Weekly insights into our crazy world.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011



We here at the DUNER BLOG are dedicated to our slogan: 'Keeping You Informed of Important Stories You Might Have Missed.' So we are particularly proud of this week's subject: Sergio Ramos and the MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT IN SPORTS HISTORY.  It occurred in Madrid last week and received very little coverage in American media.  So...for those you who didn't hear about this ultimate faux-pas....we here at DUNER CORP headquarters will now tell you fine readers the WHOLE STORY!

Few Americans know much about the COPA DEL REY.  Since 1902, Spain's soccer teams have fought valiantly for the honor of owning this large silver trophy for one year.  (In Spanish: El Campeonato de España – La Copa de Su Majestad el Rey de Fútbol.  In English: Championship of Spain – His Majesty the King's Royal Football Cup).  Anyhow, in soccer circles this is really important, as FIFA has Spain currently ranked #1in the world.   Hence, last week's final between ROYAL MADRID and FC BARCELONA trailed only the SUPER BOWL as the most-watched-sporting-event of 2011, with estimated around half a billion people tuning in worldwide.  And...just like the SUPER BOWL...the event is much more than mere sport.  TV networks showed celebs in the stands as much as the players on the field.  We saw an anxious SHAKIRA watch her new boyfriend, Barcelona's hunky striker GERARD PIQUE.   Unfortunately, the pop star was weeping when her team lost, 0-1.  The lone goal was scored by Madrid's CRISTIANO RENALDO, who is perhaps more famous as an Ultimo underwear model than as an athlete.   (Ladies: Sorry for not including his photo!)

But the REAL STORY came the day after the victory in the stadium.  Also...just like in the Super Bowl...the winning team returns home to a raucous reception at the airport, followed by a victory parade down the most famed boulevard in town.  Rowdy fans line the sidewalks around PLAZA DE CIBELES as their heroes wave to them from the top of a Double-Decker bus.  All was going as planned when suddenly disaster struck! Madrid forward SERGIO RAMOS was hoisting the coveted COPA DEL REY trophy high in the air to the delight of the fans.  But...he leaned over the edge of the bus just a little bit too far... then WHAM!  The 35 -Pound silver trophy fell fifteen feet to the asphalt below.  An estimated 60,000 fans watched in horror as the stunned bus driver proceeded to run over it, unable to stop in time.  Spain's most prized possession was mushed into a twisted mess of metal.  Police tried in vain to pry it from the bus's chassis to no avail. Now that's embarrassing!

So what do you do the next day, if you're SERGIO RAMOS?  You wake up the next morning and know the whole world wants an explanation.  At first, Sergio ignored the 'Inbox: Full' display on his cellphone and tried to downplay the event.  He slyly told a reporter: "The cup? She fell...but she is okay.  No problems!"   Sorry...Sergio...the trophy isn't okay. According to MARIA VILLEGAS, a Real Madrid spokesperson: "The cup is not in good shape."  In fact, staff hurried to create a replacement cup to put on display in the Hall of Fame at SANTIAGO BERNABEU Stadium for the droves of people anxiously awaiting to worship it.  (As any true sports fan knows, one must view a trophy with their own eyes for good luck.)  His teammates have called him everything from 'butterfingers' to 'butthead.'  Poor Sergio!

Or perhaps not.  We did leave out one very important fact.  The Victory Parade through the plaza happened at 4:15 in the morning.  No wonder the darn trophy got banged up...those crazy Castilians party all night long!  And it's not like this was the first time the COPA DEL REY trophy has been smashed up.  Heck, the only person who really has a right to be mad is FEDERIRO ALEGE.  He is the jeweler in Madrid who has to fix the trophy.  When asked how he felt about the upcoming work, he replied: "I am not sad or even angry.  These things happen."  Even Sergio himself is now laughing about the incident.  He posted on Twitter that he didn't drop the trophy at all.  Rather it: "jumped out of my hands to be closer to the great fans at the Plaza de Cibeles!'  How's that for damage control?  Maybe after football, Sergio should work for FOX NEWS!  Olé!

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