NOV 15 BLACK RHINO OFFICIALLY EXTINCT. HUMANS TO BLAME

The Black Rhino is actually grey.

NOV 15 BLACK RHINO OFFICIALLY EXTINCT. HUMANS TO BLAME

The year is 2211.  Our earth is much different than it was two centuries ago.  The good news is that human population has stabilized at 32 billion.  The bad news is the enormous toll it has taken on the environment.  With 95% of the earth paved over in a myriad of highways, skyscrapers and industrial sludge, there is hardly anything natural left.   So...in the future...the to only way to see the "outdoors," is to travel to eight 'biospheres.'  Inside these glass domes are methodically preserved nature reserves.  These 'gardens' are only places left where plants grow and animals live.  History books in the future bemoan the previous generations...people who had the technological wizardry to make ingenious cell phones but lacked the social skills to "get along with each other" which ultimately cost the earth all of her natural splendor.

Sound far fetched?  Well, there was a major hint on Friday last week that humankind is headed in this direction.  On Friday, RED LIST OF ENDANGERED SPECIES was updated by the IUCN (International Union for the Conservation of Nature).  Biologists worldwide cringed when they clicked on their website and read the horrible news:  The WESTERN BLACK RHINO was officially declared extinct.  Although three thousand of the massive creatures still exist in zoos and nature reserves around the world, they are no longer found in the wild.  And only humans can be blamed.  Why?  Because poachers have killed every last one.  See, in parts of Asia, the horn of the black rhino is falsely believed to cure disease.  Although scientific evidence has proved without a doubt that ground-up Rhino horn (keratin) has no medicinal value, people still pay exorbitant prices for the item.

Rhino horns have a higher street value than cocaine.

Why can't the poachers be stopped?  It's simply because the Western Black Rhino habitat happens to fall in nations like Cameroon and Gabon.  These states have very weak central governments and don't control much of the country outside of the capital cities.  In reality, much of the land is under the control of roving militant groups and migrant criminal gangs.  Says SIMON STUART of the IUCN Species Survival Commission: “They (the rhinos) had the misfortune of occurring in places where we simply weren’t able to get the necessary security in place."  This is why future generations will be so angry with the people who lived on earth in the year 2011.  We let a bunch of 'yahoo poachers' control our prized rain forests and did nothing to stop them.

What will further confuse future generations about people in 2011 is our conflicting attitudes towards the cherished creatures we allowed to go extinct.  On one hand, we have an obsession with African animals in our popular culture.  Our children play with teddy bears and have giraffe wallpaper in their rooms. Our movies are full of wild creatures...films like the 'Lion King,' 'Madagascar' and 'The Jungle Book' all have talking animals! We even sing about how "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" and the "Eye of the Tiger." And don't forget the 40,000 zoos worldwide, where humans go to see their beloved animal friends locked up in cages.  However...on the other hand...when it comes to saving them in the wild...we throw up our hands and say: "Whatever!"

Go to the WWF website for more information.

It's true: There is no easy solution to 'shore up' corrupt African governments.  There is a complex economic cycle entrenched in the region.  Simply put, it rewards individuals who can produce natural resources for the other continents.  Unfortunately, this is where Africa gets much of its income.  Investment in African infrastructure is almost non-existent.  Let's face it...the only big money coming into Africa is for mining, oil production and rhino horn extraction. It's time for people to start looking at the big picture and realize that 25% of all mammals on earth are currently at risk of extinction.  This will happen in your lifetime unless we take action!  Let's Occupy Africa!

A dozen zoos where the Western Black Rhino can be seen worldwide:

Chester Zoo
Cincinnati Zoo
Guadalajara Zoo
Hong Kong Zoo
Honolulu Zoo
Jardim Zoologico, Rio
Moscow Zoo
Safari World Bangkok
San Diego Zoo
St. Louis Zoo
Sydney Wildlife World
Zoo de Vincennes, Paris

NOV 9 DESPITE CANO KILLING, COLOMBIA'S FARC WILL GO ON!

Way to go, President Santos!

NOV 9 DESPITE CANO KILLING, COLOMBIA'S FARC WILL GO ON!

Last Friday, Colombian president JUAN MANUEL SANTOS proudly announced the capture and killing of ALFONSO CANO.  It was a major victory for his government's troops in the world's longest running civil war.  It all began 47 years ago, when Colombia's Communist Party lost big in national elections. Disenchanted with the whole system, the left-wing group declared themselves independent from Bogota.  Called FARC (Fuerzas Armadas Revolucionarias de Colombia), they've grown over the years into a 'de-facto nation' in their own right...it's the size of Switzerland!  Anyhow, it's been awhile since this 'Drug Cartel / Marxist State' has been in the news, so we here at the DUNER BLOG thought it would be fun to run down our five favorite FARC operations of all time.


#5 THE NARCO SUBMARINE. In 2007, the Colombian army ambushed a suspected FARC outpost on the Pacific coast near Ecuador.  Upon entering, they discovered a recently abandoned factory with assembly line production capabilities.  What was FARC building?  A 100-foot long submarine, of course!  Why?  Simple, they needed an undetectable way to get cocaine to the US.  This "Narco-Sub" could hold eight tons of drugs.  It also had a large, turbo-engine that can travel to Tijuana in ten days!  NOTE: It's estimated that FARC makes $320 billion in drug money annually.

#4 COUNTERFEIT OPERATIONS. While drug trafficking is FARC's top source of income, counterfeiting is a close second.  An estimated $160 billion of phony bills are printed each year in Colombia.  However, very little few of them end up in the USA.  Since FARC knows our Feds could easily spot a phony, they are instead passed in neighboring nations.  Ecuador, Guatemala and El Salvador have all abandoned their currencies and use the US Dollar as their legal tender.


#3 SOCCER TEAMS.  With all the money made from these two illegal operations, it means that FARC has billions of US dollars (both real and counterfeit) just lying around.  How does one launder massive sums of money in Colombia?  Buy a soccer team!  Many of the 18 teams in Colombia's 'Primera Liga' have ties to cartels.  One of the nation's most successful teams, America de Cali had all of its US assets (over $1 million) frozen by President Clinton in 2004 as irrefutable evidence pointed toward the Cali cartel's involvement in the franchise.

Colombian women earned $100 a day in Gaddafi's army.

#2 TIES TO GADDAFI. Although not formally recognized as an 'independent nation' by anyone but the government in Bogota, FARC nonetheless has some international alliances.  Fidel Castro was a supporter.  Hugo Chavez in neighboring Venezuela is always visiting.  However, FARC has always had a most 'special relationship' with former Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi.  So close...in fact...that the 'Desert Despot' even trusted Colombian women as personal bodyguards in his private all-female "Amazonian Guard" unit.

#1 HACIENDA NAPOLES. Ranked #7 on 1987 Forbes' Richest List, PABLO ESCOBAR was the movement's most famous leader.  Fueled by the 'crack wars' in the US, the 'Man from Medellin' was at the center of the action and made billions of dollars.  To celebrate, he built himself one of the most audacious mansions ever known to man.  The 7,000 acre 'Naples Hacienda' makes Hearst Castle look small.  In addition to an opulent mansion, Pablo added his own airstrip, bullfighting ring and zoo.  Today, it's an amusement park, with the feral hippos as the top draw! 

NOV 2 AFRICA'S SECOND SUBWAY SYSTEM OPENS IN ALGEIRS

NOV 2 AFRICA'S SECOND SUBWAY SYSTEM OPENS IN ALGIERS

The sleek new trains are the pride of Algiers.

What a day it was for the citizens of Algiers!  Amid cries of joy and chants of "God is Great," President ABDELAZIZ BOUTEFILKA made it official.  After thirty years of construction, the new subway was finally opened its doors for business.  Just like in a Bugs Bunny cartoon, the president clasped a pair of gigantic scissors and sliced through a giant red ribbon and bow.  Hundreds of people stormed past the handsome iron-wrought entrance and down the sparkling, brand-new stairs.  Beep! Beep! The first train pulled up opened her electronic doors to an anticipating audience.  God is Great indeed.

I know...you're asking yourself...Why in heck is everyone so down-right giddy over a subway system?  Well, as far as rivaling metropolises go, subways are major status symbols and each city thinks their system is the best.  For example, Londoners boast how "The Tube" is the best because it's the world's oldest!  (First operating in the year 1863.)  New Yorkers say their system is the best because it has the most stations...a whopping 422 in all!  "Non!" Say the Parisians.  Their Metro is the best because it has the most stations per square kilometer.  It goes on and on.  Tokyo has the most trains per minute and Mexico City has the most passengers per day.  Muscovites will tell you their stations are the most elegant...but we here at the DUNER-BLOG don't know how to measure that claim.

Everyone loves a brand-new subway!

Anyhow, the people of Algiers are not claiming their new metro can compete with these legendary public transportation systems, but it does give citizens some pretty cool bragging rights.  The city of Algiers now has the distinction of owning the second underground railway on the African continent.  That means that today, the people of Algiers can thumb their noses at the Kenyans...crammed onto a smelly Nairobi bus.  Today, they can sneer at the lazy Moroccans (Algeria's hated rival)...shelling out dinars for a taxi.  Nope, the only folks on the African continent who have anything on the proud Algerians are the Cairenes (citizens of Cairo) who have a much larger system.  BUT...if you've ever ridden on the Cairo subway, you know it's not exactly clean.

While these bragging rights are fun, the real reason why the Algerians love their Metro is what it represents.  The construction of the subway was quite the soap opera...a long story of ups and downs...that mirrored what was happening to Algeria overall.  Groundbreaking began in 1982, when times were good.  As the world's fourth-largest supplier of natural gas, a robust economy ensured the foreign construction workers would be paid.  Then came the crash of 1986, when natural gas prices tumbled. A broke treasury halted construction.  It was restarted in 1989, this time employing much more affordable local firms.   In 1991, a gory civil war between the army and religious extremists erupted and engulfed the nation.  Work ceased again.  Then, after ten years of conflict and a quarter of a million deaths later, the capital started to build again.  It all culminated yesterday with the opening of the spotless metro.

Optimistic Map of Future Metro Algiers Line

With natural gas prices at their highest ever, the future looks bright for Algeria. "This is a great day for our country," cried Algiers resident ALI HASSAN as he took his inaugural ride. "It shows we can rise from the ashes!"  And finally, for you subway enthusiasts out there, here are a couple quick stats:

Number of Stations:             Ten
Miles of Track:                     Five
Cost of Ticket:                      67 cents
Operating Company:            Paris Metro

OCT 25 BOLIVIA HALTS CONSTRUCTION OF AMAZON HIGHWAY

Evo in better days.

OCT 25 BOLIVIA HALTS CONSTRUCTION OF AMAZON HIGHWAY

The dream is over for Bolivian president EVO MORALES.  Five and a half years ago, he was a national hero...the first person with indigenous blood to hold the nation's highest office.  "The people are finally in power," he famously proclaimed.  After the election, MORALES continued to impress.  He kept his ambitious campaign promise and nationalized the lucrative the natural gas industry.  Next, he turned to foreign policy and shored up relationships with other South American states.  His alliance with HUGO CHAVEZ and Venezuela helped finance public work projects.  His friendship with Brazilian president LULA DA SILVA helped erase decades of dispute.  Heck, EVO was so successful he was rumored to win the Nobel Peace Prize!  He won re-election in 2009 by a landslide.

HOWEVER...things are quite different for Evo today.  Over the weekend, Morales appeared disheveled and distressed at a press conference.  He announced he was bowing to public pressure and halting construction of the new trans-Amazon highway.  "This is governing by obeying the people," he explained.  It's true...a group of highly motivated protesters had stolen the hearts of Bolivians away from their once-savior.  Here's how: Two months ago a thousand-or-so Amazonian Indians began a 370 mile march from their home to the capital.  The difference in altitude from Trinidad (in the lowland jungles) to La Paz (the world's highest capital) is 13,000 feet.  Many walked the entire distance barefoot.  Along the way, they spoke of the deforestation to rain forest the highway would bring.  They also talked about the inevitable human development a four-lane highway brings.  With daily news coverage of the march, by the time the protesters reached the streets of La Paz, they were hailed as heroes!

The march from the jungles to the mountains.

All of which put Morales in a very sticky situation.  Many Bolivians accused him of not being true to his roots.   How could the nation's first native president build a road through a nature reserve? (C'mon...you know the answer: MONEY!) Indeed, the highway is financed entirely by Brazil.  It would provide a superior route not only to Brazil but also to Chile's Pacific ports as well.  This would make it much easier for everyone to get their natural resources to China.  In short, Bolivia would be able to conduct commerce quicker and cheaper, without investing a peso to build the road.  It appeared to be what every politician dreams of: A Win-Win situation.

The only thing that stood in the way of progress was the 15,000 indigenous folks who happened to live in the distant Amazonian province.  Since this is such a small population, Morales assumed the five million Quechua and Aymara peoples...who currently hold power...wouldn't care and see the greater good of the highway.  He was wrong.  The highland folks showed solidarity for the lowlanders and came out in force.  All week long, the streets of the capital have been filled with demonstrators. And it only gets worse for Morales.   Not only did he anger his own support base, but the Brazilians as well...they were quite eager to build.  Pobracito Evo! Ultimately, the situation boils down to the same issue facing most developing nations on the globe: How can one export raw materials to industrial nations without getting ripped off and destroying your own lands?

This is a question Morales is having trouble answering.  It takes a delicate balance to achieve industry in a rain forest.  Unfortunately, Evo was anything but gentle in his approach to the problem.  Two months ago, when the protest first began, he thundered to the media: "Whether they like it or not...We will build that road."  What happened to the humble subsistence farmer?  It seems six years of dining on caviar in palaces worldwide has made hm a bit arrogant.  Then again...maybe Evo has learned a thing or two from other politicians.  He may be eating crow today but the rumor is he is already secretly planning a new route for the highway.  This one takes a lot longer to drive, but at least it doesn't go through any silly National Parks!

OCT 17 SCRABBLE TOURNAMENT HI JINX: PLAYER HIDES "G" TILE IN HIS PANTS

OCT 17 SCRABBLE TOURNAMENT HI JINX: PLAYER HIDES "G" TILE IN HIS PANTS

All hell broke lose at the SCRABBLE CHAMPIONSHIPS at the Warsaw Hilton yesterday!  Tempers began to flare during a heated late-round match-up.   The favorite, ED MARTIN (an IT guy from London), was barely beating his opponent CHOLLAPAT ITTHI-AREE (an uber-nerd from Bangkok).  Suddenly, after his opponent made some curious moves, the Thai player became enraged!  A tournament official was summoned and listened to his demands.   Next...he must have bust up laughing...after what he had heard.  Chollapat wanted his opponent taken to the restroom and strip-searched.  Why?  Chollapat explained: "Because he is hiding the 'G' tile in his pants!"

After some consultation, cooler heads prevailed.  A new 'G' tile was inserted into the bag and the game continued without incident. (Meaning: No one took their clothes off!) By a slim, one point margin, the Brit hung on and managed the win.  Now...when this story first broke...we here at the DUNER BLOG were barraged with questions.  What is the Warsaw Hilton like?  Can one wager on Scrabble tournaments?  How would hiding the 'G' tile help you win?  Fortunately, we decided not to answer any of these questions, and will instead focus on the more obvious inquiry: What the heck is Competitive Scrabble all about anyhow?

After further investigation, we determined that SCRABBLE isn't just for Mom and Aunt Ruth anymore. So...if you think you've got what it takes to take your game to the next level...here's what you've gotta do the become a Scrabble Champ.  First, you must register with the NASPA (North American Scrabble Player's Association).  Then you must join a sanctioned club.  (Casual clubs cannot send players to competitions).  Then, once you've beaten everyone in your club, you advance to a local, then regional, then the National Championship.  The top ten are automatically qualified for a 'Place in Poland'  at WESPA (World English Scrabble Players Association) World Championships.  Sweet!

Now that you now how to get the gold, let's also make sure you know the rules.  In doing research, we here at the DUNER BLOG came across hundreds of pages of intricate ordinances and statuettes, but...for the sake of brevity...here are a few:  First of all, think quick! Each player is only given 25 minutes for the entire game.  If you exceed this allotment, you will be penalized 10 points for each extra minute. Also, in Competitive Scrabble, you can only use plastic tiles...not the wooden ones.  This eliminates the illegal act of 'braille-ing,' when one feels the tiles with the finger tips in hopes of finding a blank one.  Finally, tracking..or counting...of tiles is allowed.  Whew!

Nigel (Second from left) with champions from other age divisions.

Anyhow...back to last weekend's big tournament in Poland.  After his narrow win over the insane Thai dude, ED MARTIN was ousted and New Zealander NIGEL RICHARDS became the first man to win two championships.  His winning word was "Ominfied" placed on a double word score for a whopping 95 points.  He won 12,000 pounds (62,000 Zloty).   And, finally...because lots of our readers are Scrabble Addicts...let's review some of the all-time scrabble records.    The highest scoring word of all time is QUIXOTRY, which when placed between two triple-word scores (called a double-triple by Scrabblers) with the 'R' tile already in place, is worth an amazing 365 points! The longest word ever played is DISCONTENTMENTS. The most points ever scored in a Scrabble game is 830, achieved by MICHAEL CRESTA in 2006.  When this occurred, Scrabble blogger Stefan Fatsis wrote:

"Michael's accomplishment can be heralded as the anagrammatic equivalent of Wilt Chamberlain's 100-point game in 1962 or Don Larsen's perfect game in the 1956 World Series: a remarkable, wildly aberrational event with potential staying power. Cresta's 830 shattered a 13-year-old record, 770 points, which had been threatened only infrequently."   

And you thought Scrabble was just another board game!

OCT 11 MATADOR GORED: ANTI-BULLFIGHTING ACTIVISTS FURIOUS

OCT 11 MATADOR GORED: ANTI-BULLFIGHTING ACTIVISTS FURIOUS

You know, there's a reason why being a bullfighter is the 'most dangerous job in all of Spain.'  It's because sometimes, the bull wins!!  And that's exactly what happened last Saturday at the FIESTAS DEL PILAR in the city of ZARAGOZA.  As the photo clearly illustrates, the matador, JUAN JOSE PADILLA took the bull's horn directly to his face.  The good news? He survived.  Doctors inserted "titanium plates and mesh to reconstruct the cheek bone structure and the eye socket." The bad news? He'll never see out of his left eye again.  Whew! Well, it looks like lucky JUAN was able to survive...but can the sport of bullfighting?

It's true, for bullfighting fans, the goring couldn't have come at a worse time.  On October First,  a mere six days prior, a law went into effect for the entire region of Catalonia, officially banned the sport forever.  In Barcelona, anti-bullfighting activists staged a rally downtown, while the last bullfight occurred at LA MONUMENTAL, the city's famous bullring.  Fans cried when the last Toro was slain.  It was a sad day for the stadium as well.  After this 'last fight' it closed its doors forever.  It's slated to become an upscale shopping mall.  NOTE: LA MONUMENTAL claimed the noble distinction of being one of the few venues in the world to host both a Beatles and a Rolling Stones concert. 

With these two sudden events, people all over the Iberian Peninsula are forced to ask themselves a tough question: Is bullfighting really a necessary part of Spanish culture?  Many feel it is.  After all, it is older than just about anything else in Spain.  It took two centuries for the Roman armies to kill every last one of the indigenous people of Hispania, who left only their name.  So when the settlers from Italy came to the 'Plain of Spain' in 17 BC, it was completely empty.   And the first thing those zany Romans did was build aqueducts for water and stadiums for gladiator battles.  (Afterward, they constructed their own homes, stores, schools, etc.)  Many of the bullrings of today are built on these ancient locations.

On the other hand, bullfighting is pretty darn gross and gory...feel free to visit the PETA website for all disgusting images and alarming stats.  They also admonish the argument of it being a 'historical icon.'  Let's face it, other insanely violent Spanish traditions...like torturing Jews during the Inquisition, or burning Aztecs at the stake...have become things of the past.  Why not bullfighting?  Statistics back up this argument.  Attendance is down 33% for bullfights over the last three years.  Polls conducted in Spain reveal that only 20% of the population 'strongly support' the tradition, but a whopping 50% want bullfighting banned permanently.

But opinion polls won't close down the bullrings.  So...for the time being...Spain is still hanging on to the proud tradition of bullfighting. There were 1,700 fights last year and each time the bull lost.  Talk about excitement!

OCT 4 JOY IN HAVANA AS CUBA ENDS BAN ON CAR SALES

OCT 4 JOY IN HAVANA AS CUBA LIFTS BAN ON CAR SALES

On Saturday, the Government of Cuba made it official.  RAUL CASTRO repealed one of the world's silliest laws ever enacted.  As of October First, Cuban citizens can finally buy and sell cars.  No longer will the Cuban people be forced to save up suitcases full of pesos and meet in back-alleys with shady used-car salesmen...all just to get a Russian-made Moskvich.  While the new law is merely a minor step towards a more open-market system, it reassuring to the rest of the world that Cuba is at least trying to modernize its insane infrastructure.  Let's face it, when it comes to wacky laws and edicts, Cuba is in a universe of its own.

No...not a universe of it own...more of a time-warp of its own.  When FIDEL CASTRO usurped power in 1959, he engineered one of the shrewdest scams in world history.  Under the "Name of the Revolution," he instantly claimed ownership of everything on the island.  Usually, a coup d'etat in the Caribbean means the new guy occupies the government buildings and the TV stations.  But not FIDEL!  He took over all public and private structures...hotels, stores, factories, businesses, nightclubs and massage parlors.  Then, to insure he'd rule for the next fifty years, he stripped all private citizens of most human rights.  Things like Freedom of Speech and Private Ownership were instantly taken away...also in the "Name of the Revolution."  

But perhaps the most insane of FIDEL CASTRO's numerous laws, ordinances and edicts were those regarding automobiles.  Like other bourgeoisie luxuries, the import of all foreign cars was instantly banned.  Since there are no automobile factories on the island, this meant Cubans were stuck with what ever cars were on the island in the year 1959.  That means...with the exception of some Soviet imports...the cars and trucks on the highways and byways of the Caribbean nation haven't changed in fifty years.  Imagine the scene on a Havana street: A sky-blue '58 Chevrolet Bel Air honks as it tries to merge in front of a black '54 Chrysler Imperial.  (Don't believe me?  Ask me brother BIFF...he's been there!)

Sorry...back to Saturday's ordinance.   In addition to allowing individuals to sell their old cars, it also allowed for limited purchasing of new, imported cars as well.  Believe it or not, there are now a couple car dealerships in Cuba.  But wait...before you take that car home, amigo...you must first take a sworn oath, stating that the money used to purchase said auto was earned "solely through salary in an approved field and not through remittances from relatives abroad."  Since the average Cuban worker only earns $20 a month, we here at the DUNER BLOG don't see a lot of people buying many Bentley's or Maserati's any time soon.

Finally, in addition to the easing of automobile restrictions, the Government of RAUL CASTRO also announced new ordinances regarding private ownership.  Although the details won't be released until 2012, many see a new day dawning on the island.  It will take awhile, but someday in the not too distant future, we could see the island returning to its 1950's glory days...when Cuba was the coolest party destination on the planet.  Just ask LOUISE SUGGS.  She's the defending champion of the Havana Open Golf Tournament, which was last played in 1958.  She's 88 years old now, but still ready to defend her title.