Friday, October 30, 2015
Move over, Bieber! There's a new Justin in town. And...he's the new King of Canada. Meet JUSTIN TRUDEAU, the new Prime Minister. Monday's General Election is over and so is the 10 years of Conservative rule. Our mailbag is full, so let's get started.
Is Justin related to Pierre Trudeau? Mais Oui! Dad was a wildly popular Liberal Prime Minister from 1968 - 1984. As a French-speaking native of Quebec, he oversaw a tumultuous period in Canadian History. He managed to appease the secessionist movement through a series of bilingual changes to the constitution. However, he is best remembered by his love of Pop Culture. He dated Barbra Streisand and Margot Kidder. John Lennon quipped: "If all politicians were like Pierre Trudeau, there would be World Peace." His passing in 2000 inspired Justin's political aspirations.
Is Justin really qualified for the job? That's what the Tories have been claiming. Let's look at his resume. Politically, he has been a member of Parliament representing a Montreal neighborhood for six years. (The same as Obama). Prior to that, he has worked many different jobs. Justin was a High School teacher, a nightclub bouncer, snowboard instructor and bungee jump coach. However, the real problem was the Tory campaign of "Justin: Just Not Ready." The attack ads were demeaning and swung many voters to the Liberal camp.
What are 'Voies Ensoleillées? This French phrase translates as 'Sunny Ways' and became Justin's un-official campaign slogan. It refers to a phrase coined by PM Wilfrid Laurier 100 years ago. He believed in a cohesive Canada where French and English live together in sunlight forever. Justin was smart to invoke Laurier. As the longest serving PM, he is on the main Canadian bank note, the $5. We here at the DUNER BLOG salute Justin and his positive energy. We look forward to a Bieber / Trudeau duet in the near future!
Thursday, October 22, 2015
Two years ago, the DUNER BLOG correctly predicted that the People's Republic of China would overtake the USA as the world's largest carbon-emitting nation on earth. We were correct. However, we are totally surprised to see a new entry at the #2 spot in the year 2015: Indonesia. No...the enormous island nation hasn't industrialized overnight...forest fires are raging out of control. They are spewing more pollution into the atmosphere than the American people do. Sure...the fires will eventually burn out or be extinguished by a tropical storm. Since there is zero chance of American driving less...Or China burning less coal...Indonesia's time as a Top Polluter Nation is short lived. But still worth noting!!
A state of emergency has been in effect for months on the islands of Sumatra and Borneo. In the city on Banjarmasin, air pollution levels reached a staggering 2,300 PSA on the Pollutant Standards Index. This is a new all-time record! More than 140,000 people have been hospitalized for respiratory illness. But it's not just Indonesia that is getting hit. This atomic-like explosion has invaded the entire Southeast Asian atmosphere. In short, people in Singapore and Malaysia haven't seen the sun in three months. Marathons and concerts have been cancelled. Tourism has pummeled: Last week, seven hikers were burned alive.
|Singapore's Ferris Wheel doesn't look like much fun today!|
Thursday, October 15, 2015
There's a war going on in the Middle East!! But...since the USA ain't fighting...it is not getting much coverage on American News Networks. That's why the DUNER BLOG is here! Let's review recent events:
Ukrainian Invasion. Believe it or not, but our discussion starts in the Ukraine. Earlier this year, Russia did a masterful job of annexing the Eastern half of the nation. Here's how they did it: First, clandestine troops quietly crossed the border and staged coups in large cities. When the West found out and asked questions, Putin denied any knowledge of the "rebels and separatists." Then...all of a sudden...Russian tri-color flags began flying all over Crimea. While Putin's Defense Minister is more transparent about their actions in Syria, there is no denying their new found confidence.
Russian Volunteer Forces. While Russia boasts one of the planet's largest standing army, getting actual people to fight in far-off Syria has been challenging. Corruption keeps many able men from going. Others are told they are being transferred to a new base then... Surprise! Your plane just landed in Syria. Finally, meet the guys on the front line: The Volunteer Corps. For $100 a day, you leave your life as a soccer hooligan, receive an AK-47 and then play a real-life video game.
Thursday, October 8, 2015
It's hard to believe that countries are already playing qualifying games for the 2018 World Cup. But, it's true: Preliminary matches began over the weekend. The top teams then receive an invitation to the regional tournaments. And nowhere is the competition more fierce than in Africa. A whopping fifty-three teams vie for only five spots. Do the math: Only 9% of the nations get to advance to the BIG DANCE. This is the smallest percentage for any of the six FIFA Regions.
Nonetheless, the South Sudanese want to show the world they can accomplish one important thing: Making it to the 2018 World Cup in Russia. First, they assembled a team and hired a coach from Korea, Lee Sung-Jea. He's managed to take the young, raw talent of the Lions and turn them into an organized unit. Last month, they won their first-ever competitive game, barely edging Equatorial Guinea 1-0. Atak Lual accounted for the lone goal. Yesterday...after a 24 hour rain delay...South Sudan played their first ever FIFA match and tied Mauritania 1-1. They must win or tie against Djibouti (easy) and Malawi (hard) to advance.
Thursday, October 1, 2015
Pope Francis must be exhausted after his busy tour of the United States and thrilled to be back home in a normal Catholic country like Italy. See, Popes don't like visiting the USA...or as they call it 'The Un-Holy Land.' For the other 51 weeks this year, Francis will be telling the rest of the world reject American sins. He hates our pornography, doesn't care for our angry hip-hop and dislikes our high divorce rates. However, for one week, this is all put in the past and the Pope and the USA are forced to coexist. Let's review some things we learned from His Holiness in six whirlwind days:
Francis Won't Eat With Millionaires. Traditionally, after foreign dignitaries visit Washington DC, they elaborately dine with American politicians afterward. (Remember George HW Bush's infamous upchuck on the Japanese PM during a White House dinner?) Well, there will be no caviar and champagne for Pope Francis. He declined Nancy "Moneybags" Pelosi's luncheon offer and instead went to a Soup Kitchen for the homeless at St. Patrick's. Puzzled Diane "Fat Cat" Feinstein quipped: "I don't get it. I am so good at helping people I've made $75 million doing so."