Weekly insights into our crazy world.

Thursday, May 10, 2012



Sunday's national elections in FRANCE are over and America's best friend has a new president: FRANÇOIS HOLLANDE.  Here are some quick facts: Francois is 58 years old.  His astrological sign is Leo.  His dad was a doctor.  He wears black-rimmed glasses and has a receding hairline.  And...most importantly...he won 51.7% of the vote and ousted spunky NICOLAS SARKOZY out of the top spot.  To help our readers get to know the new guy...here are our TOP FIVE THINGS WE LIKE ABOUT FRANÇOIS HOLLANDE:

#5. His Name. This guy has not one...but two...countries in his name.  His first name is, of course, derived from word FRANCE and translates into FRANCES in English.  His last name has a story: In the 1700's, François' Calvinist ancestors fled the Netherlands to escape religious persecution.  They settled in a remote village in Normandy. They were called "Hollande" by the locals and the name stuck.  NOTE: The family has long since converted to Catholicism.

#4. His Ex-Wife. We first got to know François five years ago when his (then) wife was running for President of France against SARKOZY.  (SEGOLENE ROYAL got 47% of the vote...Wow!)  While we here at the DUNER BLOG don't think French Socialism works well with other free-trade economies...we do love Mademoiselle ROYAL.   We simply adore her winning smile and envy her 'can-do' attitude.  Anyhow...in case you don't read ACTÚSTAR (France's best tabloid)...she split with François back in 2008.

#3. His Car.  While France has long since disposed of all Royal Kings and Divine Emperors, some Napoleonic traditions are hard to part with.  For example, presidents still host foreign dignitaries in the Hall of Mirrors at the Palace of Versailles.  Also, incoming presidents still get a triumphant parade down the Champs Élysées.  However...this year...François shocked the establishment by appearing in a Citroën DS5 Diesel-Hybrid Hatchback.  We did mention he is a Socialist...right?

#2. His Spat With Germany.  The most recent "Save The Euro" debacle resulted in some pretty tough Austerity Measures for the Union...which are highly unpopular in France.  One of François' campaign promises was to nullify the recent European Constitution.  "Nicht so schnell," Angela Merkel announced Monday.  "The documents signed by Sarkozy are still in effect."  We agree with her.  As we say here at the DUNER BLOG: "You don't mess with THE MERKEL!"

#1. His Hot Girlfriend.  The first thought on many a man's mind worldwide when Sarkozy was defeated was: "Does this mean no more pictures of his hot wife...CARLA BRUNI...in the newspaper?" Worry not...dear readers...François' girlfriend is pretty darn fine too!  Her name is VALÉRIE TRIERWEILER and she is a journalist.  Ooh La La!!!

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