Weekly insights into our crazy world.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012



Things are getting downright desperate for Syrian President BASHAR AL-BASHIR.  For the last year, he's watched his once-unified nation fall to opposition armies...piece by piece...province by province.  First, his armies were defeated in the Idlib Region.  Then, the strategic city of Aleppo fell to rebel hands.  Today, AL-BASHIR still controls the capital Damascus and the cities Homs and Hama...but even that is being threatened.  Recently, rebel troops established a foothold in the sprawling Eastern Damascus suburbs.  In retaliation, cowardly AL-BASHIR used Syrian fighter planes to drop bombs on his own people.

You might not know that the World's Largest Restaurant is located in the same Eastern Damascus suburbs...just off the airport highway.  Thanks to Bashir's bombs, the doors are closed.  But what an amazing restaurant The Damascus Gate (بوابة دمشق) was!  It opened four years ago to great fanfare.  The owner Muhannad Samman spent $50 million dollars to bring a slice of Las Vegas to the Middle East.  To insure greatness, it was officially awarded the title of "World's Largest Restaurant" by the Guinness Book.  (The Royal Dragon in Bangkok is now in second place: 6,014 to 5,023 seats.)

And...up until a year ago...the Damascus Gate Restaurant was an amazing success.  With a staff of 1,800 Mr. Samman assured there would be "absolutely no compromise on the standard of food or service" despite the eatery's enormous size.  See, the crafty restaurateur has actually six separate cuisines served in different sections in the sprawling 54,000 square meters of floor space.  In addition to Syrian dishes, you can order Arab, Chinese, Indian and Iranian food as well.  (What...no Mexican Burritos?)  To soothe your nerves while dining, Samman has built an indoor waterfall (twenty feet high!) as well as ten fountains and replicas of the plentiful Roman ruins which are found nearby. 

However...since the aerial bombardment began last week...the kitchen is closed.  No more Syrian Lamb Stew with "thick coconut milk, kissed with ginger roots, fine onion and garlic." This must be particularly aggravating for Mr. Samman.  See, he's paid billions of Syrian Pounds to Al-Bashir's government in tax revenue.  And...as everyone knows...a hefty percentage of the sales tax goes directly to the military.  Simply put, this means Mr. Samman is paying to have his own restaurant destroyed by the Syrian army's fighter planes.  That makes no sense!

However...as we all know...BASHAR AL-BASHIR and the Syrian Government stopped making sense years ago.  While other dictators in the region...like Egypt's Mubarak and Tunisia's Ben Ali...peacefully seeded their absolute power during last year's Arab Spring, others leaders are not so nice.  Just like Libya's Gaddafi, Syria's AL-BASHIR would rather have his "motherland" scorched and his people killed before he would ever relinquish power.   The only question now is how far the mad tyrant will continue to destroy his own nation before he has to bomb the Presidential Palace itself.

NOTE: The Free Syria Army has a new flag that will soon be hoisted in world's most beautiful city!!  (The Prophet Mohammed said that about Damascus...not us!)


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. For some reason, the comment accidentally deleted by itself. I was saying about how great Syria was before the war.. Its so beautiful and I'm so heartbroken... I hope it gets better soon :(

    2. you should go and destroy bashar al assad and isis