Weekly insights into our crazy world.

Tuesday, January 6, 2015



We here at the DUNER BLOG thought we would start 2015 with a light-hearted topic: BOND GIRLS. Specifically, the twenty-fourth installment of the famous spy series will hit theaters November 6th. To drum up publicity, EON STUDIOS announced the name of the gorgeous, sultry actress tabbed to play the female lead...A.K.A....the new BOND GIRL. Imagine our surprise, when Italian hottie Monica Bellucci was announced.

Why the surprise? Because Monica is not a 'Girl.' In fact, she's fifty years old! This surpasses 39 year-old MAUD ADAMS who played Octopussy back in 1983. Never heard of a BONG GIRL? See, in every James Bond movie, secret agent #007 seduces outrageously sexy ladies. It's simple. First, he gives a debonair glance and delivers a corny pick-up line. (NOTE: Don't ever try to use one in real life.. You'll get slapped!) In the next scene, they exit the casino and head to the club. After a quick dance, it's off to James' suite for sexy time.

To learn more, we here at the DUNER BLOG conducted copious research. We watched all 24 movies and determined that Secret Agent #007 romances 4.2 women per movie. Actor ROGER MOORE was the most sexually active, bedding six beauties in A VIEW TO A KILL alone. (NOTE: These included Playboy model Tanya Roberts and singer Grace Jones!) Actor SEAN CONNERY comes in second place on the list with 3.6 babes per movie. Current Bond actor DANIEL CRAIG only averages two chicks. Hey! That's almost monogamy!

Author IAN FLEMING was a self-proclaimed chauvinist, as evidenced by the overtly sexist character names of female characters in the James Bond novels and short stores. Some names are coy and alluring, like Mary Goodnight and Kissy Suzuki. Others are playful and fun: Jenny Flex and Plenty O'Toole. Others are downright graphic and naughty; Pussy Galore and Honey Rider. Unfortunately, the lead female character in the 2015 movie 'Spectre' is named Lucia Sciarra. Yawn.

Which brings us back to our original topic: Monica Bellucci. Fans of foreign film remember her as the passionate Alessia in Remember Me, My Love. Action movie fans know her as the leather-clad, werewolf-slaying Persephone in the Matrix movies. This combination makes Monica a natural for a Bond Girl. As to her age, her casting shows that the target age group for 007 audiences has changed. In the swinging '60's and '70's, suave Secret Agents were teen favorites. However, in the 2000's, Marvel superheroes and Hunger Games archers dominate the coveted kid market. Today, Bond movies are for men in their fifties... so Monica makes complete sense. We look forward to seeing her on the big screen!

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