DEC 8 PETA: NO MORE ANTI-ANIMAL IDIOMS

DEC 8  PETA: NO MORE ANTI-ANIMAL IDIOMS

Guess what? This week's most offensive tweet did NOT come from Donald Trump! Nope, this time the Internet is a flutter over a ridiculous tweet from the well-intended...yet often misguided...activists at PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals). To explain: People support them when they lobby Congress for tighter regulation of poultry production plants. People ridicule them when they suggest outlandish ideas like this one. PETA wants to start using new, more humane, versions of common idioms: "Phrases that trivialize cruelty to animals must soon vanish." Let's begin by examining some examples of anti-animal language.

OLD: "Kill two birds with one stone."
NEW: "Feed two birds with one scone."
See how this works? One small group of people are telling the world's two billion English speakers to change how they speak. The problem is that people...in every language...prefer to use idioms for exclamation. It's boring to say. "Let's achieve two things at the same time." Instead, you use a lively phrase that dates back to Daedalus. Imprisoned in Crete, he would kill birds with a stone for their feathers. Quirky idioms just make a bolder point. And...finally...should be birds be eating scones? Baked sugar? That sounds unhealthy..

OLD: "Beat a dead horse."
NEW: "Feed a fed horse."
Here, the main idea is to stop wasting time by trying to accomplish something that is impossible. But, rather than using ten long words, we use four small ones to more graphically convey the point. That's just how language works. This idiom dates back to the 1800's when everyone got around town in a horse and buggy. It never got updated in the 1900's ('Start a broken car'?) probably because of the imagery it shows. Anyhow...again...PETA has a logic problem. Is feeding a horse that has already eaten a good idea? That sounds unhealthy..

OLD: 'Bring home the bacon."
NEW: "Bring home the bagels."
This phrase dates back to the 1100's, when the church would annually give bacon to married couples who 'demonstrated wedding bliss.' Over time, it evolved into more specific meaning. Not only can one earn enough to feed a family...but one can bring home a gourmet item like bacon. Yum. Most Americans remember the idiom from the Peggy Lee Song "I'm A Woman" and the corresponding Enjoli Perfume television commercial. At least this time, PETA doesn't have a conflicting message about anti-animal language.

As we mentioned, online reaction to the tweet has been enormous and irate. So much so, the folks at PETA felt the need to clarify matters. "This is not our primary focus by any means.." Ashley Byrne told the Washington Post. She reminded us not to take this too seriously; PETA, as always, is just "encouraging people to be kind." The lesson learned here is simple: It's always a big mistake to mess with something as sacred as English idioms. For whatever reason, people cherish them. Looks to us like PETA is 'eating crow' on this one. Oops. we mean PETA is 'eating snow' on this one.