solar eclipse in 99 years is just days away! Throngs of stargazers have besieged Portland, OR and Nashville, TN...the only major cities on the totality passage...places where the entire sun will be blotted out my the moon. Sales of eclipse glasses dominate Amazon.com. Tabloids are warning of swamp creatures, awakened only by a rare astronomical events. Yep, America is celebrating the solar eclipse in every way imaginable.
At first, the Carib people were friendly. They gladly traded food for beads and trinkets. However, after six months, both sides grew angry and began to fight. Although superiorly armed, Columbus' men were weak and weary. It looked like the voyage would end in tragedy...then Columbus had an idea. According to the almanac, a lunar eclipse was coming. He met with the Cacique with a threat. Columbus told the chief that his mighty Christian god would destroy the moon if he did not comply. It worked. Carib workers not only fed the Spaniards, but also helped repair their boat and Columbus returned to Spain, never to sail again.
Saturday, August 12, 2017
Last month, the governor of Augascalientes presided over a special event: The opening of a brand-new Nissan production facility in the capital city. Carlos Lozano de la Torre stood shoulder to shoulder with a handful of representatives from Japan and his full-time Spanish / Japanese translator. The plant is enormous...21 million spare feet of factory will produce 175,000 Nissan Sentras in the first year. They'll accomplish this by never closing the plant. Well...okay...it will be open 23 hours a day, six days a week. Sunday is important in Mexico.
It's not just Nissan that's investing in Mexico. In the neighboring state of Jalisco, Honda recently opened a cavernous facility near Guadalajara. To the north, General Motors runs a plant in Guanajuato. You'll find Chrysler in Toluca and Kia in Monterrey. BMW, Mazda, Mercedes, you name it...they have a factory in Mexico. In terms of dollars, auto manufacturers have invested $22 billion in the last two years alone.
But that's not to say that all cars made in Mexico are shipped to the US. Nope, many are sold in the domestic market. Just ask Volkswagen. Back in 1964, they were the first company to open a factory in Mexico. Their plant in Puebla remains the largest VW plant outside of Germany, employing over 13,000 workers. For decades, their top model was the ubiquitous Beetle. Mexicans fell in love with this car and bought tens of thousands of them. Even today, you'll see tons of bugs on the streets of any Mexican city.