Weekly insights into our crazy world.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

OCT 15 UPDATES ON THE SYRIAN WAR


OCT 15 UPDATES ON THE SYRIAN WAR

There's a war going on in the Middle East!! But...since the USA ain't fighting...it is not getting much coverage on American News Networks. That's why the DUNER BLOG is here! Let's review recent events:

Ukrainian Invasion. Believe it or not, but our discussion starts in the Ukraine. Earlier this year, Russia did a masterful job of annexing the Eastern half of the nation. Here's how they did it: First, clandestine troops quietly crossed the border and staged coups in large cities. When the West found out and asked questions, Putin denied any knowledge of the "rebels and separatists." Then...all of a sudden...Russian tri-color flags began flying all over Crimea. While Putin's Defense Minister is more transparent about their actions in Syria, there is no denying their new found confidence.

ISIS: Russian Enemy #1. Unlike the Ukraine, the foe in the Syrian War is truly evil. For the last two years, barbarians, posing as humans, have committed unspeakable atrocities. Beheading children, sexual slavery, roasting Roman ruins...the list of ISIS Crimes Against Humanity is horrendously long. While the rest of the world has sat around and watched, Putin is the only world leader to stand up and commit ground forces. Another Middle Eastern conflict is poison for a US President but an easy call for a Russian Czar.

Russian Volunteer Forces. While Russia boasts one of the planet's largest standing army, getting actual people to fight in far-off Syria has been challenging. Corruption keeps many able men from going. Others are told they are being transferred to a new base then... Surprise! Your plane just landed in Syria. Finally, meet the guys on the front line: The Volunteer Corps. For $100 a day, you leave your life as a soccer hooligan, receive an AK-47 and then play a real-life video game.

Terror Toyotas. The Russian army may be insane, but they've got a insidious counterpart to fight in this conflict. ISIS launches quick and deadly strikes using an ingenious military devise: A Toyota Pickup Truck. In fact, it seems most Mideast terrorist groups prefer the Hilux model. Although the Japanese car maker insists it doesn't knowingly sell to any banned organizations, we would like to remind you of a quote from a former spokesperson: "It shows the Taliban are looking for the same qualities as any truck buyer: Durability and Reliability."

Syria's Future. We here at the DUNER BLOG applaud Russia for their participation in the Syrian War and salute their goal of demolishing the dreaded ISIS Nation. Obama likes the idea of another international power policing the Mideast and sparing him the political alienation of sponsoring another invasion. However, everyone is leery of the new alliance of Putin and Syrian Dictator Assad al-Bashir. Of the 250,000 civilians killed in the conflict so far, 90% have been killed by him and not ISIS. After the war, al-Bashir will continue his family's 50 year vice-grip on a once prosperous nation.

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