Weekly insights into our crazy world.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014



Sunday marked the end of baseball's regular season. One of the game's greats, DEREK JETER, lined a solid single to left field for his last and final at-bat. See, the beloved Yankee shortstop is retiring after 20 seasons and 3,465 hits. A fan favorite nationwide, the Minnesota Twins thought it would be nice to honor Derek with a parting gift. So, back in July, they gave him the actual second base used in the stadium. It got TONS of media coverage, so every other team Jeter played against for the rest of the season also gave him parting presents. Here is the complete list:

BALTIMORE ORIOLES: The home of fried seafood, the folks in Maryland proudly presented Derek with an enormous basket of crabs. He ate one, put on a US Navy Captains' hat and waved to the cheering crowd.

BOSTON RED SOX: As the Yankee's hated rival, Boston only gave Derek something to avoid bad press for not following suit. While LL Bean boots are nice, he did much better in other cities.

CHICAGO CUBS: As a National League team that never makes the playoffs, Jeter only played a handful of games in Wrigley Field. Nonetheless, he received the #2 board from the famed scoreboard.

CHICAGO WHITE SOX: While most teams gave a gift that represents their city, the White Sox gave the famed Shortstop a bench made entirely from Major League bats. Different!

CINCINNATI REDS: Since the Reds have two Gold Glove shortstops as well, they gave Derek jerseys from legends Dave Concepcion and Barry Larkin.

CLEVELAND INDIANS: The home of the Rock 'N' Roll Hall of Fame presented Mr. Jeter with a Yankee pinstriped Gibson Les Paul electric guitar.

DETROIT TIGERS: Derek loved Tiger Stadium; he grew up in Michigan. He was particularly pleased to receive two of the folding chairs from the original park.

HOUSTON ASTROS: Jeter loves to golf, so he was all smiles when the General Manager handed him a new set of clubs.

LOS ANGELES ANGELS: This gift was the silliest. A twelve foot-high Hobie Surfboard with the Yankee Pinstripes and logo on the top. Derek doesn't even like to swim!

MILWAUKEE BREWERS: Again, golf. The Brewers gave Derek an over-sized check good for a round at the famed Whistling Straits Golf Course.

NEW YORK METS: The Yankees opponent in the cross-town Subway series, the Mets gave Derek a mosaic using the iconic New York subway tiles.

OAKLAND A'S: Of all the gifts, Derek likely enjoyed the bottle of 2009 Abreu Madrona Ranch Cabernet the most.  He drank it right after the game.

ST. LOUIS CARDINALS: This gift is the most classy. Gold cuff links embossed with Stan "The Man" Musial's number six.

SEATTLE MARINERS: As the site of Jeter's first ever Major League game, the ceremony was a bit more emotional. They gave him the Second Base pad he reached on his first hit.

TEXAS RANGERS: Former President George W. Bush handed him Pinstriped boots and a Cowboys hat to match. He looks much better in a baseball cap.

TORONTO BLUE JAYS: This winter, Derek will be hitting the slopes in the Canadian Rockies. The Blue Jays gave him lift tickets to Banff and a top-notch condo as well.

AND FINALLY: The Duner Blog wishes to thank the KANSAS CITY ROYALS, MILWAUKEE BREWERS and the PITTSBURGH PIRATES for just making donation to Derek Jeter's charity instead of giving him a basket of fried clams...

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