MAY 13 THE SULTAN OF BRUNEI IS INSANE

MAY 13 THE SULTAN OF BRUNEI IS INSANE

It was an incredulous scene over the weekend at the BEVERLY HILLS HOTEL.  The rich and famous left their mansions and came to protest.  First, Jay Leno showed up with the bullhorn.  Then, Ellen DeGeneres and Sharon Osborne arrived with angry picket signs.  Next...around noon...the CEO's showed up with food. Virgin boss Richard Branson brought coffee and Dreamworks head Jeffrey Katzenberg got donuts.

OKAY...we might have stretched the truth a little...but the anger is real.  See, the famed BEVERLY HILLS HOTEL has just been purchased by Dorchester Group.  This multinational chain is owned by Hassanal Bolkiah, the evil Sultan of Brunei.  Why are Hollywood celebs so mad at him?  Let's examine his three most audacious actions:

SHARIA LAW.  There are many versions of Sharia Law around the world, and very few have anything to do with the Koran.  In Brunei, it's a three-stage process.  On May First, all unmarried...yet pregnant...women were jailed.  The second phase begins in December.  Crimes like theft and robbery will be punished by flogging and severing of the limbs.  Finally...at the end of 2015...Sodomy and Adultery will become capital offenses.  (Death by stoning).  Since independence in 1980, it has always been illegal to say anything remotely negative about the Royal family.

THE HAREM.  What infuriates Jay Leno the most about the Sultan of Brunei is his amazing lack of integrity.  On one hand, he mandates antiquated, overly conservative laws in the name of Islam.  On the other hand, he maintains a private harem with dozens of beautiful women for his own pleasure.  It's like ABC's hit TV show The Bachelor, but with sex. Just ask Jillian Lauren, a former Miss USA contestant. She applied to be an escort, but the actual job was prostitution.  She described: "lavish parties every night. At these parties there was drinking (which was not legal), dancing, some fairly hilarious karaoke, and, most important, women—about 30 or 40 beauties from all over the world."  Hmm...  That doesn't sound very pious to me!

HIS MATERIALISM.  With vast petroleum reserves in a country the size of Delaware, the money pours into tiny Brunei.  Forbes ranks it as the 4th wealthiest nation (per capita).  But it comes with a twist: “With their money, they could have cured diseases." reported the magazine.  "But they have little interest in the rest of humanity.”  Here are some of the Sultan's prize possessions, according to the New York Post: He has the world's largest car collection, with some 9,000 cars (including two custom-made Mercedes-Benz firetrucks).  He owns 150 homes in 12 countries and has 17 private airplanes to reach them.  With 1,800 rooms, his palace, the Istana Nurul Iman, is the largest private building on earth.

See?  Ellen DeGeneres is mad for a reason.  Unfortunately, the picket lines at the BEVERLY HILLS HOTEL will only hurt low-income maids, and won't hurt the Sultan in the slightest.  Nonetheless, the point has been made.  Finally, you're asking yourself: Why don't the citizens of Brunei rise up against the Sultan?  Well...if you had free health care, free universities, no taxes and zero-interest loans...would you be mad?