Weekly insights into our crazy world.

Thursday, March 24, 2016



As everyone knows, the United Nations has repeatedly banned the import of luxury items into the horrific nation of North Korea. The plan is the punish the elite 1% of the population who rule the impoverished nation by denying them champagne and caviar. Yet...somehow...Kim Jung Un always manages to skirt around international sanctions. To add salt to our wounds, the dictator then takes pleasure in flaunting it to the rest of the world. Case in point: The opening of the Masik Pass Ski Resort just outside Pyongyang. Reports indicate the U.N. Luxury Ban is not being adhered to. Let's examine the photographic evidence.

Closer examination reveals North Koreans outfitted in some top gear before they hit the slopes. Somehow, they wear North Face ski jackets from California, Nordica ski boots made in Italy and Rossingnol skis handcrafted in France. After skiing, Kim Jung and his buddies like to guzzle Heineken beer and snack on Belgian chocolates. Hmmm.. It doesn't appear the United Nations is on top of the situation. US Spokesperson Mark Toner agrees: "We have eyes on how he spends his money, what merchandise he can acquire." But in today's world of online commerce, basically anyone can buy anything anywhere.

Indeed, when it comes to constructing Masik Pass, it is clear the dictator has some outside help. In fact, Beijing acknowledges supplying ski lift machinery. A spokesman clarified the action. "We take the view that skiing is a popular sport for the people." Likewise, a Swiss company oversaw the installation of the Austrian Doppelmeyr gondolas. Unfortunately, the UN clearly stated that "recreational sports equipment" counts as a luxury item. Clearly, a Polaris RMK 155 snowmobile from Minnesota would fall under this umbrella.

To his credit, Kim Jung has only officially released photos of smiling children at Masik Pass Ski Resort. Schools across the country are chosen at random for awesome field trips. Likewise, rates for common people are available. Unfortunately...as much as we would like to believe his benevolent rhetoric...critics remind us otherwise. Little Kim Jung grew up in Switzerland where he loved to ski. It's clear that his ultimate dream is to have North Korean athletes compete at the next Winter Olympics...held just over the border in Pyeongchang, South Korea in 2018.

In summary, the United Nations has become toothless when it comes to Korea. There has never been any North Korean signatures on any of the 1953 mandates after the Korean War, thus allowing the situation to steadily deteriorate without any direct action. The organization charged with defending the defenseless must take a stronger stance against Kim Jung Un. How can famines kill millions of North Koreans, when Chinese and South Koreans on either side of the border manage to thrive? Egocentric mismanagement of a nation with bountiful natural resources...that's how. George W. Bush was at least right about one thing: This nation's ruler is truly EVIL.

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