Weekly insights into our crazy world.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

APRIL 3 NORTH KOREA DECLARES WAR ON EVERYONE

APRIL 3 NORTH KOREA DECLARES WAR ON EVERYONE

Our mission at the DUNER BLOG is keep you informed on "stories you might have missed."  And while no informed world citizen has failed to notice NORTH KOREA's recent antics, there has been sooo many recently, we felt the need to summarize.   Let's check out the People's Republic of North Korea's shenanigans this year so far...

February 12. Underground Nuclear Test.  On this day, an army spokesman proudly announced to a skeptical world that North Korea had successfully completed another nuclear test.  Seconds later, scientists at the USGS conducted research.  They confirmed the occurrence of  a 4.9 earthquake in North Korea on the same date.  The epicenter was only a kilometer below the surface...another piece of evidence that it was likely a bomb.  However, we don't know for sure if it was a nuclear blast or just a bunch of TNT to simulate one.  So far, no traces of radiation have been found in neighboring nations.  However, what makes this test unnerving is that North Korea said it was a miniature devise...one that can me mounted on a missile and sent to the USA or Japan.

February 26.  Dennis Rodman Visits.  When Kim Jong Un became "Dear Leader" back in 2011, only one foreign Head of State agreed to meet him: China's President Hu.  This worldwide disrespect angered the dictator, who desperately needs attention.  He kept asking presidents, prime minsters, dictators and despots...and kept getting rejected.  Finally someone important agreed to visit North Korea!  Unfortunately is was insane basketball star Dennis Rodman.  For three days, the pair watched a hoops tournament, ate caviar and drank champagne.

March 14.  Assasination Attempt.  Last month, the South Korean Secret Service issued a troubling statement.   According to their agents, a violent gun-battle involving Kim Jong Un's motorcade occured on the streets of the capital.  They assumed it is connected to the recent abrupt dismissal of a high military official, Kim Jong Chul.  This enraged his supporters...which is not smart ...especially considering that in North Korea, the army generals are the only ones in the country who have access to firearms.   Naturally, Kim Jung Un denied everything.

March 26. B-2 Bombers Come To Korea.  Every year, the USA and South Korea conduct joint military operations in March.  See...much like sports teams...armies practice to be prepared for the main event.  However, this year's scrimmage was decidedly different.  Just to show Kim Jong Un who is boss, the U.S. Air Force brought along...for the first time ever... their star player: The B-2 Bomber.  The stealth bomber is undetectable to radar and can fly around the world without refueling.

April 2.  Jong Un Declares War.  Infuriated by the US government's overt display of force, Kim Jong Un responded in his favorite manner: Violent Threats.  Specifically, he announced a nuclear attack on Korea, Japan and the USA, the "sworn enemy of the Korean people."  Military expects have softened nerves by reminding us about the many failures of North Korea. For example, their last nuclear rocket crashed unceremoniously into the Sea of Japan.  For the time being, we here at the DUNER BLOG believe the Dear Leader's bark is much worse that his bite.

NOTE: While conducting research for this blog, we came across the Korean Central News Agency's (KCNA) hilarious website. It has great stories like "Man steals yacht.  Sails to North Korea to Live in Paradise."

 http://www.dailynk.com/english/

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