Wednesday, June 11, 2014
JUN 11 THAI ARMY ORDERS PEOPLE TO BE HAPPY
Last month, the Thai army staged a coup d'etat and took control of our favorite Southeast Asian nation. It was the twelfth time since 1932 this unfortunate event has occurred in Thailand's history. While disapproved by the West, most foreign governments understood the coup simply had to happen. For the last decade, the nation has been crippled by a cycle of unfair elections, civilian protests and worker strikes. It has paralyzed the once thriving country, with all commerce (including tourism) on a massive downturn.
The solution? The army is mandating that all 66 million Thai citizens BE HAPPY. Specifically, the campaign is called "Return Happiness to the People." The military wants the citizenry to forget about the conflict of the last ten years. So, leave your RED SHIRTS at home. Forget about the picket signs. Instead.. Come to a free concert and eat free food! Why all the sudden generosity? "We're trying to create an atmosphere to gain trust and build confidence," explained Army Spokesman Weerachon Sukondhapatipak. "We just want people to relax."
In fact, the only people who are unhappy in Thailand today are the people who want a return to a civilian government. "It's surreal," explained activist Pavin Chachavalpongpun. "It's ridiculous to believe this will create an environment conducive to reconciliation." He's probably right. Since last year's coup, the army has made vague statements alluding to an upcoming election. But...in the meantime...it continues to round up any anti-government and anti-monarchists leaders and activists.