Weekly insights into our crazy world.

Thursday, September 27, 2012



Every one's favorite insane World Leader MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD stepped up to the podium in New York City for the last time today.  Thankfully, the Islamic Republic of Iran does have term limits for their president.   This means the "Glorious Leader" is at the end of his two-term, eight-year cycle.  The US, UK and Israel were absent and the poorly attended diatribe was brief...a mere twenty minutes.  And, since today is Yom Kippur Ahmadinejad only used the word Zionist a dozen times. 

In a tribute to the 'Terror from Tehran' here are his TOP FIVE ABSURD QUOTES of all time:

#5. "Israel is a cesspool." March 2008.  Having never visited the nation, we turned to Noah Webster for help.  It's hard to believe the entire country is an "underground reservoir for liquid waste," but maybe it was a metaphor (?).  Mahmoud went on to say Israel is "nearing collapse."   Which, taken literally, means all eight million square miles of Israeli territory will soon vanish and become the world's largest exposed toilet.

#4. "The era of Capitalist thinking is over." Sept. 2008.   Four years ago, Ahmadinejad used the U.S. Housing crisis as a opportunity to remind the West of their flawed economic system.  In a rambling, 3,500-word address to the U.N. he offered a better plan.  In Tehran, they are simply waiting for the Shi'ite messiah to arrive.  When he does appear, with one wave of his holy hand, all global financial woes will instantly disappear.

#3.  "In Iran there are no homosexuals." Sept. 2007.  Today's U.N. address began with Mahmoud praising his nation's morality and compassion.  Such lofty goals are much easier to achieve in Iran than in other nations.  Why?  Because everyone who lives in the Islamic Republic is heterosexual, Shi'ite and eternally devoted to the state.

#2. "The Holocaust is a myth to support the Jews." June 2009.  Of all Ahmadinejad's incredulous statements, this one is the most inflammatory.  In response, human rights groups in Germany has extended numerous invitations to the Iranian President, requesting he come to visit Auschwitz and other concentration camps.  He has declined.  When asked to elaborate, he said he is "not anti-Semitic."

#1. "The fatwa issued by Supreme Guide forbids the wearing of ties." July 2010.  Have you ever wondered why Mahmoud always has his shirt unbuttoned?  It's not just to show off his large tuft of chest hair.  Nope, the Ayatollah doesn't like neckties.  And that means that no one else on earth should ever wear one.

From all of us bloggers, pundits and late-night talk show hosts: Thanks for the memories, Ahmadinejad! 

No comments:

Post a Comment