Weekly insights into our crazy world.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017



There's nothing DUNER BLOG loves better than a Royal Wedding! Although Pippa isn't technically a member of the House of Windsor, lots of royals showed up...so that's close enough! Anyhow, after countless interviews from 'close sources,' we've complied some highlights from the momentous occasion.

ROYAL ATTENDEES. While the Queen, Prince Philip, Charles & Camilla did not attend the nuptials in Berkshire, plenty of younger royals did. Front and center was Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge, who served as the Maid of Honour. Her hubby, Prince William was helping out with their two toddlers. See, Princess Charlotte and Prince George were the flower girl and pageboy. Also in the bridal party was Princess Eugenie and Countess Philippa Hoyas.

THE DRESS. Pippa shone brightly in a stunning white lace gown with dramatic cap-sleeves. Made by famed designer Giles Deacon, it cost around £40,000...what a bargain! Meanwhile, fashion critics have been quick to sour on the choice of her sister. Kate wore an Alexander McQueen ensemble that clearly underwhelmed. Described as drab and unimaginative, it was unlike her usual fashion savvy. We here at the DUNER BLOG know why she said yes to this dress. As a bride, she was overshadowed by Pippa at her own wedding. A true royal doesn't get even, but instead plays it forward.

THE UNWANTED GUEST. For the last year, Prince Harry has been dating C-List American actress Meghan Markle. Speculation about her attending the wedding has been swirling around tabloids for months. However, since the two are NOT married, this would be a clear violation of Pippa's rule for attending the ceremony: No Ring, No Bring. So after the ceremony, Prince Harry drove to Kensington Palace, picked Meghan up, and then drove fifty miles back to the reception....where Pippa does allow girlfriends. Apparently, Meghan wore a black dress, but we cannot verify this report.

THE AWKWARD TOAST. Weddings are tough. You can spend a million dollars. You can invest a thousand hours. But you cannot control the weather (it rained), nor can you control what the Best Man will say in his speech. Justin Johannsen began his toast by comparing Pippa to a dog "they both come on command.." Cringeworthy jokes continued about where he kept the ring, but he finished strong. "You warm the hearts of everyone who knows you" he told Pippa. "And you have won the heart of the best man I know." Awww!

THE GROOM. James Matthews is an London investment banker. The financier comes from a wealthy family (No surprise) and he stands to inherit half of Scotland upon his father's death. James loves to play polo and holiday in the South of France. While he seems right for the job, we just wish Pippa had considered marrying a successful blogger instead!

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