JAN 27 THE ROYAL WEDDING (PART ONE)

JAN 27 THE ROYAL WEDDING (PART ONE)

OH MY GOD!! All of us here at the DUNER BLOG are all a-flutter about 2011's most exciting event: THE ROYAL WEDDING!! The 29th of April 29th is circled on our calendar with big stars and large red arrows!! C'mon, now: Fans of royal weddings (like me!) haven't had much to celebrate in the last couple decades. Since the LADY DI & PRINCE CHARLES wedding back in 1981, and ANDREW & FERGIE in 1992, it's been rough. We've been forced to endure wedding s with lesser nobles tying the knot in simple ceremonies (stupid bad economy). And things haven't been that great outside of the House of Windsor either! In Monaco, all three of Princess Grace Kelly's kids continue to annoy. The Dutch, Norwegian, Swedish and Danish royals are all boring. And don't get me started with that dull Emperor Akihito in Japan! So...I guess what I'm trying to say is...In the next NINETY TWO DAYS, be prepared for a "Wills-Loves-Kate-Blog-Fest." Whoo-hoo!

Part One stats today. Our topic: Wedding Souvenirs. Now, if you were to walk down a major boulevard in London or Glasgow today, you would be astounded by some of the great items available for purchase to commemorate this most glorious occasion. The most popular item is, naturally, china. The windows of Old Durham Road are showcasing a dozen different plates, serving trays, teapots, tea cups with matching saucers...all adorned with adorable pictures of Wills and Kate. Meanwhile, the Crest of London has all of these, plus limited-edition pill-boxes, wedding tankards, champagne flutes, commemorative magnets and a "Teabag Tidy" (whatever the hell that is, I don't know!) Of course you can also buy posters, bumper stickers, flags and buntings...even life-size-wax-replicas of the royal couple.

However, not all folks are happy about the avalanche of kitch surrounding late April's festivities. The BBC, Sky-News and the Daily Mail have all recently published articles decrying the (obvious) source of the souvies. You guessed it: Almost all the china is made in China. Let's go some eight thousand miles east of Buckingham Palace to Yiwu, a suburb of the industrial megalopolis Shenzen. Located there is a factory that is completely dedicated to manufacturing many of these treasures. It is operated by FU XUXIAN, an incredibly successful entrepreneur. These days, he is particularly proud of one item: A stunning replica of the famous wedding ring. With a minor in geo-science, FU studied photos of the original 18-carat Ceylon sapphire surrounded by South African diamonds. He worked around the clock to produce a plastic substitute for the stones and then casted them in a bronze-based setting. They will retail for about $2.99...a price no one in Europe can beat!

Which is precisely what the British Media is fuming about. Why is it that China always rakes it in when someone else has a major event? The Daily Mail bemoans the fact that these same factories will soon be producing the same items for the LONDON 2012 OLYMPIC games next year. Last year, it was savvy Chinese businessmen who scored big by investing in VUVUZELAS (see earlier blog) for the South African World Cup. Even Queen Elizabeth II is getting angry. The palace is considering a lawsuit against a Chinese manufacturer who claims to have "special royal permission" to mass produce commemorative Royal Wedding coffee mugs. When will the madness end?

While Duner will undoubtedly purchase several of the before-mentioned items, he is concerned about the financial message we repeatedly send when we send our hard-earned dollars to Shenzen for mass-produced, tacky items like commemorative Royal Wedding coasters. Even PRESIDENT OBAMA noted this trend during his STATE OF THE UNION address on Tuesday. He warned we were experiencing another "Sputnik Moment," when another nation races past the USA on a technological or financial field. But...if you don't believe me or the president...just ask FU XUXIAN, who is making crazy money right now, unable to keep up with the high demand for Royal Wedding commeratives. Fu says: "As a businessperson, you have to look for opportunities. Then you have to run faster than the competition." Run, Fu, Run.

JAN 21 HOW FACEBOOK OVERTHREW A DICTATOR

JAN 21 HOW FACEBOOK OVERTHREW A DICTATOR

Having recently seen critically acclaimed movie THE SOCIAL NETWORK, I began to wonder: Just how powerful has FACEBOOK become? We all know FACEBOOK can do wonderful things for our lives. It has reconnected me with old high school friends and past roommates from around the world. People I like...but had understandably lost touch with...are now instantly available. But what about FACEBOOK's powerful Dark Side? It starts meaningless affairs, gets good workers fired, expels hardworking students, denies good university applications and...and...well...you get the picture. But in the recent weeks, the all mighty social networking site has achieved the ultimate power: FACEBOOK now has the power to overthrow the government of an ENTIRE NATION! (Wow! Even OPRAH doesn't have that much power!)

Sorry...as usual...I got ahead of myself! Let's start over, shall we? Our story begins in the small Arab nation of Tunisia. Wedged into a corner of northern Africa, poor Tunisia isn't blessed with massive oil reserves like her fortunate neighbor, Libya. So the ten million Tunisians must find other ways to make a living. Mostly, they produce things that nearby Europe can't and ship them a short distance across the Mediterranean. Hence, Tunisia has lots of orange groves (can't grow them in Berlin), small factories (cheaper labor) and, recently, tourism (great coastline!). However, with the economic downturn hitting Europe's Mediterranean nations particularly bad (See PIGS blog), frustrated little Tunisia's once lucrative industries are vanishing. Europeans simply aren't eating as many oranges, buying any flip-flop sandals and certainly not taking expensive beach vacations.

These tough times have hit the Tunisian middle class especially hard. Many educated people have been laid off and forced to take more menial jobs. MOHAMED BOUAZIZI (nickname: Bashoosa) is a great example. Forced to deal with 30% unemployment, the resident of the town of Sidi Bouzid has sold produce since age 10 to help feed the family. Yet he always aspired for more. He applied to the Tunisian army, but was turned down. He got accepted to university, but couldn't afford tuition. He couldn't even land a custodial job. Frustrated, but not deterred, Mohamed pragmatically decided to expand his produce stand. He bought a bigger cart and saved his dinars in hopes of someday purchasing a van.

However, according to local officials, Mohamed did not have the proper permits for a larger stand. (Read: Mohamed had not recently paid off any local officials.) On December 17, officer FEYDA HAMDI approached the Bouazizi produce cart and: "slapped him in the face, spat on him, confiscated his electronic weighing scales, destroyed his fruit and vegetable stands, all while her two colleagues assisted her in beating him." Oh yeah, Hamdi also hurled repeated insults about Bouazizi's deceased father during the assault. Injured, broke, crushed in spirit and humiliated in front of his entire village by a female cop, the man whose spirit couldn't be broken, gave up. A mere hour after the incident, Bouazizi doused himself in gasoline and lit a match.

Before the invention of FACEBOOK, we never would have heard about Bouazizi's sad, sad tale. But, since the Tunisian dictator ZINE EL ABIDINE BEN ALI didn't ban the powerful site, it was only a matter of days before the entire nation was informed and obsessed with the tragic life of Bouazizi. Bloggers hastily arranged marches which soon erupted into massive protests and strikes. Blindsided by the sudden wave of dissent, President Ben Ali rushed to the hospital. The state-controlled media flooded TV broadcasts and newspapers with images of the president at the bedside of the fruit vendor. But, alas, it was too little too late...and no match for mighty FACEBOOK. Within a month, the entire nation was bitterly against him. After more than thirty (mostly successful) years in power, Ben Ali boarded a private jet and fled in exile to Malta...not really knowing what had happened.

So...the next time you decide to do a little "harmless lurking" on the infamous social network site...remember: FACEBOOK has more power than you know! Just ask the FORMER president of Tunisia!

JAN 14 HERO WINS COVETED MEDAL OF HONOR

JAN 14 HERO WINS MEDAL OF HONOR

It's a NEW YEAR and that can only mean one thing: It's AWARDS SEASON! And no one gives out more meaningless awards than the Americans. Make no mistake: It's good to be a current American movie star/pro athlete/reality TV celebrity. Not ONLY are you an instant multi-millionaire, BUT you also spend the next ten weekends getting worshipped at galas and banquets across the country. For example, if you're JULIA ROBERTS you'll be at the SAG (Screen Actors Guild) Awards and People's Choice this month. February is the Golden Globes, MTV Movie and BRIT awards. March brings the only legitimate one, The Oscars. If you're a talented musician like LADY GAGA, you'll soon be scooping up Grammys, Billboard's annual achievement awards, Nickolodeon Teen Choice statues and being photographed next to huge, gaudily framed gold records. Heck, even though PEYTON MANNING got knocked out of the NFL Playoffs, he'll still dominate the ESPYS next month!

Which thankfully brings me to my point. With so many awards out there, their individual magnitude is being diluted. Do you really think SANDRA BULLOCK keeps her Best Actress Oscar statue for The Blind Side on the same shelf as her MTV popcorn trophy for 'Best Kiss' in While You Were Sleeping? No way! BUT...there is still one award out there that will never be tarnished: THE MEDAL OF HONOR! Don't be fooled by the simple name...this is one special award. It's the USA's highest military honor. It's only given to one who "conspicuously by gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his or her life above and beyond the call of duty while engaged in an action against an enemy of the United States." In other words, you can't get this medal by performing a particularly passionate on-screen smooch with Matthew McConnahay!

But the MEDAL OF HONOR never gets the same treatment in the media. It's easier to find the Pepsi Spirit Awards on TV than any official military ceremony. Too bad, because this is one amazing award. First of all, recipients can only be nominated by a commanding officer or by a Congressional motion. Only the serving President can bestow the order in a ceremony regulated by tight protocol which dates back to the first MEDAL OF HONOR, which was issued by ABRAHAM LINCOLN. Abe wanted something more important to truly honor brave Union soldiers who had served heroically to save our great nation. Since then, it is only been given to a select few at any random time. How select? We've sent over 100,000 soldiers to Afghanistan over the last eight years, but only four have received the medal.

Which thankfully brings me to the most recent (and the only living Afghan war vet) to recieve the medal: SALAVADORE GUINTA. He hails from Hiawatha, Iowa and here is his fantastic story: There was a full moon on Oct. 25th, 2007 that shined down in the barren Korengal Valley in Central Afghanistan. Salvadore and his crew quietly patrolled the small villages. Suddenly, from the darkness came a thud. Al-Qaida troops had ambushed Guinta's platoon! Heavy gunfire rained down from all directions on the unsuspecting soldiers, riddling the legs of Sgt. Erick Gallardo. Guinta, the team leader, flew into action. In the distance, he saw two insurgents hurriedly dragging the sergeant's body away. Gallantly, he raced after his friend and into the barrage of enemy fire. Bullets from an AK-47 richoceted off his helmet, others would be embedded onto the rifle on his back. Determined, he finally reached his friend. Guinta drew his weapon and opened fire on the stunned al-Qaida soldiers, killing one instantly. The other fled in panic. Guinta grabbed Gallardo by the vest and dragged him to safety. (See? This guy is a real-life Rambo!)

So as you sit down this month to watch WILL SMITH get slimed with green goo on the Nickeleon Teen Choice Award show, take a minute to think about Salvatore and what America really stands for. Oh yeah...and also think about how awesome it would be to get the coveted MEDAL OF HONOR: You get a large financial stipend for the rest of your life, with cost of living adjustments. You get an automatic invitation to all future Presidential Inaugurations. You get to be buried at Arlington National Cemetery with a ten-gun salute. And here's my personal favorite: All your children get to attend US Military Academies "without regard to the nomination and quota requirements." WOW!

Wait...on second thought...I don't think I'd want to face armed, angry Taliban soldiers at night in the desert. You go, Salvatore!!

JAN 7 MERRY COPTIC CHRISTMAS!

JAN 7 MERRY COPTIC CHRISTMAS!

Ho! Ho! Ho! We may have already celebrated Christmas, but for the THREE HUNDRED MILLION who worship in the Orthodox Church, TODAY, January Seventh, is the true birth date of Jesus Christ. Why are there two dates? Glad you asked! Up until the year 1583, all Christians celebrated Christmas on January 7th. But, on this date in the sixteen century, the Vatican announced it was shifting all holy dates to the newly perfected Gregorian calendar, thereby officially replacing the Julian calendar in the West. From this date on, there would be two Christian calendars as the orthodox churches in the Eastern Mediterranean didn't adopt the new calendar. This is why Greeks, Russians and Coptics celebrate Christmas and Easter twelve days later than us every year.

But today, nowhere is Christmas more important than for the eight million followers of the Coptic Orthodox Church in Egypt. You might have heard, seven days ago hundreds of worshippers crowded into the pews at the All Soul's Church, awaiting the New Year's Mass at midnight. Then...all of sudden...BAM!...a bomb ripped through the church, killing 21 and injuring a hundred more. Tensions between the minority Coptic Christians and the majority Sunni Muslims exploded as protests and counter-protests flared across the the Middle East's most populous nation. Today, Coptic worshippers have been assured by the government it is safe to return to the churches and cathedrals to celebrate Christmas. But would you go to mass if you were a Coptic Christian in Egypt?

If our century has one historical theme so far, it has to be the renewal of religious strife between Islam and Christianity. Fueled by the 9-11 attacks in 2001, (don't forget, 2011 is the TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY) and by the continuing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, we haven't seen this much bloodshed between the two faiths since the Great Crusades began in the 1200's. All across the globe, we are seeing tensions mount. Earlier this week, a court in Pakistan found a Christian guilty of blasphemy against Islam and sentenced her to death. Here in the US, the planned Mosque in Manhattan remains a lightning rod as well.

But to me, the current situation in Egypt is the most disturbing. The oldest branch of Christianity is the Orthodox Egyptian Coptic Church. After Christ's death in the year 30 AD, St. Mark fled to Alexandria. The first Christian scriptures were written down secretly and then spread around the globe. For the next two thousand years, the Coptic faith has withstood the worst: The Roman Empire, Barbarian invaders, Islamic Holy Wars, Napoleon, Hitler, Nasser...(Let's face it: the Coptics are tough!) But, throughout all these disastrous events, people in the ancient cities of Alexandria and Cairo have managed to co-exist; Christians and Muslims living together.

Another reason why we need to keep a close eye on these events is Egypt's position amongst other Arab nations. With 80 million people, it is by far the most populous Arab state. It also is the hub of all Arabic language media. All TV shows, movies, music, books, magazine originate in Cairo, the trend-setter for Arab pop culture. To insure any peace in the Middle East, Egypt needs to maintain its place not only as model of religious tolerance, but also as a functioning, mainstream, non-fundamentalist society as well.

DEC 26 STATEHOOD FOR PUERTO RICO IN 2011?

DEC 26 STATEHOOD FOR PUERTO RICO IN 2011?

Recently, the US House of Representatives passed a bill you might have missed. It granted the territorial government of Puerto Rico the right to hold an election in 2011 to decide whether or not the island wants to become the 51st US state. Heard this one before? Well, this isn't the first time Puerto Ricans have gone to the polls on the subject. In 1967, 1993 and 1998, similar ballot measures failed, and the island remained a US territory. But nowadays, things are different. For the first time ever, a pro-statehood political party is in control of both the legislature AND the governor's office. Finally, it seems the people of Puerto Rico want to formally join the United States of America and lose their status as an 'unincorporated territory of the USA'...a very confusing term.

Confusing is a good word to describe Puerto Rico. Even the name itself is confusing. The island was discovered by Christopher Columbus, who named it after St. John the Baptist. However, traders and pirates refered to it as the 'rich port.' Somewhere along the way, the names for the city and the island got switched. So, today, the island is called 'Rich port' (Puerto Rico) and the city has Columbus' original name of 'St. John' (San Juan). How the island became a US territory is also confusing. After the Spanish-American War, Cuba, Puerto Rico, Guam and the Philippine Islands were ceded from Spain to the USA. While Cuba and the Philippines would later become independent nations, tiny Guam and heavily populated Puerto Rico would forever be left in limbo. Are they a colony or a territory or a commonwealth...or...or...whatever.

The confusion continues. While the 150,000 people on Guam are fine being a forgotten island, the four million folks on Puerto Rico are not. Over the last 113 years, many attempts have been made to clarify their status as 'Americans.' In 1917, President Wilson signed legislation officially making all who live on the island US citizens. Twenty years later, they were included in the Social Security Program...and later in Medicare as well. However, Puerto Ricans are not required to pay Federal Income tax, and cannot vote for president. Nor do they have a representative in Congress. All of which is very confusing. Hopefully, next year's vote on statehood will help solidify the lush island's status. Until then, the DUNER BLOG has a fun quiz for you to take. Here are five true or false statement about Puerto Rico. Good luck!

1. Miss Puerto Rico competes in the Miss America Pageant.
2. You can shop at 7-11, Costco and Wal-Mart in Puerto Rico.
3. The island uses the US dollar as currency.
4. France has an embassy in San Juan.
5. US citizens need a passport to visit Puerto Rico.

ANSWERS:
1. False. Miss Puerto Rico competes in the Miss Universe Pageant, not Miss America.
2. True. Almost all American conglomerates are active on the island.
3. True. American dollars have been used since 1898.
4. False. As a territory, it can only have foreign consulates, not embassies.
5. False. US citizens do not need a passport to enter a US territory.

DEC 15 OPRAH INVADES AUSTRALIA

DEC 15 OPRAH INVADES AUSTRALIA

Earlier this year, TV talk-show queen OPRAH WINFREY made the announcement that, after 25 years on the air, this would be her last season. As someone who doesn't watch a lot of daytime TV, you might not realize how momentous this announcement is. Not only is the America's top celebrity, Oprah is also a world-wide phenomenon. Her show can be seen 145 countries around the globe. It is translated into fifty different languages. People everywhere love her unbounded enthusiasm and her over-the-top segments. So it came as no surprise that her FINAL season will be the biggest ever! This week, she took the show overseas to film a week's worth of episodes down under in Australia.

But...as we said...Oprah never does anything small. Her company, Harpo Entertainment, made a huge deal with the Australian Tourism Board. They shelled out $6 million dollars for the empress (and 302 audience members) to launch 'OPRAH'S AUSTRALIAN ADVENTURE!' to the world. While many Aussies scoffed at the massive sums of public money going to an American diva, government ministers have assured taxpayers this is a wise investment. The fact is that since the amazing successful 2000 Sydney Olympics, the nation has seen its once lucrative tourism industry slide deeply during the recession. It costs over a thousand dollars for anyone to fly there, and it's not exactly cheap once you get there. The government hopes Oprah can make people forget this fact and make the world fall in love with Australia.

And she can! Let's review the first couple of days: It began with six thousand fans surrounding an elaborate stage at the famed Sydney Opera House (cleverly renamed the Sydney OPRAH House.) Oprah greeted the adoring fans with a bang. She said "Now I understand why you call Australia 'OZ,; 'cause we truly are at the end of the rainbow." Her first guest was none other than mega-hottie-actor RUSSEL CROWE, an afternoon talk show favorite. Next, an equally hunky Hugh Jackman tried to make an elaborate entrance via zip-line from high atop the Sydney Oprah House. Instead, he bumped his head, recovered with some Aussie chardonnay, and created some much-sought-after news headlines worldwide. She closed the show with a touching interview with the widow of 'Crocodile Hunter' STEVE IRWIN. A tearful Terri told Oprah how difficult her life has been since his sudden death after a mantra-ray speared his chest two years ago.

Next up for Oprah was a visit to the iconic Sydney Harbor Bridge. To her surprise, the Aussies had put a hundred-foot-high 'O' erected on the side. Ten thousand red bulbs lit up to honor the queen. She'll also go snorkeling in the Great Barrier Reef, hike half-way up the Outback's famed Ayers Rock and relax at posh resort near Melbourne. And escorting her along the way will be her 302 friends. "Life is so much better when you can share it." Oprah says!

DEC 8 TINY QATAR TO HOST HUGE WORLD CUP

DEC 8 TINY QATAR TO HOST HUGE WORLD CUP

The unthinkable happened in Geneva last week. You know the scene: Picture the ornate grand ballroom of the luxurious FOUR SEASONS HOTEL. Well-dressed representatives from around the world have gathered over four days to determine who will host two upcoming WORLD CUP SOCCER TOURNAMENTS, the world's biggest sporting event. There's a lot of discussion, collaboration and secrets amongst the 22 dignitaries, all conducted under the soft light of the crystal chandeliers. Finally, after many lavish meals and countless cocktails, a decision has been made. Sepp Blatter, the chairman of FIFA, strolls to the podium with the final announcement: The 2018 games will be held in: Russia! Wow! The crowd applauds. They're an outsider for sure..but, as the world's largest nation...it was not a complete surprise. Then, Sepp announced the host nation for the 2022 games: QATAR. The room is stunned!

Actually, some are stunned, some are giddy, but many are down-right angry. The US, who finished second in the voting, spent millions of dollars preparing a bid. After all, the 1994 event, hosted by the US, was the most profitable World Cup ever! Also upset was the UK. London has brand-new stadiums already built for the 2012 Olympics. The other nations alive in the last rounds of voting were also angry. The representatives from Spain/Portugal, Holland/Belgium, South Korea, Japan and Australia were aghast. But somehow, Qatar pulled off the ultimate upset. Or was it? As evidenced by the Olympic Selection Committees, the most qualified applicant doesn't always win. Or, as Sunil Gulati, the head of the US delegation put it: "It's politics, friendships, relationships, alliances, tactics. I'm not smart enough to figure out how all those played out in these two elections."

Indeed, the voting did leave many questions. Two delegates were removed prior to the final vote for unclear corruption allegations. Back-room politics are notorious in such gatherings, as evidenced by the US envoys who pleaded guilty to influencing the decision to host the 1994 Winter Olympics. It's also no coincidence that both Russia and Qatar are huge producers of oil and natural gas which gives them lots of pocket cash to throw around. The US team tried hard to match the influence of bribes and failed. Heck, they even brought BILL CLINTON to Geneva to drink and banter with the voters. But even 'Slick Willie' was no match for the 'shady sheik. ' Qatar's Swiss bank accounts had some serious cash withdrawals last week!

But the real question here is: How the hell is Qatar supposed to host the world's biggest sporting event? It's the size of Connecticut, has the population of Phoenix and is entirely covered by the unforgiving Arabian Desert. And the WOLRD CUP is held in the SUMMER! But, Sheikh Hamad bin Khalifa Al-Thani, Qatar's ruler, managed to assure that his country will be ready. It plans to build stadiums with solar-powered air conditioning. (Never mind that the technology hasn't been invented just yet!). Everything will be with A/C: the player's village, exhibition centres and all restaurants, night-clubs, airports, hotels, etc. So no one will notice that the average temperature outside in July in Qatar is 104 degrees. Quipped Chuck Blazer, a FIFA rep: "I really don't see how you can air-condition an entire country."

But...while the world is abuzz about Qatar's sleazy corruption allegations...the INTERNET is abuzz with techies, excited about the future. You gotta admit, Qatar is pretty ambitious. They plan to spend $57 billion dollars (!) building the world's first zero-carbon-emission stadium. They sheik hired a Kansas City based architecture firm with big ideas. They began with the design of a Bedouin tent. Then they added the shape of the BIRD'S NEST stadium from the Beijing Olympics. Then, they took the technology used in Japan's SUKATOMO soccer stadium and housed it all under the retracting roof from Arizona's state-of-the-art football stadium in Glendale. I could start describing the plan for the air conditioning, but you're probably better off going to WIRED.COM...I really don't understand the technology.

I guess the main message from Geneva last week is: WATCH OUT FOR QATAR! This emirate means business! The state, like nearby Dubai, has lots of money and is willing to spend it. In the last couple of years, they purchased long-time British stand-bys like HARROD 'S DEPARTMENT STORE and BARCALAY'S BANK. Next up: Financial conquest of the USA. So far, they've only managed to buy MIRAMAX FILMS, so stay tuned. And remember, the 'Q' in Arabic is pronounced like 'KHA' only you use the back part of your throat...Think "CUT-TER." May Allah be with you!