Weekly insights into our crazy world.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013



Tomorrow morning, when the banks open in Cyprus, there is going to be furious anger.  When customers access their accounts, they will notice their balances are smaller.  For the first time ever, a government has decided to solve financial problems by taking money from private citizens without their consent.  Why has Cyprus gone crazy?  C'mon, you know why!  To advert another financial crisis, that's why.   Simply put, the only money left on the Mediterranean island is cash in people's saving accounts.  Tomorrow morning, government officials are going into people's savings accounts and will remove funds.  This is soooo confusing.  My parents always told me:  Be smart and safe.  Put your money in a bank!

Alright..let's look at the specifics of the first ever Bank Bail-In.  It all starts with Angela Merkel, the Supreme Financial Commander of Europe.  She determined the exact amount of cash Cyprus needs to find to avoid bankruptcy: €10 billion.  The reach this sum, government officials divided this figure by the total amount in all saving accounts and came up with the following figures:  Accounts with a balance over €100,000 will have 9.9% of their cash seized.  People with smaller balances than this will have 6.75% taken.  This will instantly be injected back into the same banks to keep them from going bankrupt.

So you're asking yourself...why doesn't everyone in Cyprus simply withdrawl all their money before the government steals it?  Duh!  The government already thought about that.  For the last ten days, all banks, branches and ATMs have been shut down.  In addition, it is impossible to transfer or wire any money off the island.   Your next question:  Won't the people start burning buildings down when the government steals their money tomorrow?   Let's hope not.  However, to insure riots don't erupt tomorrow, extra police have been dispatched in all major cities.

However...believe it or not...the Cyprus government isn't overly concerned about anarchy engulfing the island.   Why?  Because the majority of the money in Cypriot Banks does not belong to Cypriot citizens.  Nope, it's estimated about 70% of the money deposited in Nicosia banks is actually  Rubles from Russian and Ukrainian oligarchs.  Wealthy gangsters love off-shore banks for their lack of questions and friendly service.  Naturally, Angela Merkel knows this and is thus able to justify her unthinkable actions.  According to The Merk, if you deposited money in an obviously unsafe bank, it's time for you to be punished for being naive!

In summary, people worldwide will snicker at these silly events on a remote and forgotten island and go on with their day.  However, we here at the DUNER BLOG want you to stop and think for a minute.  There is a serious precedent being set tomorrow that cannot be tolerated.  Governments should never be allowed to tapper with private citizen's money.  The fact that the money is from Russian mobsters is immaterial.  Cyprus needs to be stopped before other governments start solving their financial crises the same way.   

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