Weekly insights into our crazy world.

Friday, January 15, 2016



The Presidential Primaries start in just a couple of weeks! While you will be bombarded with endless stories about the candidates themselves, we here at the DUNER BLOG thought we would cover something just as important: The spouses of these folks. So here is our list of Potential First Ladies. They are ranked by their current Las Vegas odds to win this year's election. We added scores in the two categories that count most for First Ladies: Beauty & Brains.

#7. Mary Pat Christie. 30-1. At the tender age of twenty, Mary met a much thinner Chris Christie. They were both undergraduate students at the University of Delaware. They married two years later. For the next two decades, Mary has remained svelte, working as an investment banked in Manhattan. Meanwhile, her husband grew larger as governor of New Jersey. They captured hearts nationwide when 9/11 struck: Mary was just two blocks from the World Trade and survived the chaos. When she finally managed to cross the Hudson River, her husband was waiting for her on the pier. Awww! Beauty: 1. Brains: 9

#6. Columba Bush. 22-1. The most unlikely lady on this list was born in Leon, Mexico to a middle-class working family. She went to school, attended Catholic Mass and helped her mother with chores. Then...her life changed forever one fateful day in 1970. The sixteen-year-old was at church and happened to meet a visiting English teacher named Jeb. He was instantly smitten and wowed the teenager with his worldly charm. Much to chagrin of the wealthy Bush family, they married in Austin four years later. Columba has remained a loyal and strong mother and wife, but secretly wishes she had never left the traditional life of her native Mexico. Beauty: 2. Brains: 4

#5. Jane Sanders. 12-1. As a Democratic Party volunteer, she worked on Bernie Sanders' first major win: Mayor of Burlington, Vermont. At the victory party, Jane and the Mayor met and have been together ever since. While his political career blossomed, she earned a PhD and has engineered successful social projects, like building schools and hospitals! She even served as President of Burlington College! What makes this relationship extra special is her three step-kids. Bernie says time and time again about how he "considers them to be his own." That's America!  Beauty: 3. Brains: 10.

#4. Heidi Cruz. 10-1. This blond Southern California babe graduated from Claremont McKenna College, where she became active in the school's Republican Club. Whilst working on the 2000 George W. Bush Presidential Campaign, she met her future hubby, Ted Cruz. In addition to having three kids, she worked at Goldman Sachs. Heidi also has a European Business Degree from the University of Brussels! Although Senator Cruz staunchly denied it, his health benefits were paid for by the financial giant as a spouse of an employee.  Beauty: 7.   Brains: 8

#3. Jeanette Rubio. 8-1. Born and raised in Florida, Jeanette attended South Miami High School. At Miami Dade College, she majored in cheer leading. After graduating, she began a stellar career as a Miami Dolphin cheerleader. Her pinnacle occurred in 1995, when the first-ever Dolphin-Gals Swim Suit Calendar was released. Jeanette was Miss August! After marrying former classmate Marco Rubio in 1998, she retired from the Dancing Arts and is a mother of four. Beauty: 9. Brains: 2

#2. Melania Trump. 4-1. The Donald's third wife hails from the tiny Alpine state of Slovenia. At age 18, she moved westward to Milan and launched a successful modeling career. Her Big Break came in 2000, when she was featured in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. This caught the eye of Donald, who instantly signed her to Trump Model Management. When the two wed in 2005, one of the attendees was future foe Hilary Clinton. Beauty: 11. Brains: 2

#1. Bill Clinton. 2-1. Slick Willie is by far the most complex figure on this list. At first, we here at the DUNER BLOG were concerned that he might be uneasy being the First First Man. I mean...there isn't even a title for such a person! But then we remembered just how much Bill Clinton loves living in the White House. All those banquets.. the amazing chefs.. the exotic foreign dignitaries.. But most importantly: Young, sexy interns!! Watch out, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue: Daddy's Home! Beauty: N/A. Brains: Lots

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