Weekly insights into our crazy world.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013



Last night, a handful of Americans tuned into the NBC TV Network to watch the MISS USA PAGEANT.  Why only a handful?  It's because beauty pageants aren't as popular as they once were.  In the past, they were a cherished ratings event. From 1960 - 65, the Miss America Pageant was the most watched single event on television.  Men tuned in to ogle at the skimpy swimsuits.  Women liked to see other women speaking eloquently on stage.  And everyone loves to see a coronation.   It all added up to Nielsen Ratings Gold.

However...as gender equality increased in the next decades...many women fell out of favor with beauty pageants.  Today, the stigma has spilled over into the male audience as well.  (Simply put, men in the year 2013 are terrified to say anything about a woman's body.  No matter what...it will be construed as sexist!)  Nonetheless, beauty pageants will always exist.  Why?  Because everyone loves to snicker when someone bumbles their way through the Q&A section.  Here are the TOP SEVEN WORST BEAUTY PAGEANT QUOTES EVER.  We'll start with last night's entry from the glorious state of Utah...

Miss Utah won in 1971.
#7. MISS UTAH, Marissa Powell.
When asked about why the Gender Gap still persists, the 21-year-old replied: "I think we can relate this back to education." she began.  "The men are seen as the leaders of this and so we need to figure out how to create education better so that we can solve this problem." Speaking of education, maybe Miss Powell should re-enroll at BYU.

#6. MISS HAWAIINadine Tanega.
This hula-girl contestant was asked: "Why do you love America?"  Her reply: "We are truly the land of the great. From the rocky shores of… Hawaii…to the beautiful sandy beaches of … Hawaii … America is our home." Sounds like someone needs a trip to the mainland...

#5.  MISS VENEZUELA, Irene Sofia Esser Quintero.
This one is a gem!  Pageant Host: "Miss Venezuela.  Would you rather be smart or beautiful?"  Miss Venezuela: "Umm...  Could you repeat the question?"  Umm... That won't be necessary.  You just answered it.

#4. MISS CALIFORNIA, Leah Cecil.
You shouldn't ask difficult political questions to beauty queen contestants.  Hence, something complex like 'Euthanasia' is definitely off-limits.  Here is Ms. Cecil's reply:   "That’s one of the things I’m not educated on so I need to look up on what that means … but I do know that’s a vaccine.”

#3. MISS IOWA, Jeannie Anderson.
Then again...Beauty Pageant Contestants can mess up any subject.  When asked what she felt was the most important event in American History, Miss Iowa said: " "In my opinion, Pearl Harbor which occurred on December 7, 1941 was because [long pause] because it ended the great depression and forced us into the World War II, and... [long pause]. Thank you, Vegas!"

 #2. MISS CALIFORNIA Carrie Prejean.
The Golden State prides itself for 'Pro-Gay' policies.  So it angered many to find out that their representative believes that marriage should be between a man and a woman. She said it's unfortunate that "we live in a land where you can chose same sex marriage or opposite marriage."  What the hell is an 'opposite marriage' anyhow?

#1.  MISS SOUTH CAROLINA  Caitlin Upton.
Perhaps the most bruising blow to the integrity of Beauty Pageants occurred in the 2007 Miss USA competition.  The subject was America's terrible geography skills.  Specifically, why can't 25% of Americans locate their state on a map?  To which, the 18-year-old gave the most incoherent, rambling, bumbling, long-winded, disjointed and circuitous, reply ever!

"I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as, uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.” 

Well said... Caitlin...Well said.

No comments:

Post a Comment