AUG. 8 SILLY CELEBRITY PRESIDENTIAL ENDORSEMENTS
The US Presidential Election is just two short months away! As you might have guessed, the DUNER BLOG has been approached by representatives from both campaigns desperately seeking our endorsement. Let us make one thing clear: The DUNER BLOG has a policy of not endorsing any candidate in any election. Let's face it: The only thing more useless than an endorsement from us would be an endorsement from a stupid Hollywood Celebrity...So let's get started!
SILLY CELEBS ENDORSING ROMNEY
Donny & Marie Osmond. Okay...this one is a no-brainer. As we all know, the signing, dancing and smiling Osmond Family members were the World's Most Famous Mormons until Mitt came along. According to Donny, the Romney candidacy has Americans "wanting to know more about our faith."
Jenna Jameson. If you're gonna get an endorsement from a Porn Star, it had better be from a hottie...and that's Jenna. She's enshrined in the Adult Video Hall of Fame for her 161 (!) film appearances. But don't worry...she's not voting for Mitt for any specific policy. Vegas-born Jenna reminds us: “When you’re rich, you want a Republican in office."
Gene Simmons. The lead singer of the famed glam-rock band KISS endorsed Romney for the top job. According to Dr. Love: "America is a business and should be run by a businessman." Don't laugh: Gene's estimated net worth is $300 million...not bad for a guy who released an album titled Love Gun.
Kid Rock. If you thought KISS was silly, you should listen to some of Kid Rock's music! Nonetheless, both Kid and Mitt share the shame Michigan roots. In fact, Romney has chosen the Kid Rock song "Born Free" as his official campaign theme. (NOTE: This is not the same song from the 1968 movie.)
Jeff Foxworthy. Although shunned by most pollsters, the Redneck vote is very important and increasing all the time. Romney knows this and met with the Southern comedian to eat "cheesy grits" and say "y'all." Jeff wants us to know that a job as important as the Oval Office needs a person with smarts. Quipped Jeff: "We don't elect presidents on personality. We did that in 2008!"
SILLY CELEBS ENDORSING OBAMA
Hilary Duff. While not as politically influential as other teen pop stars like JUSTIN BEIBER or BRITNEY SPEARS, Obama must be particularly fond of Hilary's endorsement. Why? Because back in 2004, when Hilary Duff was on top of the pop charts, she sang at President Bush's Inauguration Bash. Meaning, she...like...totally changed her mind and now supports a Democrat.
Maurice Sendak. Although currently dead, the children's author donated $500 to the Obama campaign just days before his passing. Where The Wild Things Are is Barack's favorite childhood book, and the author read the book to kids at last year's White House Easter Egg Roll.
Kal Penn. Believe it or not, but losers who hang out at White Castle Burgers all day can vote too! Penn...the Indian/America actor who hilariously plays Kumar the Pot-Head on the screen...is actually very active in Obama's re-election campaign. Kal is an associate director for Public Engagement and has stumped in 26 states so far.
Dana DeArmond. Just because Mitt nailed Jenna's endorsement doesn't mean the Republicans have the Porn Vote. Nope, Obama's stance on Same-Sex marriage guaranteed this industry's support. Whether Barack is ready for actually living an alternative lifestyle was brought up by actress Dana DeArmound. "I have a crush on Barack and on Michelle. I actually think I have romantic feelings for Michelle. I wish they'd take me on a date.”
Eva Longoria. Did you know that (Desperate) Housewives account for 11% of American voters? That's why the sexiest TV cast member is out fundraising for the current President. She's managed to raise $500,000 so far. Which is about what she makes per episode on the TV show.