MAY 5 PRINCE PHILIP RETIRES FROM PUBLIC ENGAGEMENTS

MAY 5  PRINCE PHILIP RETIRES FROM PUBLIC ENGAGEMENTS

Buckingham Palace dropped a major announcement yesterday. Prince Philip, Queen Elizabeth's 96-year-old husband, is officially retiring from public engagements. What a relief! For sixty years, this royal put his foot in his mouth all around the world. Let's recap some his worst moments.

On China. Philip seems more racist towards some cultures than others. Aside from Africans, the Chinese are most often the butt of his "jokes." At a World Wildlife banquet, he quipped about the diet of his hosts. "If it has four legs or two wings. If it flies or swims...it doesn't matter. The Cantonese will eat it." In 1986, when meeting British students in Wuhan, he warned them: "If you stay here much longer, you'll be slit-eyed too."

On Africa. Everyone's favorite ambassador has traveled to nearly all of the 52 Commonwealth nations. On a stop in Kenya, Philip was confused that ladies had clean, shaved heads. "You are a woman, aren't you?" he asked after a local woman presented him with a gift. Recently, he met with Nigerian president Obasanjo, who wore an Agbada to the occasion. "You look like you're ready for bed." exclaimed the prince.

On Island Nations. The Commonwealth is packed full of island states, who often host Royal visits. During a stop in the Cayman Islands in 1994, he needed clarification on the ethnicity of the lighter-skinned residents. "Aren't you all descended from pirates?" he asked. When meeting Aborigines in Papua New Guinea, Philip asked if the residents "still throw spears at each other."

On Women's Rights. The Prince doesn't just insult foreigners, he has some great positions on issues at home as well. "I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they do the same thing." Not very forward thinking, your highness. Philip does believe in chivalry...to a point. "When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife."

On Children. Kids around the U.K. must be rejoicing that Philip won't be visiting their schools anymore. When a 12-year old said he'd like to travel in space someday, he replied; "You're too fat to be an astronaut." After hearing the Edinburgh Children's Band: "You were playing instruments? No, you all have tape recorders under your seats." He also told a group of girls wearing matching burgundy dresses: "You all look like Dracula's daughters!"

However, not all of Philip's comments are offensive. Sometimes, the Prince can be downright funny. When meeting Malala Yousafzai, who was shot by the Taliban for being a female student, he told the teen: "In England, the reason children go to school is because their parents don't want them in the house." The Nobel Prize winner giggled. After a thousand inappropriate comments, he finally got one right! Sigh. We here at the DUNER BLOG can't wait for a new generation of British royalty headed by Wills, Harry, Kate and PIPPA!!!

APRIL 29 NEW ORLEANS REMOVES CONFEDERATE MONUMENTS

APRIL 29 NEW ORLEANS REMOVES CONFEDERATE MONUMENTS

Time: Monday Morning, 3:00 AM. Place: New Orleans. Scene: A fleet of black flat-bed trucks arrive at the Battle of Liberty Place. Out came dozens of masked men. Knowing their lives are in grave danger, snipers have been placed on rooftops of nearby buildings to protect them. After receiving the final OK from HQ, they begin their dangerous task: Removing a Confederate obelisk that has withstood 126 years of opposition.

By dawn, the massive marble icon was gone...without a single KKK shooter. Mayor Mitch Landrieu applauded the action. "It sends a clear and unequivocal message on diversity, inclusion and tolerance," he summarized. After the courts and City Council's tremendous resolution earlier this year, it's clearing time for Confederate monuments in the Crescent City. One obelisk down, three statues to go. Next up is the Beauregard Statue at the college. All four monuments date back to the 1800's. They have been accepted by locals as part of their history: good or bad. But suddenly, everything changed in 2017, and they became symbols of hate and had to be instantly removed.

Why this week? Basically, New Orleans is finally feeling the political ripple-effect that began a year ago in South Carolina. That's when nine African-Americans were shot in a horrific racial attack. Voters demanded elected officials do something in response, so they removed the Confederate flag from atop the Statehouse. This triggered a domino-effect across the South. Confederate statues in Atlanta, Memphis...and now New Orleans...have all succumbed to the political fall-out from this one event. So they are all being removed.

Meanwhile, historians across the nation are left scratching their heads. The act of erasing and thus attempting to change the memories of the past is always risky business. Just ask the Senators of Ancient Rome. After killing Julius Caesar, they began dismantling his many monuments and statues, hoping to change public opinion. The process even had a title: Damnatio Memoriae or 'Condemnation of Memory.' It didn't work and Caesar remains relevant two thousand years later. However...this time...it will work. Everyone in New Orleans will forget about the Confederacy. It's as easy as removing a statue!

In actuality, the people of New Orleans have been largely receptive. The obelisk honored the Crescent City White League...so few folks protested. However, the last two monuments to be removed may prove a little more difficult. Confederate general Robert E. Lee is considered a genius of military strategy. Confederate president Jefferson Davis held office for five years. They were both amazing leaders. Sigh. It's just sad to see such an enormous decision made so hastily and without a public vote. Removing statues of Hitler and Stalin is much easier!

APRIL 22 CHRISTIANS IN THE MIDDLE EAST ARE DISAPPEARING

APRIL 22 CHRISTIANS IN THE MIDDLE EAST ARE DISAPPEARING

Last Sunday was Easter. All across the world, Christians came together for one of their most important holidays. Pope Francis spoke at the Vatican. President Trump hid eggs in Washington DC.  Filipinos nailed each other to crosses. However, there is one place where celebrations were definitely muted. Sadly, it's the same place where Jesus Christ spent his entire life: The Middle East.

Exactly two hundred years ago, a 17-year-old named Jesus first began preaching about a new faith. After his death, conversion began rapidly. By the year 200 AD, over two million people believed. In the Middle East, Christianity replaced Roman deities and pushed Zoroastrians into the desert. However, things changed dramatically in the 700's, with the coming of the Prophet Mohammed's first jihad. Almost everyone became Islamic. Christian populations plummeted at first, but stabilized after Sunnis became more tolerant. As expected, Christians settled in the more arid regions and had limited rights under the Caliphates.

Despite this, when the new millennium began seventeen years ago, an estimated 20 million Christians still lived in the Middle East. They are not Catholic or Protestant. Rather, they hail from ancient branches of the faith that Americans are not familiar with. The largest is the Coptic Orthodox Church, which commands 8 million followers...10% of Egypt's population. As the oldest branch of Christianity, it dates back to 42 AD, when the Apostle Mark came to Alexandria. ISIS has been aggressive hating the Coptics lately. They killed 58 people in church bombings on Palm Sunday. Hence, there was not much merriment on Easter this year in Egypt.

Also not having much fun on Easter this year are the 1.4 million Christians living in Iraq. The Chaldean sect is unfortunately based in Mosul, an ISIS base city. They fled and for the last four years they have been living in refugee camps, awaiting word if they can return. Although Mosul was liberated from the evil group last month, Shi'ite forces are in control of the city today. Sadly, they are not as welcoming as the Sunnis of Saddam. Likewise, the Assyrian Orthodox was largely protected under Bashar al-Assad, but faced executions under ISIS and rebel groups.

In short, the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001 succeeded in a goal not seen much by the outside world: Discrimination against Christians in the Middle East. The ensuing invasion of Iraq by the USA has been horrifyingly difficult for the Chaldeans, and their lives have been further marginalized. The instability in Syria has also been tough on Christians. Finally, the rise of ISIS has resulted in 400 deaths of Christian Coptics in Egypt. The outside world seems oblivious, and just assumes that everyone in the Middle East is Islamic. What would Richard the Lionhearted think?

APRIL 14 SPANISH BATTLESHIP IN BRITISH TERRITORIAL WATERS

APRIL 14 SPANISH BATTLESHIP IN BRITISH TERRITORIAL WATERS

For the second time this month, the Spanish Navy has crossed into British territorial waters. At question is an enormous patrol boat called the Infanta Cristina.  The vessel has sailed past the centuries-old demarcation, separating Gibraltar from Spain. When asked for a motive for the incursion, Spain's foreign ministry quipped they didn't recognize the waters as belonging to Gibraltar and that their boat was on a routine patrol.

No so fast! British Prime Minister Theresa May was quick to remind Spain of Article 10 in the Treaty of Utrecht. Both nations signed the pact back in 1713, ceding the island and said territorial waters to the United Kingdom. Spain instantly regretted this, and tried to regain control a dozen years later. A six-month siege failed. Fifty years later, when England was busy fighting rebelling American colonists, Spain tried again to siege Gibraltar...and came up short. Two centuries later, the chaos of World War II served as an opportunity to grab the colony. Again they failed.

Readers are wondering: Why is Spain again trying to claim Gibraltar today? What world event is giving them another chance? The answer is Brexit! The logic is simple: By pulling out of the EU, Great Britain is also pulling out of all agreements, including the 300 year-old Treaty of Utrecht. Many in the UK scoff at this, reminding the EU of their constitutional duties to let people chose their sovereignty. In 2002, 98% of Gibraltarians voted to stay in the United Kingdom. Just ask Fabian Picardo, the colony's Chief Minister. "Unnecessary, unjustified and unacceptable," he clamored. "Spain's unusual obsession with Gibraltar must end!"

Just why is Spain so occupied with the dream of taking back Gibraltar? Although tiny (a mere 2.6 square miles), the symbolism of owning "The Rock" is powerful. Just ask Prudential Insurance Company. Their logo features a drawing of the domineeringly large 1,398 foot limestone promontory. First called the Pillars of Hercules, it was renamed Jabal-al-Tariq (Tariq's Mountain) in the year 711. This is when the Moors invaded Europe. This name has stuck and Gibraltar remains one of the world's most recognizable mountains...a Herculean symbol of strength.

The conflict is a simple reminder of a rivalry that has never been forgotten. We've got the world's two largest colonial powers going at it again! Before we get carried away, let's get back to the treaty. At the time, Spain chose to retain Minorca, Majorca and Ibiza and ceded away Gibraltar. That was a smart move! Last year, over three million Brits flew there and spent wads of money. You're winning, Spain! It's time to back off. Just ask Argentina what will happen if you try to do anything militarily to a British colony!

APRIL 7 THE TOP FIVE POP MUSIC ARTISTS OF THE 2000'S SO FAR

APRIL 7 THE TOP FIVE POP MUSIC ARTISTS OF THE 2000'S SO FAR

To see what defines a decade in American culture, it's best to turn to Pop Music. For example, the top selling musician in the 1950's was Elvis Presley. Meanwhile, the 1960's had the Beatles, while the 1970's had the BeeGees. All speak volumes about what average Americans valued in that period. Think about their hair, their message, rebellious attitude, colorful polyester pants, etc... You get the picture. So we here at the DUNER BLOG thought it would be interesting to see which pop musicians are tops in the new millennium. Using a simple formula, here are our findings:

#5. LADY GAGA. Album sales: 25,000,000, #1 Hits: 3. Born Stefani Germanotta in NYC's Upper West Side, this Italian spitfire attended numerous art academies as a teen. Then, Stefani spent five grueling years, releasing dozens of demos and trying a dozens of crazy costumes in hopes of making it big. Fortune smiled on her when she hooked up with producer Rob Fusari. He claims to have given her stage name after the Queen song Radio Ga Ga. In 2008, Just Dance was released, ushering in five solid years of hits. Although her third and fourth albums flopped, this year's Super Bowl Halftime Show reminded everyone of the Power of GaGa.

#4. JUSTIN BIEBER. Album sales: 18,000,000. #1 Hits: 4. While everyone loves to pick on the Bieber, please remember: Every generation has an equivalent teen idol. It's one of the music industries' surest bets: Selling music to teen girls. That's why *NSYNC and Sean Cassidy exist. And while Justin has had lots of difficulty adjusting to fame in his personal life, his celebrity continues to grow. We expect him to change from music to entertainment soon. Justin will soon be the go-to host for any music show and will soon become the new Ryan Seacrest.

#3. KATY PERRY.  Album sales: 16,000,000. #1 Hits: 9. This glam girl from Santa Barbara released her first album with her real name: Katy Hudson. This confused people who thought she was the actress of the same name. So she re-branded herself as Katy Perry. Her silly-lesbian song "I Kissed A Girl" hit #1 and Katy signed with Capitol Records. For her second album, she teamed with Swedish songwriter Max Martin. 'Teenage Dream' racked up five more #1 hits, tying her with Michael Jackson as the only person to accomplish this feat. Unfortunately, her music future looks dim. Her current single has yet to crack the Top Ten. Currently, she seems more interested in politics than music and could soon run for office.

#2. TAYLOR SWIFT. Album sales: 32,000,000. #1 Hits: 4. Born and raised in Western Pennsylvania, Taylor moved to Nashville as a teen. At age 14, she became to youngest person to ever sign a contract with Sony Music. It was a smart move. Her self-titled debut quickly moved from the Country charts to the Pop Music charts. Eager to show her musical talents, Taylor wrote every song on her second album, Fearless. However, on her third and fourth albums, she too went to Sweden to employ the talents of Max Martin and had four #1 hits. With a rabid fan base, look for Taylor to continue to dominate the industry.

#1. RIHANNA. Album sales: 35,000,0000. #1 Hits: 13. Far and away, the most bankable Pop Star of the new millennium in Robyn 'Rihanna' Fenty. While it took years for GaGa and Katy Perry to break into superstardom, things went pretty quickly for Rihanna. Like many people in Barbados, she worked in the tourism industry. She and two friends sung karaoke songs in a beachside club. One night, famed producer Evan Rogers just happened to be there on vacation. He told Rihanna to lose her two classmates and call Jay-Z in the morning. The rest is music history. She has managed to find the perfect song and manages to stay relevant every year. Congratulations!

MARCH 31 OAKLAND RAIDERS MOVING TO LAS VEGAS

MARCH 31  OAKLAND RAIDERS MOVING TO LAS VEGAS

Say it ain't so, Joe! Sorry: The vote is in and the Oakland Raiders are moving to Las Vegas. It was made official on Monday at the annual N.F.L. owners meetings. Held on the last week in March, thirty-two millionaires and billionaires converge at the Biltmore Hotel in Phoenix. Behind closed doors, they wheel and deal with football fan's hearts like pieces on a chess board. Our mailbox is jammed packed...so let's get started.

Why do the Raiders owners want to move to Las Vegas? Leslie, Des Moines. Normally, teams move to larger cities to increase their fan base. Clark County Nevada is the 29th largest metro area in the USA with two million residents. The Bay Area is the 11th largest. Nope, the reason why Mark Davis is moving is he wants a new stadium. Ever since Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones built the behemoth, luxurious indoor super-stadium, all the other owners have been jealous. Other cities like Phoenix, Pittsburgh and Seattle followed the trend and have state-of-art football arenas. However, the publicly-owned Oakland Coliseum is one of the oldest in the league. And Mark Davis is tired of the other owners laughing at him about it!

Is the stadium in Oakland really that bad? Tracy, New York. Naturally, the answer depends on who you ask. According to a recent poll in USA Today, the Oakland Coliseum did not fare well. It placed 30th of the 31 stadiums nationwide. Ouch! The biggest complaint involved the multi-use field which is also used for baseball. This means the first 4 games are played with dirt patches. However, if you ask the fans who actually buy the tickets, they will reply with indifference. See, these are passionate fans who come to watch the game on the field. Frankly, they don't notice much about anything else and certainly don't care about the national rankings of the food vendors.

Who cast the lone vote against the move? Ethan, El Cerrito. Perhaps the most surprising aspect of this story is the near-unanimity of the final vote. A whopping 31 of the 32 owners approved the move. NOTE: A two-thirds vote is required for this measure. That one vote against relocation was from Miami Dolphins owner Stephen Ross. It appears he is the only participant who cares at all about fans. "I may own the Dolphins, but the team belongs to the people of Miami." he explained. Raider fans are known for their fervor. It seems 99% of the fans at a home games don Raiders gear. ESPN Jersey Rankings has them at #2 in sales amongst all teams.

When will the move occur? Tom, San Diego. Here's the tricky part: The new, domed super-stadium in Vegas won't be completed until the year 2019. Normally, when a pro team relocates, they play a season or two in a smaller venue until construction ends. For example, the Los Angeles Rams are playing in the ancient Coliseum while the most expensive stadium EVER is being built nearby. However, there is no stadium in tiny Vegas large enough to support a pro football team. So next two seasons will still be played in Oakland. This will create a lot of tension in the stands for anyone dumb enough to wear any Las Vegas merchandise to a home game.

At the end of the day, what message are the owners sending? Stephen A, Los Angeles. An editorial in the New York Times stated owners are "going where the money is." See, the 32 NFL teams have a revenue-sharing system, where profits are equally divided amongst teams. Last season, Oakland produced one the smallest contributions. The excitement of a team in Sin City will be a huge financial gain for all of the owners, even the one who voted for the fans. Let's face the truth. The owners stopped caring about fans decades ago. They are simply a commodity that can be found...and mined of their cash...anywhere.

MARCH 24 U.A.E. HAS A MINISTER OF HAPPINESS

MARCH 24  U.A.E. HAS A MINISTER OF HAPPINESS

Here’s something you might have missed:
Monday, March 20^th was International Happiness Day. Did you remember to celebrate? Sure...it’s a relatively new holiday. In fact, it was proclaimed an official day of festivities by the U.N. General Assembly a mere five years ago, so most nations haven’t exactly begun formal recognition of I.H.D. However, one country has gone bonkers and given everyone the day off: The United Arab Emirates.

See, the Persian Gulf state is the first nation on earth to have a formal cabinet position dedicated to happiness. Her name is Ohood bint Klalfan Al Roumi. Her Excellency has only been on the job less than a year, and this is her biggest project to date. “Some may dismiss the holiday.” Al Roumi explains, “But I assure you, it’s a science. It touches on medicine, health and the social sciences.” She’s right. There are numerous studies that prove that happy people are healthier people.

So far, only a couple of other nations are taking part in government mandated happiness awareness. The pioneer of the movement is the tiny Himalayan kingdom of Bhutan. In 1972, they instituted the first-ever Gross National Happiness Index. It incorporates a complicated rubric to measure joy. Every year, they update the rankings. (Denmark is #1, the USA is #13). Also, Venezuela has a Vice-Minister of Social Happiness and Ecuador employs a Secretary of buen vivir, or good living. Other than that, the remaining 234 nations on earth are yet to embrace this life-changing trend.

Let’s get back to the UAE. It seems the minister is barraged by questions for help. People ask her to make their marriages happier. They want their parents to laugh more. But the biggest problem the minister faces is that most people confuse happiness and wealth. “When we talk about happiness, I don’t refer to pleasures or monetary accomplishments.” Al Roumi clarified. “It’s the authentic, long-term happiness” that really matters.  

Readers must be asking: Why is the Middle East telling us to be more happy? The region is the world’s angriest. Well, the UAE ranks #28^th on the Bhutanese Index, so they clearly are an exception. Cynics are quick to point out the United Arab Emirate’s dismal human rights record. ‘They need a better Minister of Justice, not a Minister of Joy,’ posted a fellow blogger. While the UAE is a bit oppressive, we feel they have managed to find a good balance. Dubai has emerged as sought-after destination for Muslims and Westerners alike.

It seems the USA could learn a lot from the UAE on this issue. We too confuse happiness with wealth. Look at our TV shows: We love to peer inside Kardashian mansions and eavesdrop inside the luxury condos of the Real Housewives. Rappers tell us to “Get rich or die trying.” While we love to talk about Second Amendment rights to own machine guns, we forget about another important message from our founding fathers: The pursuit of happiness. These words appear in the Declaration of Independence. Don't forget: Our forefathers left Europe so they could lead more joyous lives!! While it may not require a cabinet position, it does deserve more attention.