Weekly insights into our crazy world.

Friday, June 30, 2017



Beach lovers beware! So far, there have been 15 shark incidents reported in California this year. This already surpassed last year's total. The worst incident occurred last month in San Diego when 35 year-old Leeanne Erickson waded in knee deep water. Suddenly, a juvenile Great White snatched her leg. Thankfully, helpful surfers quickly reacted and saved her. It's not just Southern California that is awash in shark attacks. A North Carolina woman was also nipped as were British tourists in Majorca. To help our readers who swim, here are five ways to survive a shark attack:

DON'T PLAY DEAD. While this will work great when attacked by a bear or a terrorist, sharks are different. They are primarily scavengers and will eat anything. Heck, they've found car tires, Igloo coolers and life preserving jackets in shark bellies. They are not picky and will swallow first and think never.

KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED. Your instincts will tell you to flee. But even Michael Phelps cannot out swim a shark. Instead, keep looking at the beast and slowly tread water in reverse. If you turn and swim away, you instantly become prey. However, if you act tough, the stupid shark will hesitate instead of instantly killing you.

FIGHT BACK. Surfers are often targeted by sharks. Just ask Mick Fanning. At an event two years ago, TV cameras captured him bonking a Great White on the snout. He then paddled to safety. Countless other people have survived this way. Some claw at the eyes and the gills. Although portrayed as mean and heartless in the movies, some sharks are cry-babies and will swim away. NOTE: Don't 'wind up' before hitting, as this doesn't provide any extra force underwater.

LEAVE JEWELRY ON SHORE. Where do you think the term 'Loan Shark' comes from? Kidding. However, sharks are attracted to sparkly and glittery objects. They resemble fish scales, and sharks will think you are their favorite food. Remember, sharks rarely actually consume humans...people are unusual and just resemble their normal prey.

HIDE FROM THE SHARK. The species has survived since the Jurassic Period because of its amazing jaws...not because of intellect. Fool the shark! Skin divers are told to stay close to the boats. If they see a shark, they should put their backs against the hull and stay still. Sharks are impatient and will simply hunt elsewhere.

Okay. Now that your terrified to ever set foot in the ocean again, let's put this in perspective. Although sharks kill humans often in the movies (Once every five minutes in the Sharknado series), it rarely happens in real life. In fact, the chances are 300 million to one you'll die from a shark attack. However, if you happen to drive your car today (the riskiest activity of all) there is a 8,000 to one chance you'll die. Feel better?

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