FEB 16 CONFESSION IN SWEDEN'S CROWN JEWEL HEIST

FEB 16  CONFESSION IN SWEDEN'S CROWN JEWEL HEIST

Big news from Stockholm! Swedish broadcaster SVT reported Thursday that a 22 year-old male has confessed to the crime of century: The Crown Jewel Heist. Special prosecutor Isabelle Bjursten proudly announced that the defendant had boldly stated: "I am the one who committed the theft." Although he has yet to identify his accomplices, Isabelle is confident all three thieves will be brought to justice soon.

It's been six months since the brazen robbery occurred in Strangnas, a town of 30,000 people west of the capital. The small town is home to an eight-hundred year old cathedral which housed some of the Royal family's lesser-known treasures: Two jewel encrusted funeral crowns made for King Karl IX's funeral in 1611. Also displayed was a solid-gold orb for Queen Kristina's funeral a dozen years later. Although most of the Swedish family crown jewels are in the Royal Palace in Stockholm, a couple items are housed in other historically important places like Strangnas.

Anyhow, last August three men pulled of a heist that grabbed headlines worldwide. They simply walked into the cathedral, and calmly smashed the glass case. Naturally, the alarm sounded, but the slow priests on duty were no match for the young men who hurried outside. Waiting for them were three bikes. They tossed the crowns and orbs into the baskets and sped away to nearby Lake Malaren. Ditching the cycles on the shore, they bounded into an awaiting speedboat. It's nearly impossible to find one boat on Sweden's third largest lake. Frustrated local authorities turned to Interpol for help.

While this sounds like something out of the classic movie The Italian Job, it turned out to be a bit more like Dog Day Afternoon. See, it's really hard to sell an priceless artifact after it has been shown on the international news. Months passed, and the anxious crooks must have questioned why they stole the crown and orb in the first place. That's the only reason we can figure out why all three items were found in a trash can in an alley in a Stockholm suburb last week. Naturally, police saved the blood samples from the scene of the crime. (Glass is sharp!) and when they matched a suspect, the confession was sealed.

Bravo! It's always refreshing when the Good Guys win. However, we here at the DUNER BLOG would like to remind all readers who work at museums: Never let the lull of day-to-day, month-to-month, year-to-year monotony of your job get to you. Your important work requires you to guard priceless artifacts. Even in a remote place like Stragnas, Sweden, there will always be people dumb enough to think swiping and stealing are the key to success. So stay awake!

FEB 9 FRANCIS IS THE FIRST POPE TO VISIT ARABIAN PENINSULA

FEB 9  FRANCIS IS THE FIRST POPE TO VISIT ARABIAN PENINSULA

This week, Francis made Papal History by becoming the first pope to visit the Arabian Peninsula. Pope Urban II must be turning over in his vault. He's screaming "Deus Volt!" Back in 1096, he organized the First Crusade to free the Holy Land from the "evil infidels of Islam." For the next millennium, the world's two largest religions have been at odds. All of which makes Pope Francis' visit on Monday

even more miraculous.

Let's begin by looking at where the event took place: The Zayed Sports City Stadium in Abu Dhabi, U.A.E. It's one of the largest in the world, capable of holding 180,000 people. Next, let's look at why the event took place: The ruler of the United Arab Emirates, Sheikh Khalifa bin Zayed, declared 2019 as the 'Year of Tolerance." He got things started by opening the Tolerance Bridge in Dubai on January First. But the sheikh really upped his game in February when Pope Francis surprisingly accepted his offer to come to the Arabian Peninsula to make history.

Your next question is: Are there really 180,000 Christians living the tiny U.A.E.? The answer is: Yes, and most are Filipino guest workers. Like neighboring Qatar, a staggering 88% of the U.A.E.'s population aren't citizens. Rather, they are foreign laborers from over 200 other countries. These folks man the oil rigs, serve cocktails in Dubai nightclubs and do everyone's laundry. Since we're talking about eight million people here, it's important to keep them happy when not working. So the sheikh brashly decided to reward them with a massive mass, with the Pope presiding!

Next, let's look at who attended the event. In addition to the 100,000 Filipinos, people from over 100 other countries filled up the stadium. This included a curious mix of Nigerians, French, Australian and a couple Americans. Also standing shoulder-to-shoulder with the Christians were an estimated 5,000 Muslims. While media on both sides of the religious divide love to stoke the centuries-old fires of hate, the feelings inside Zayed Stadium were decidedly different.

Today, Pope Francis is back home at the Vatican. He is receiving numerous texts and statements from around the world...even one from the Saudi King. Likewise, Sheikh Zayed is also being celebrated for his ambitious Year of Tolerance campaign. To judge all of Islam by the acts of ISIS is like judging all of Christianity by the acts of the KKK. We here at the DUNER BLOG challenge Fox News and Al-Jazeera to start making stories like this Papal Visit top headlines. Or should we all just spend the NEXT thousand years fighting?

FEB 2 RUSSIAN JET FLIES GOLD TO VENEZUELA

FEB 2  RUSSIAN JET FLIES GOLD TO VENEZUELA

It's early dawn when the Nordwind Airlines 757 departs Moscow's Vnukovo International Airport. The small charter airline normally just flies wealthy Russians to Mediterranean and Thai resorts, but this morning's flight has a different destination: Dubai. Also odd was the absence of passengers on board. Instead of tourists, the cargo on this plane was 20 tons of solid gold bricks. You're asking yourself: Is this the Duner Blog or the plot of some bad Matt Damon spy movie?

Sorry...this really all happened on Tuesday morning. See, the gold belongs to disgraced and immoral Venezuelan "President" Nicolas Maduro. He is currently clinging to power by insisting recent election results were NOT rigged. Polls show that 90% of Venezuelans want him ousted. Either way, everyone agrees that life has deteriorated under his disastrous six-year term as "President." Although Maduro denies embezzling...for some reason...he has a couple of billion dollars worth of gold bullion stored in the Russian National Bank.

So what do Venezuelan "presidents" do when they fear the end is nearing? They cash out, that's what. Nicolas called Vlad Putin and arranged for a hasty withdraw. That's when Nordwind Airlines got involved. Numerous shiny black vans arrived on the Moscow tarmac and the gold was flown off to shady financiers in Dubai. Here it was laundered into either US Dollars or Euros, (depending on the source). After a fueling stop in Morocco, the flight finally landed in Caracas on Wednesday. Here more shiny black vans arrived to took the cash to the Maduro Mansion.

While this all does make for an entertaining beginning for a Bond movie, the reality of the incident is actually quite disturbing. Putin and Maduro are showing some serious shade here. Both refer to their governments as socialist,  but this event clearly shows they are not interested in the main component in socialism: Representing the people. Maduro may still be clinging to his presidency, but this quick liquidation of assets shows he is planning for the worst.

Let's just hope that opposition leader Juan Guaido...who thankfully has Trump's support...is able to gain power and change matters. On paper, Venezuela should be a smashing success as a nation. It's a petroleum-blessed tropical paradise. Yet it continues to be trapped in a wicked web of rule by strongmen like Maduro and Hugo Chavez. They portray themselves as Socialist idealists like Fidel Castro or Che Guevara, but...in reality...they are embezzling on the side. And shame on you too, Vlad Putin, for bailing this dude out!

JAN 26 ROWDY TOURISTS INVADE NEW ZEALAND

JAN 26  ROWDY TOURISTS INVADE NEW ZEALAND

A natural disaster that has crippled New Zealand's North Island for two weeks is finally over. What has been terrorizing the nation?  Was it a hurricane? Earthquake? Volcanic eruption? Nope, it was something much, much worse: A large family from Liverpool on a ten-day vacation. Their reign of terror began in the largest city and then spiraled out of control into the countryside, leaving behind a trail of trash a kilometer wide.

Meet the Doran's. Like many people these days, they watched the Lord of the Rings movies and decided to book a holiday to New Zealand. After landing in Auckland International, they parked the rental car a loading zone in front of the hotel, garnering four citations. Next, they headed to scenic Takapura Beach. After claiming a prime spot, they proceeded to drink dozens of lagers and eat copious amounts of fish and chips. When finished, they left behind heaps of rubbish. When asked by the locals to pick up their waste, the Brits thoughtfully replied: "I'll bash your fu**ing head in, mate!"

A couple days later, the charming Liverpudlians headed north to Hamilton. Along the way, the police pulled them over. Turns out the Doran's didn't know about car seats for babies. No worries! Kiwi cops are kind, and they all went to the Tesco together to purchase and install the legal car seats. Sensing they were in a compassionate country, the family struck again at a BP gas station. They filled up the tank, got more snacks and some sunglasses...then drove away without paying.

By this point, social media nationwide had informed New Zealanders about the terrible tourists and their destruction. Not surprisingly, the normally docile Kiwis were up in arms. One lady tweeted: 'How dare the limeys disrespect us so?' Things came to a head on Monday afternoon at a Burger King. See, the Whoppers served to the Doran's were disgusting. So they threw the food on the floor and cursed the kitchen crew. Authorities arrived and the family was deported back to the UK. When they arrived at the airport, throngs of media were there, celebrating the end of the national disaster.

While the Doran's are gone, New Zealanders are left grappling with a new reality. Tourism has been growing rapidly in the remote country. Almost 4 million people visited last year...surpassing 2016's record. Soon, the number of annual visitors will be greater than the population of New Zealand (4.8 million). Sadly, the Kiwis are discovering the downside of living in mythical Middle Earth.

JAN 18 WHICH CITY APPEARS IN THE MOST SONG LYRICS?

JAN 18  WHICH CITY APPEARS IN THE MOST SONG LYRICS?

The Research and Development Team here at the DUNER BLOG spends countless hours scouring the Internet for life-changing studies. This week, they found a gem. It comes from an unlikely source, Celebrity Cruises. They analyzed each of the 200,000+ songs that made it onto either the US or UK pop charts. They counted each time a geographic location appears in the lyrics. Here's the results:

New York City is on the top, being mentioned in 161 songs. Frank Sinatra did it best in the 1950's...he included the state name as well. In the 1970's Billy Joel had a New York State of Mind, while twenty years later, Jay-Z had an Empire State of Mind. In second place is London. Since the British charts are included in the study, an iconic song like The Clash's 'London Calling' is included. It hit #11 in the UK, but never cracked the US Billboard charts. Wow...That's some stellar research!

The third, fourth and fifth place spots are all basically the same place: Los Angeles (88), California (68) and Hollywood (66). Singing about the Golden State got off to a roaring start in the sixties, with the Beach Boys leading the way. Interestingly, Randy Newman's anthem 'I Love L.A.' never charted, but Kool & the Gang's 'Hollywood Swinging' did. Go figure. Rounding out the top ten is Paris, Miami, New Orleans, Brooklyn and Rome.

An interesting finding in the study was the celebration of geography in the rap and hip-hop genre. See, rappers love to boast about the places they're from. Harlem came in at #15 and Compton is #19. Rappers also love to boast about the places they've been. Canadian singer Drake mentions 29 different places in his hits...which is tops of any artist. In second place in this category is Jay-Z. He references 26 locales...including Versailles and Rotterdam...in his tracks.

See? This study links two of your favorite things: Tunes and Travel. "Music can inspire where we travel and bring back emotive memories of the places where we've been," explains Jo Rzymowska, the person at Celebrity Cruises who headed the research. She's right: Once upon a time I was driving a minivan across the George Washington Bridge at midnight when 'Hold On' by Wilson Philips came on the radio. Every time I've heard that dreadful song since, I'm back on that spectacular bridge over the Hudson River.
 

JAN 12 FAQ'S ABOUT ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ

JAN 12  FAQ'S ABOUT ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ

The most talked-about person on Capitol Hill this year must be Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Outspoken, brash and overly confident, the 29-year old representative stole headlines in the first week of the new Congressional session. Not surprisingly, our mailbox is jammed full of questions about the youngest woman EVER to serve in Congress. Let's get started:

What's her background? Cindy, Phoenix. Alexandria is a Libra, so she's intellectual and principled, but also extremely argumentative. (Curiously, she shares a birthday (Oct. 13) with Margaret Thatcher.) Both of her parents are Puerto Rican: Her mother (Blanca Cortez) was born there, father Sergio Ocasio is second-generation. Born in the Bronx, she was raised in suburban Westchester County. An excellent student, she graduated cum laude from Boston University. Like many today, she found few job opportunities after college so Alexandria worked as a bartender at Flats Fix in Union Square. In fact, she was working there less than a year ago!

Is she a Socialist or a Democrat? Justin, Boston. She's both! AOC is a card-carrying member of the Dem. Socialist Party, the current incarnation of the political party made famous by Eugene V. Debs a century ago. However, it's impossible to get into Congress today unless you're part of the two-party stranglehold, so she became a Democrat and boldly challenged ten-time incumbent Joe Crowley for his Bronx/Queens district. Despite endorsements from Gov. Cuomo, Sen. Schumer and Mayor de Blassio, he lost the primary to AOC. "You can't beat big money with more money," she quipped. Less than 1% of Crowley's $34 million were from small, individual contributors. Over 75% of AOC's $1 million came from this group.

Why do so many people hate her? Sophy, Seattle. It's true...she doesn't have many friends on Capitol Hill. Crowley was popular. With the 4th longest tenure among Dems, he was being tabbed to become a future Speaker. His replacement is the opposite, and the hallowed walls of the 212 year-old building aren't exactly ready for a boisterous 29 year-old Bronx babe. "Sit still and learn the job," instructed Whoopi Goldberg. Republicans hate her proposal of a 70% income tax on the ultra-wealthy ($10+ million annual salaries). Here, she has the Duner Blog's backing. Next year, the net worth of the world's 1% top earners will surpass that of the combined wealth of the remaining 99%. That's wrong, and AOC is only one brave enough to admit it.

Is she married? Tom, San Diego. Just look at that smile! Believe it or not, Alexandria is both stunning and single. But don't get too hopeful, gents. She is in a serious relationship. Riley Roberts met her at a symposium at Boston U. Since then, the two have been a serious item. He's a redhead from Arizona who works as a web designer. Yawn. They've lived together in the Bronx for years and he has relocated to DC with her. However, don't ask Alexandria about her boyfriend. She keeps her private life private. The two are rarely photographed together and she never talks about him on social media.

Do you think she'll be a force in the future? Rahul, Mumbai. With only five days on the job, it's way too early to tell. While Alexandria has a great vision of America's future (no tuition for college, universal health care) she does need to listen to Whoopi. Like Trump, she likes to govern via Twitter. Her two million followers loved it when she posted "Who dat?" yesterday. Just remember, dear, you won the primary by doing the most low-tech thing ever: Showing up to the debate and having your opponent, Over-Confident Crowley, send an intern.

JAN 5 THE WORLD'S MOST DANGEROUS AIRPORTS

JAN 5  THE WORLD'S MOST DANGEROUS AIRPORTS

Happy New Year from the Duner Blog! If you're like us, you likely spent some time during the holidays on a plane. And...no matter how many times you fly...landings always cause anxiety. It always looks like the plane is going into the bay at Oakland Airport. It always feels like the plane is landing in the harbor at Boston's Logan International. But guess what? On Simple Flying's latest rankings of scary airports, you won't find any in America! Here are five entries we suggest avoiding:

Tenzing-Hillary Airport, Nepal. Most world travelers have Mount Everest on their bucket list. They would think twice about visiting the legendary peak after learning about the nearest airport. With an altitude of 9,334 feet, it's one of the highest passenger airports on earth. With one runway at 1,729 feet, it's one of the shortest on earth. It's only open during the day to tiny aircraft and helicopters. It has no lights and little electricity. Despite these dreary stats, 119,000 people took the short flight here from Kathmandu last year.

Princess Juliana Airport, St. Maarten. Like England and France, Holland still owns a couple islands in the Caribbean Sea.  Seven and half islands to be exact. Where is the half? The island of St. Maarten. See, the French own the northern half, and the Dutch rule the remaining 14 square miles to the South. It's hard to squeeze in an airport among the hotels, resorts, casinos and the golf course...so it's nestled in precariously close to the main beach. We're talking one block away. This entry is more scary for the beach goers than the airline passengers!

Gibraltar International Airport. Even smaller than St. Maarten, this famous British colony clocks in with a mere three square miles. The solution to finding room for an airport in cramped Gibraltar is to use the city streets as runways. Numerous times daily, auto traffic on Churchill Avenue is suspended whenever a plane arrives. The lights used are similar to those blinking railway crossing barriers. Expect more interruptions: EasyJet is now offering daily direct flights from the U.K.

Damascus Airport, Syria. This entry has nothing to do with geographic issues. There are no steep cliffs, treacherous mountains or any ocean near Damascus. Nope, the problem here is the Civil War that has engulfed the Mideastern nation. For most of the six years of conflict, the airport has been shuttered. However, after the most recent ceasefire, it's open again. Seven daring airlines are providing service to the Syrian capital. The pilots are hoping that ISIS is running out of rocket launchers.

Tegucigalpa Airport, Honduras. Our final destination suffers from both issues. First, the approach to the ravine where the airport sits involves a dangerous 45-degree bank turn. We're not sure what that entails, but it has caused numerous crashes. The most recent, in 2008, saw an Airbus A320 sputter off the runway and on to a street. If you do manage to land safely, you'll find yourself in the heart of Honduras...one of the most lawless nations on earth. The highway to the airport is notorious for daring hit and run robberies, especially at night.