Weekly insights into our crazy world.

Thursday, April 19, 2012



Hopefully, when you first heard of this story, you thought of us here at the DUNER BLOG.  It's true...we live for this kind of scandal!   The shenanigans carried on by the world's finest bodyguards prior to the Summit of the Americas in Cartagena are quite lurid.  We have received tons of letters, texts, tweets all about the sex, the tangled web of lies and wild nights.  Let's get started!

Exactly how many Colombian ladies were involved? -Ron in Anchorage
I'm not sure we can call them ladies, Ron!  Anyhow, initial reports on Sunday stated eleven women had checked into the luxury cabaƱas.  However...as of Tuesday...the number had risen to "at least twenty foreign nationals." It seems Secret Service agents invited friends from other agencies as well.  This included two Navy Explosive Ordinance Disposal technicians, two Marine dog handlers and an Air Force airman.  We'll see who else comes forward.  So...for the time being...we'll call it two dozen hookers, Ron.

Isn't Prostitution legal in Colombia?  -Ted in Oakland
Yes it is.  Colombia has a plethora of problems...particularly when it comes to crime.  Outrageous drug smuggling, crafty counterfeiters, provocative prostitutes...you name it!  To solve this, the government has simply drawn lines in the sand.  Just as the drug cartels have their established territory, the prostitutes have "tolerance zones" where they can legally operate.  So while the agents didn't break any laws with the ladies, the New York Post reminds us that "most of them are married" which is worse than legal trouble. 

How did they get caught?  Pablo in Phnom Penh
In every party, there's always one jerk who ruins everything. It's simple: There are two rules at the exclusive Hotel Caribe regarding visitors. A. Guests must leave identification at the front desk. B. There are no overnight guests allowed. When the morning staff arrived at seven in the morning, it seemed one woman's Colombian Federal Identification Card was still unclaimed at the front desk.  When staff went to the room, they interrupted a violent conflict between a man and woman over money.  It was so bad, local police were called.  Soon everyone else was exposed.

Was President Obama's safety ever compromised? Marc in Paris
Secret Service spokesman EDWIN DONOVAN assures us that "none of the agents involved were directly assigned to protect the president."  While this is good news, more questions do arise: Do we really need to send dozens of agents to a destination a week before the president arrives?  Do agents party like rock stars before other important international summits?  Stay tuned: People like Presidential hopeful MITT ROMNEY want to know the answers.
The hookers cost 83,475 Colombian Pesos each.  Isn't that a lot of money? Uday in Patna
Actually, Uday, this is the most mind boggling part of the whole episode.  One Colombian Peso equals five ten-thousandths of a US cent.  So the whole espisode boils down to someone not wanting to pay a hooker $47.  We don't know what a Secret Services agent's annual salary is, but something tells us this one agent messed up beyond belief.  But let's not blame him...there's something about Cartegena that makes people go crazy.  Check out the photo of Secretary of State HILARY CLINTON.  Someone's getting tipsy!

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