Weekly insights into our crazy world.

Friday, May 5, 2017



Buckingham Palace dropped a major announcement yesterday. Prince Philip, Queen Elizabeth's 96-year-old husband, is officially retiring from public engagements. What a relief! For sixty years, this royal put his foot in his mouth all around the world. Let's recap some his worst moments.

On China. Philip seems more racist towards some cultures than others. Aside from Africans, the Chinese are most often the butt of his "jokes." At a World Wildlife banquet, he quipped about the diet of his hosts. "If it has four legs or two wings. If it flies or swims...it doesn't matter. The Cantonese will eat it." In 1986, when meeting British students in Wuhan, he warned them: "If you stay here much longer, you'll be slit-eyed too."

On Africa. Everyone's favorite ambassador has traveled to nearly all of the 52 Commonwealth nations. On a stop in Kenya, Philip was confused that ladies had clean, shaved heads. "You are a woman, aren't you?" he asked after a local woman presented him with a gift. Recently, he met with Nigerian president Obasanjo, who wore an Agbada to the occasion. "You look like you're ready for bed." exclaimed the prince.

On Island Nations. The Commonwealth is packed full of island states, who often host Royal visits. During a stop in the Cayman Islands in 1994, he needed clarification on the ethnicity of the lighter-skinned residents. "Aren't you all descended from pirates?" he asked. When meeting Aborigines in Papua New Guinea, Philip asked if the residents "still throw spears at each other."

On Women's Rights. The Prince doesn't just insult foreigners, he has some great positions on issues at home as well. "I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they do the same thing." Not very forward thinking, your highness. Philip does believe in chivalry...to a point. "When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife."

On Children. Kids around the U.K. must be rejoicing that Philip won't be visiting their schools anymore. When a 12-year old said he'd like to travel in space someday, he replied; "You're too fat to be an astronaut." After hearing the Edinburgh Children's Band: "You were playing instruments? No, you all have tape recorders under your seats." He also told a group of girls wearing matching burgundy dresses: "You all look like Dracula's daughters!"

However, not all of Philip's comments are offensive. Sometimes, the Prince can be downright funny. When meeting Malala Yousafzai, who was shot by the Taliban for being a female student, he told the teen: "In England, the reason children go to school is because their parents don't want them in the house." The Nobel Prize winner giggled. After a thousand inappropriate comments, he finally got one right! Sigh. We here at the DUNER BLOG can't wait for a new generation of British royalty headed by Wills, Harry, Kate and PIPPA!!!

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