SEPT 23 TOP TEN PLASTIC SURGERY NATIONS

SEPT 23 TOP TEN PLASTIC SURGERY NATIONS

This just in from Caracas: Venezuela has an acute shortage of brand-name breast implants! Recent sanctions means that US-produced, FDA approved silicone gel bags are no longer available. A panic has spread amongst image conscious Caraqueñas.  “The women are complaining,” said Ramon Zapata, president of the Society of Plastic Surgeons. “Venezuelan women are very concerned with their self-esteem.”

We conducted research and Venezuela is only Tenth on the list of plastic surgeries/per capita...

10. Venezuela.  So common are breast augmentations in Venezuela, they have become a favorite gift for a girl's Quinceañera. (15th birthday celebration). A popular telenovela (soap opera) is called “Sin Tetas, No Hay Paraiso” (No boobs, no paradise). It's based in a plastic surgeon's office. Even the late Hugo Chavez called the nation's obsession "monstrous."

9. France.  No one is surprised to see this nation on the list. These days, France is the place for high end operations. The plastic surgeons here are legendary. Just ask Carla Bruni, Madonna and Cindy Crawford. They all swear by the work of Parisian Doctor Jean-Louis Sebagh.

8. USA.  On the list of total cosmetic operations are performed, America is #1. But, this list is per capita, so it drops to #8. Don't worry, the Yanks will climb up. See...the old notion that plastic surgery is shameful and vain is...like so...yesterday. It's impossible to find a Reality TV star that hasn't had something done!

7. Dominican Republic.  This island getaway has a most liberal policy toward regulation of cosmetic surgeons: None! Hence, numerous unregulated clinics have sprung up, with doctors who freely negotiate prices. What will cost $6000 in New York can be had for as little as $800.

6. Taiwan.  Another island destination for quickie operations, Taiwan also feeds off mainland demand. Lots of wealthy Chinese flock to Taipei for cheap and indiscreet procedures. Mostly, they want Rhinoplasties, or nose-jobs.

5. Italy. The birthplace of plastic surgery! Centuries ago, Gasparo Tagliacozzi first transplanted tissue and performed the first nose job. These days, Italians are more concerned with hiding signs of aging. It's estimated Italian women have the highest Botox rates in the world!

4. Colombia.  South Americans are obsessed with body image. Colombia is the place to go for cheap liposuction. Main cities like Bogota, Medellin and Cartegena all have neighborhoods cluttered with surgeons. People simply shop for the best deals, as there is a plan for every budget!

3. Greece. Despite a floundering economy, demand for cosmetic surgeries continues to rise in Greece. Even in ancient times, human anatomy has had a coveted place in the national psyche, and modern Greeks are no different. NOTE: Greece leads the world in penis enlargements per capita.

2.  Brazil. No nation loves plastic surgery as much as the bikini-worshiping Brazilians. How acceptable is the practice in mainstream society? Well, the government recently made plastic surgeries deductible on your income tax. They feel the additional income will outweigh the losses in tax. NOTE: Brazil leads the world in butt implants per capita.

1. South Korea. Surprise! The largest center for plastic surgery in the world is Seoul. In fact, one in five women here have had work done. The most popular procedure is Blepharoplasty, or double eyelid surgery. People in Japan and Northern China also come here for more Western-looking eyes...thus inflating their per capita stats over #2 Brazil.
Post Script:  We here at the DUNER BLOG love Emma Watson's United Nations speech on feminism. If Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Susan B Anthony and Betty Friedan were alive today, we could only imagine their opinion on boob jobs. This is not what they had in mind a century ago...

SEPT 17 ROYAL NAVAL SHIP FOUND IN ARCTIC ICE

SEPT 17 ROYAL NAVAL SHIP FOUND IN ARCTIC ICE

This week's blog begins way back in the year 1846. That's when the final voyage of Sir John Franklin took place. Never heard of Sir John Franklin? He was an illustrious Brit who first rose to prominence during the Battle of New Orleans and the famed Battle of Trafalgar. After the Napoleonic Wars, he headed two very successful explorations. His crew mapped Canada's Arctic, charting the coastline of enormous Hudson Bay. In 1829, he was knighted by King George IV, but did not retire. Instead, Sir John's third voyage ended in disaster, with both ships disappearing.

For the last 160 years, the two ships have sat at the bottom of the sea, hidden below the ice off Queen Maud Land. This desolate island sustains no animal or plant life. You'll only find shale rocks, gravel and ice here. So how was the wreck discovered? It was actually a helicopter pilot, who was ferrying researchers for the joint Canadian Coast Guard / Royal Geographic project. He saw something shiny in the water. It turned out to be the exact thing all the researchers were looking for in the first place: The HMS Erebus.

Further investigation has revealed a plethora of artifacts. State of the art SONAR technology combined with imagery from robotic undersea crafts are studying the wreckage. They show a remarkably well preserved galleon teeming with clues as to what happened on board 160 years ago. It's a treasure-trove for historians, anthropologists and people who love adventure. So far, two bronze cannons, some iron muskets, even an old boot...all are waiting to be taken ashore.  

It's not just the explorers who are excited. Let's face it: This is the most interesting thing to happen in Canada in decades! So, naturally, Prime Minister Stephen Harper wanted in on the action too. He proudly posed with Coast Guard Officers next to a piece of the hull. Next, the artifact went across the Atlantic to 10 Downing Street, where Prime Minister David Cameron did a similar photo op. Since it is a Royal Navy vessel, the next of kin were also notified. Alexandra Shackleton, the great-granddaughter of Sir John, was intently following the expedition.

For the time being, the HMS Erebus will remain untouched. While the Northwest Passage is getting wider every year, it still completely unnavigable six months a year, starting in October. So everyone will have to wait until Spring 2015 to see what else is on board. Expect some pretty gruesome tales. After the canned food ran out, sailors ate anything. During the first Franklin Expedition, their ship was locked in the ice for months and Sir John got his nickname: The Man Who Ate His Boots!  

SEPT 10 GERMANY SHOULD REPEAL 'REINHEITSEGEBOT' BEER LAW

SEPT 10 GERMANY SHOULD REPEAL 'REINHEITSEGEBOT' BEER LAW

Prost! It's September, so that means Oktoberfest. Yep, the Beer-based festival is so much fun, Germans simply cannot wait until the actual month to celebrate. In just ten short days, Munich will come alive with fabulous frauleins wearing baby-blue dirndls serving up frothy lager by the liter. However...beneath the festivities...lies the truth: Germans are drinking and selling less beer!

Let's look at the statistics.  In 1990, when Germany reunified, annual per-capita consumption of beer was 148 liters. In 2014, that figure has dropped 28% to 107 liters / year.  During this same period, wine quaffing went up 42%, making Deutschland the fourth largest wine consuming nation in the world. Yikes! The decline has been evidenced in exports as well. Popular brands like Becks, St. Pauli and Spaten all posted losses, while neighboring nations like Holland and Denmark saw spikes in beer sales.

What is wrong with German beer? Some feel the problem is the Reinheitsgebot or 'Purity Law.' Passed in 1516, it stipulated that beer can only be made from four ingredients: Barley, Hops, Water and Yeast. Historians feel the move was to better regulate taxes, but German beer enthusiasts see the law as matter of national pride. In fact, even today, any product that does not meat these standards cannot be called 'Beer,' but rather Alcoholic Malt Drink. Yuck!

The irony is that the law designed to protect beer in Germany is in fact hurting the industry today. The American Craft Brew Craze has hit Europe, thus changing the notions of what is acceptable to put in beer. Pumpkins, nutmeg, grapefruit...even bacon are being added to beer. How crazy has it gotten? Americans make a Coconut Curry Hefeweizen. However, with the Reinheitsgebot in place, German beers are simply not allowed to compete in the craft brew global marketplace. It so bad, 11,000 jobs have been lost over the last five years!

We here at the DUNER BLOG call on Angela Merkel to review policy towards this important German industry. A new strategy needs to be formulated that includes better marketing, target audiences and government subsidies. Finally, we need to re-think the logic of the 1516 Purity Laws. Surely we can have traditional lagers coexist with crazy modern trends. Finally, we must note: Mexico and China will soon pass Germany in annual beer exports. Their top brands, Modello, Dos Equis and Tsingtao were all founded by German immigrants...

SEPT 4 TEN FUN FACTS ABOUT THE BALTIC STATES

SEPT 4 TEN FUN FACTS ABOUT THE BALTIC STATES

Barack Obama's Air Force One jet touched down in Tallinn today. Thus, he becomes the first US President ever to visit one of the three Baltic Nations of Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania. Why bestow such an honor on such a tiny region? Barack wants to reward them for joining NATO ten years ago. At the time, many questioned the logic of the move. Surely it wasn't smart to anger Russia, their powerful and petroleum-rich Eastern neighbor? But after Putin's bold invasion of the Ukraine...suddenly joining a rival military alliance is a brilliant plan!

To help our readers better understand these three small and often forgotten countries, here are Ten Fun Facts about the Baltics:

BALTIC STATES LOVE THE USA. Prior to World War II, Hitler and Stalin secretly met. It was agreed that the USSR could take Finland and the Baltic States if Germany was allowed to take Poland and Czechoslovakia. After the war, Russia never gave the Baltics back. While Western Europe ignored their pleas, the US steadfastly never recognized Soviet occupation and was the first nation to establish relations after (re) independence in 1990. Hence, most in the region see the US as their top ally.

PLENTY OF RUSSIANS STILL LIVE THERE. During the fifty years of Soviet occupation, many Russians moved to the Baltic States for their superior climate. After independence, they stayed. Today 26% of Latvians and 23% of Estonians list Russian as their first language. However, in Lithuania only 5% of their population is of Russian origin. These nations are historical enemies and simply do not get along.

NONE OF THE BALTIC STATES ARE ORTHODOX. While most nations in the region are Eastern Orthodox, the Baltic States are different.  Influenced by Scandinavia, Estonia and Latvia are solidly Lutheran. To the South, Lithuania is Roman Catholic.

NONE OF THE BALTIC STATES USE THE CYRILLIC ALPHABET. Linguistically, the three nations are also linked to the West. The Baltic Branch of the Indo-European language family is small. It contains Latvian, Lithuanian and now extinct Old Prussian. Estonian is in the Finno-Ugric group and is completely incomprehensible to the rest of the world.

LITHUANIA WAS ONCE A MAJOR POWER. In the year 1392, the Great Grand Duke Vytautus expanded his kingdom's borders. From the capital Riga, Lithuania stretched as far as the Black Sea. The legendary Battle of Grunwald in 1410 saw the defeat of the Teutonic Knights. Historians see this as the consummate medieval battle. It is reenacted every year on July 15th.

LATVIA'S FLAG HAS A GRUESOME PAST. Way back in the year 1279, Latvians in the city of Cesis were under siege. When an arrow struck and killed the chief, angry soldiers took their white shirts and dipped them in the dead leader's blood. They waved them in the air as they rose to victory. Since then, various uses of a red stripes on a white background have been used. NOTE: Latvians claim to have the oldest flag on earth.

ESTONIA IS A POP MUSIC PARADISE. Although Estonia's population is only 1.3 million, they have created their own unique brand of Popular Music, complete with a Pop Chart and numerous radio stations. The peak came in 2001, when Tanel Padar won the Eurovision Song Contest.

LITHUANIA IS A BASKETBALL PARADISE. With a population of only 3 million, there are more people in a large US city than in Lithuania. Nonetheless, this nation puts together one helluva Olympic Basketball Team. They won the bronze medal three times (Sydney, Atlanta & Barcelona). Currently, there are four Lithuanians playing in the NBA.

ESTONIA OWNS A THOUSAND ISLANDS. The Baltic is home to as many islands as the Mediterranean Sea, and 1,521 of them are in Estonian territory. Heavily forested and mostly uninhabited, the largest island is Saarema. It is a favorite for tourists as it offers unspoiled beauty and peaceful resorts.

LITHUANIA WAS THE FIRST SOVIET STATE TO SECEDE. Of the fourteen nations to break free from Soviet rule, little Lithuania was the first. March 11, 1990 was truly the beginning of the end for the mighty USSR.

AUG 26 TOP TEN MOST EARTHQUAKE PRONE CITIES

AUG 26 TOP TEN MOST EARTHQUAKE PRONE CITIES

Over the weekend, all of us at the DUNER BLOG were rudely awakened at 3:07 in the morning by a fierce earthquake.  It was a 6.1 on the Richter Scale and was based near Napa. Fortunately, no one was killed. Unfortunately, it's estimated the loss of wine will exceed $1 billion. Anyhow, while San Francisco has had its share of earthquakes over the years, it still failed to make our list of the world cities most prone to earthquakes.

10. Antofagasta, Chile. Pop: 345,000. More earthquakes have struck this Northern Chilean city than any other populated place on earth. (The only reason it is so low on the list is its small population.) Massive quakes struck in 1868, 1877, 1921 and 1996. The worse was a 7.1 Richter Scale quake in 2007 that left 92 people dead.

9. Tijuana, Mexico. Pop: 5,000,000. When people think of big cities of the West Coast, LA & SF come to mind. But these cosmopolitan cities are much better prepared for a quake than TJ. With millions of people living in un-zoned makeshift homes of concrete, bricks and corrugated steel roofs, a 6.0 earthquake centered in Tijuana would kill an estimated 50,000 people.

8. Tokyo, Japan. Pop: 20,000,000. No city on earth is better prepared for a massive quake than Tokyo. Unfortunately, no metropolis in more vulnerable to seismic activity. The 1923 Great Kanto Quake killed 140,000...the worst in the last century. As a result, Tokyo was rebuilt with tremblors in mind. When a 6.1 quake struck the city in May, damages were non-existent.

7. Istanbul, Turkey. Pop: 14,000,000  Located right on the edge of the Eurasian and African tectonic plates, Istanbul is precarious. The Anatolian Fault runs directly below. A jolt in 1509 destroyed all the walls and fortifications. Recently, in 1999, a nearby quake still killed 18,000. With shoddy construction bolstered by municipal bribes, predictions of a big quake are dreary.

6. Jakarta, Indonesia. Pop: 18,000,000. Unregulated growth has seen massive landfill projects in the North. This means that 40% of the capital is under sea level on unsteady ground. Indonesia is no stranger to earthquakes...more happen here than on any other nation on earth. Fortunately, economic growth has led to a new interest in retrofitting.

5. Manila, Philippines. Pop: 15,000,000. This island nation has seen its share of deadly quakes. Fortunately, they have not struck the capital...yet.  A 7.2 quake last year killed 300, and a 7.8 quake in 1990 killed 1600 and a 7.9 trembler in 1976 had a 40,000 death toll. None of these occurred in a densely populated area. If a 7.0 or greater quake hit Manila, one of the world's most densely populated areas, it would be horrific.

4. Kathmandu, Nepal. Pop: 1,500,000. When most people think of Nepal, they imagine snow capped Himalayan peaks graced by pristine rivers. Downstream is the teaming capital of Kathmandu. With scant natural resources and shaky shale bedrock, it's estimated 60% of the buildings would collapse in a 6.0 earthquake. 10% of the population would perish.

3. Mexico City, Mexico. Pop: 20,000,000. Like Kathmandu, Mexico City was built on dried lakes, salt beds and unstable bedrock. Even without earthquakes, buildings like the Guadalupe Cathedral have sunk 10 feet in the last ten years. So when tremblors do strike, their devastation is magnified. Even though the 8.1 quake in 1985 was 500 miles away, over 100,000 people lost their lives.

2. Quito, Ecuador. Pop: 2,000,000. Since its founding in the year 1534, Quito has been hit by one natural disaster after another. See, no other major world city lies at the base of an active volcano. Mighty Pichincha doesn't erupt often, but when it does it covers the city in ash. It is also responsible for sudden and violent quakes.

1. New Delhi, India. Pop: 20,000,000. The reason why New Delhi tops our list is their lack of recent activity. Although not located on a major fault line, earthquakes strike this region routinely. The last on in 2007 was only a 4.7, yet it caused widespread panic, looting and general chaos. Since Delhi is overdue for a big quake, we can only imagine the pandemonium that will inevitably result from a 6.0 or greater earthquake.

AUG 21 LOTTERY WINNER WANTS YOU TO VISIT NORTHERN IRELAND

AUG 21 LOTTERY WINNER WANTS YOU TO VISIT NORTHERN IRELAND

Great news from Belfast! Local lass Margaret Loughrey won a whopping $48 million in the EuroMillions Lottery! Never heard of the EuroMillions? Well, it's a lot like the MegaMillions Lotto in the USA. Instead of numerous states 'teaming up' to make for bigger jackpots, numerous nations 'team up' across the European continent for enormous payouts. And this month's payout was one of the largest EVER!

You're asking yourself: Don't people win big lotteries everyday? Why is the DUNER BLOG interested in something so mundane? Well, Margaret is doing something no other lottery winner has done before. She's giving all but 3% of it away. Crazy, but true. Here are the figures: Ms Loughrey won €34 million and she's giving €33 million away. She figures a million Euros is more than enough for her. She's 48 years old and that's plenty of dough.

You're asking yourself: Is Margaret already wealthy? Surely she must have a large nest egg already! Nope. In fact, Ms Loughrey bought the lucky ticket while walking home from the Unemployment Office. Her benefits are only €70 a week, but she always bought one ticket a week just for luck. (This is Ireland, you know!) "I know what it is like to have nothing," Margaret quipped "I can't miss what I never had." She hints she might retire to the Costa Brava in Spain, but for the time being, she's staying put in Northern Ireland.

You're asking yourself: Who gets all of Margaret's millions? Her 75 year-old mum got a nice cut. Lots of her friends on unemployment also got wads of cash. But don't worry! The vast majority of her winnings are going to her beloved hometown of Strabane. She wants to invest in her community. For example, she spent €1.25 million to buy the historic Herdman's Mill. She's converting it to a craft village where local residents can work. "There is so much talent in Strabane," she explained. "People just need to be given a chance to work, to support families, to run a business, to buy a home.."

It's true: You can learn a lot from Mags. (That's her nickname.) She insists on sharing. "No point in having $48 million and being lonely. That can't make me happy. What can only make me happy is that everyone else is happy." She also feels Northern Island is the most beautiful place on earth and that tourists should come here.  She wants to invest in other famous sites and get folks to come to forgotten province. She's right! The Giant's Causeway (pictured) is a World Heritage Site and should be on everyone's bucket list. So pack your bags and head to land of luck!

PS. Her lucky numbers were 19, 23, 27, 42 & 44.

AUG 13 ARMY OF MONKEYS CAPTURES NEW DELHI

AUG 13 ARMY OF MONKEYS CAPTURES NEW DELHI

This summer's runaway blockbuster movie is 'The Dawn of the the Planet of the Apes.'  It has grossed a staggering $543.5 million worldwide since its May release. The outrageous plot pits humans vs other primates in a bloody battle for control of the earth. Sound too far-fetched? Not to residents of New Delhi! See, India's sprawling capital has been commandeered by a real-life army of ravenous rhesus macaque monkeys. They've taken over hospitals, hotels and are currently invading the Houses of Parliament.

Don't believe us? Ask one of India's newly elected Senior Ministers. They cannot move into their new quarters in the Luyten District, as they are occupied by rogue monkeys. Ask Sonia Gandhi. Angry macaques tore the satellite dish off her roof. Even new Prime Minister Modi's five-bungalow residence complex is under siege. But nowhere in Delhi is the bedlam worse than at the All India Institute of Medical Sciences. Here, the clever monkeys have recently learned how to operate the newly installed automatic doors. They snatch food and terrorize medical staff every day.

Why don't Delhi residents just call an exterminator? It's not that easy. This is India! In addition to cows, rhesus monkeys have a sacred place in Hinduism. In ancient times, the monkey-god Hanuman aided Lord Rama in their epic war against the evil king Ravana. Since then, harming shooting or culling the rhesus monkey is solidly against the scriptures. Many Hindus actually worship them. In fact, patients at the above-mentioned hospital keep worsening the situation by feeding the invading monkeys. They believe the rhesus will bless them and speed their recovery.

The solution? An army of Monkey-Wallahs. (Monkey Men) These brave souls are paid to scare the hordes of simian invaders away. Some dress in costume, others in black robes. The secret, however, is their ability to impersonate the cry of the natural enemy of the rhesus: the aggressive langur monkey. Here's how they do it: "A loud 'Ah-ah-ah' is our first call," explained Mahendra Goswami. "Then a shrill 'Uh-uh-uh.' Finally, the attack call: Uah Uah!'" Earning $115 a month, Goswami is part of 40-man elite force, funded by the municipal government, to chase away the rhesus.

Unfortunately, we here at the DUNER BLOG see the Monkey-Wallah as a very short-term solution to the problem. See, the rhesus monkeys all return the following day. This is a much larger problem. All across Asia, nations grapple with the question: How to implement ancient scripture into a modern life. For example, in the Koran, Mohammad washes his hands with camel urine to clean them. While we know better today, some still feel this is the proper way to sanitize their hands, given its holy rationale. Sadly, until education and religion can co-exist better, New Delhi will just monkey-around with this daunting problem!