Weekly insights into our crazy world.

Friday, June 4, 2010


Okay, first things first. The CEO of Duner-Corp, Duner, apologizes PROFUSELY for the recent absence of blogs. Duner-Corp's main technology station experienced something called a "FATAL HARD DRIVE COLLAPSE." Anyhow, we've corrected the problem and are proud to announce resumption of blogs. We would also like to take this opportunity to apologize to anyone who has been offended by White Sox manager OZZIE GUILLEN as well. And now back to the blog...


Well, the I-PHONE isn't exactly mankind's greatest achievement, but it is close. It's the EIGHTH most important invention to be exact. This is according to a very reliable survey released last week in Britain. The company TESCO MOBILE (Yes, they do sell cell-phones) conducted a survey of 4,000 adults aged 18-65 and asked them to rank humankind's best achievements. I turns out we feel the I-PHONE isn't as important as the wheel, airplanes and the light bulb, but way more valuable than a flushing toilet, which came in ninth place. If he were still alive, Thomas Crapper would be livid.

One person is very proud of the results. Lance Batchelor, Chief Executive Officer of Tesco Mobile, is beaming. Mostly because the I-PHONE has sold 42 million units worldwide and his company is one of the UK's largest suppliers. He boldly stated that: "All of the inventions included in this list have changed the world forever." He clearly is a man of vision. After all, can you imagine a world without invention #88, the CHEESE GRATER? And can you imagine how boring life would be without invention #77, the PUSH-UP BRA?

I, for one, don't like using outhouses. Therefore, I would definitely rank the flushing toilet as more important than a cell phone. But I am perhaps in the minority. We all know too many people who would gladly pee on a tree if it meant they could still access their apps, play scrabble, and text around the world. Maybe I'll even get one!

Here's the list of all 100 inventions:
1. Wheel
2. Aeroplane
3. Light bulb
4. Internet
5. PCs
6. Telephone
7. Penicillin
8. iPhone
9. Flushing toilet
10. Combustion engine

11. Contraceptive pill
12. Washing machine
13. Central heating
14. Fridge
15. Painkillers
16. Steam engine
17. Freezer
18. Camera
19. Cars
20. Spectacles

21. Mobile phones
22. Toilet paper
23. Hoover
24. Trains
25. Google
26. Microwave
27. Email
28. The pen
29. Hot water
30. Shoe

31. Compass
32. Ibuprofen
33. Toothbrush
34. Hair straighteners
35. Laptops
36. Knife and fork
37. Scissors
38. Paper
39. Space travel
40. Kettle

41. Calculator
42. Bed
43. Remote control
44. Roof
45. Air conditioning
47. Wi-Fi
48. Cats-eyes
49. Matches
50. Power steering

51. Tumble dryer
52. Bicycle
53. Sky+
54. Tea bags
55. Umbrella
56. iPod
57. Taps
58. Crash helmet
59. Wristwatch
60. eBay

61. DVD player
62. Nappies
63. Ladder
64. Sun tan lotion
65. Lawnmower
66. Make-up
67. Chairs
68. Sunglasses
69. The game of football
70. Sliced bread

71. Sofa
72. Razor blades
73. Screwdriver
74. Motorways
75. Head/ear phones
76. Towels
77. Push-up bra
78. Binoculars
79. WD40
80. Mascara

81. Hair dryer
82. Facebook
83. Escalator
84. Hair dye
85. Wellington boots
86. Spell check
87. Calendars
88. Cheese grater
89. Buses
90. Post-it notes

91. Gloves
92. Satellite dish
93. Pedestrian crossing
94. Baby's dummy
95. Curtains
96. Bottle opener
97. Food blender
98. Dustpan and brush
99. Desks
100. Clothes peg


  1. That list is worthless. Whoever came up with those "important" things obviously didn't have their priorities straight. Butter wasn't listed anywhere!

  2. You're right, Aunt Sara. I really couldn't go a day without BUTTER!

  3. since when is the knife and fork more important than both space travel and air conditioning

  4. I don't know nor want to know what a baby's dummy is.

  5. ....furthermore, I assert that this poll/list is meaningless, since "USC athletic department sanctions" didn't even appear on the list. That is a much better invention than the wheel.