Weekly insights into our crazy world.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014



This just in from Caracas: Venezuela has an acute shortage of brand-name breast implants! Recent sanctions means that US-produced, FDA approved silicone gel bags are no longer available. A panic has spread amongst image conscious CaraqueƱas.  “The women are complaining,” said Ramon Zapata, president of the Society of Plastic Surgeons. “Venezuelan women are very concerned with their self-esteem.”

We conducted research and Venezuela is only Tenth on the list of plastic surgeries/per capita...

10. Venezuela.  So common are breast augmentations in Venezuela, they have become a favorite gift for a girl's QuinceaƱera. (15th birthday celebration). A popular telenovela (soap opera) is called “Sin Tetas, No Hay Paraiso” (No boobs, no paradise). It's based in a plastic surgeon's office. Even the late Hugo Chavez called the nation's obsession "monstrous."

9. France.  No one is surprised to see this nation on the list. These days, France is the place for high end operations. The plastic surgeons here are legendary. Just ask Carla Bruni, Madonna and Cindy Crawford. They all swear by the work of Parisian Doctor Jean-Louis Sebagh.

8. USA.  On the list of total cosmetic operations are performed, America is #1. But, this list is per capita, so it drops to #8. Don't worry, the Yanks will climb up. See...the old notion that plastic surgery is shameful and vain is...like so...yesterday. It's impossible to find a Reality TV star that hasn't had something done!

7. Dominican Republic.  This island getaway has a most liberal policy toward regulation of cosmetic surgeons: None! Hence, numerous unregulated clinics have sprung up, with doctors who freely negotiate prices. What will cost $6000 in New York can be had for as little as $800.

6. Taiwan.  Another island destination for quickie operations, Taiwan also feeds off mainland demand. Lots of wealthy Chinese flock to Taipei for cheap and indiscreet procedures. Mostly, they want Rhinoplasties, or nose-jobs.

5. Italy. The birthplace of plastic surgery! Centuries ago, Gasparo Tagliacozzi first transplanted tissue and performed the first nose job. These days, Italians are more concerned with hiding signs of aging. It's estimated Italian women have the highest Botox rates in the world!

4. Colombia.  South Americans are obsessed with body image. Colombia is the place to go for cheap liposuction. Main cities like Bogota, Medellin and Cartegena all have neighborhoods cluttered with surgeons. People simply shop for the best deals, as there is a plan for every budget!

3. Greece. Despite a floundering economy, demand for cosmetic surgeries continues to rise in Greece. Even in ancient times, human anatomy has had a coveted place in the national psyche, and modern Greeks are no different. NOTE: Greece leads the world in penis enlargements per capita.

2.  Brazil. No nation loves plastic surgery as much as the bikini-worshiping Brazilians. How acceptable is the practice in mainstream society? Well, the government recently made plastic surgeries deductible on your income tax. They feel the additional income will outweigh the losses in tax. NOTE: Brazil leads the world in butt implants per capita.

1. South Korea. Surprise! The largest center for plastic surgery in the world is Seoul. In fact, one in five women here have had work done. The most popular procedure is Blepharoplasty, or double eyelid surgery. People in Japan and Northern China also come here for more Western-looking eyes...thus inflating their per capita stats over #2 Brazil.

Post Script:  We here at the DUNER BLOG love Emma Watson's United Nations speech on feminism. If Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Susan B Anthony and Betty Friedan were alive today, we could only imagine their opinion on boob jobs. This is not what they had in mind a century ago...

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