MAR 29 A QUICK PRIMER ON VENEZUELA

MAR 29 A QUICK PRIMER ON VENEZUELA

It's hard to ignore all the horrible stories coming out of Venezuela these days. Hospitals without power. Stores without food. Hyper-inflation at 1,300,000%. (How is that even possible?) While many developing nations experience similar crises, Venezuela deserves special attention. Since geography is extinct in US public schools, here's a quick primer on why this is such a unique nation.

THE NAME. Columbus was the first European to see this stunning land, way back in 1498. He was astonished with the size of the fresh-water Orinoco River and called it a "Terrestrial Paradise." The next year, famed navigator Amerigo Vespucci sailed along the coast. The stilt-homes of the Carib people, perched high above the water, reminded the Italian of Venice...a little bit. So he named it 'Veneziola' or 'Little Venice.'

THE NATION. For centuries, Caracas...along with Cartagena...became one of Spain's most important port cities. Hence, it was the location of a pivotal battle for Venezuelan independence. Dashing revolutionary Simon Bolivar outwitted the Castilian navy in 1821. Venezuela joined Mexico as the second Latin American nation to be recognized by Spain. Here's the story behind the flag, according to Wikipedia: "Yellow is for land wealth, blue is for the ocean that separates Venezuela from Spain, and red is for the blood shed by the heroes of independence." 

THE OIL. For the nation's first 100 years, Venezuela floundered. It was plagued by a sadly common cycle: Violent dictators, corrupt presidents, rigged elections. Then everything suddenly changed. The Great War demonstrated just how thirsty the world was for petroleum. Fortunately for Venezuela, there is tons of black gold under Lake Maracaibo. By 1935, the nation boasted the highest GDP in Latin America. Caracas became a Caribbean jewel.

THE SOCIALISTS. In 1960, Venezuela joined the newly founded OPEC. It proved to be genius. Wars in the Mideast set oil prices soaring. Unsurprisingly, little of the petroleum profits made it to the average citizen. In 1998, populist Hugo Chavez was elected and proclaimed a 'Bolivarian Revolution.' While the poor were helped greatly at first, the Socialist movement fizzled out in the new millennium. Rampant corruption runs the nation, not people-oriented programs. Today, Venezuela is a Socialist nation by name only.

THE FUTURE. Venezuela has fallen to 62nd place on the worldwide GDP index, behind most other South American nations. On the 'Quality of Life' index, it ranks in the bottom ten. However, there is one special chart where Venezuela is #1: The list of nations with proven petroleum reserves. Saudi Arabia, Canada, Iran and Iraq round out the top five. But while Saudi oil will run out in 50 short years, Venezuela's fields won't dry up until the year 2382. That's a pretty rosy future indeed!

We here at the DUNER BLOG hope Venezuela can break the cycle and discover a new government that can more equally share the nation's proven future wealth. Christopher Columbus was right: Venezuela is a natural paradise. For example: It's home to world's tallest waterfall. Angel Falls was featured in the Pixar movie 'Up,'

MAR 23 JIMMY CARTER IS NOW THE LONGEST-LIVING US PRESIDENT

MAR 23 JIMMY CARTER IS NOW THE LONGEST-LIVING US PRESIDENT

Yesterday, former US president Jimmy Carter achieved an auspicious milestone. He became the oldest person to have served as an American president. Of the 45 men who have held the office, none have lived past 94 years and 172 days. Jimmy says his longevity is from healthy eating, a positive attitude and always working. There have been six nonagenarian (fancy term for people in their 90's) presidents. Let's examine who else is on this impressive list.

#2. George H.W. Bush. 94 years old.  When Ronald Reagan became president, his age was an issue. At 69, he was the oldest president ever. He proved the doubters wrong and eight years later, his Vice-President became the third-oldest president. After losing to Bill Clinton in 1992, George didn't go out to pasture. For 25 years, he tossed coins at the Super Bowl, visited troops and jumped out of planes.

#3. Gerald Ford. 93 years old. Who says football players die young? The two-time NCAA champ from Michigan lived to a ripe old age. Not only did he survive savage hits by linebackers, Ford also lived through two assassination attempts while president. Likewise, Ford lived a busy life in his post-president years. He appeared at Republican National Conventions and championed social causes in Michigan.

#4. Ronald Reagan, 93 years old. When Ronnie left the White House, he was 77 years old. After a jampacked life as a movie star, governor and commander-in-chief, it was clearly time to retire. He and Nancy moved into their sprawling Rancho del Cielo in Santa Barbara. A couple years later, he revealed he suffered from Alzheimer's disease.

#5. John Adams. 90 years old. For nearly 200 years, US history teachers taught that our second president lived the longest. Despite his recent fall on this list, Adams' long life remains the most impressive. Life expectancy in 1830 was only 39! After losing his re-election bid to life-long rival Thomas Jefferson, Adams was bitter. However, ten years later, the two amazingly reconciled. It's true: shedding anger helps us live longer.

#6 Herbert Hoover, 90 years old. After suffering a landslide loss to FDR, Hoover remained active in the Republican Party. He is one of the few ex-presidents to serve in another administration. Harry Truman created the Hoover Commission to help him manage the expanding post-war federal government. He also wrote several books.

MAR 16 FAQ'S ABOUT JAIR BOLSONARO

FAQ's ABOUT JAIR BOLSONARO

Tomorrow afternoon, newly elected Brazilian president JAIR BOLSONARO arrives in Washington DC for a three-day summit. It marks a rare moment between the Western Hemisphere's two largest economies. It's also when of the rare times when the leaders of the US and Brazil are aligned politically. We already know too much about Trump, so let's find out more about Bolosonaro.

His last name doesn't sound very Portuguese. Frank, Turlock. You're correct! The Brazilian president is a second-generation Italian/Brazilian. Jair's grandfather was born in Padua, Italy and was part of the massive migration from Southern Europe to South America around 1910. The Bolozonaro's were middle-class migrants seeking a better life in a new continent with the same climate as home. They decided to change the 'Z' in their last name to a more Portuguese-friendly 'S'. (Just like: Brazil - Brasil.)

He boasts a proud military career. True? Travis, Isle of Man. As a teen, Jair attended a military school. This helped his entry into the prestigious Agulhas Negras (Black Eagles) Academy, which is the Brazilian equivalent of West Point. Afterwards, he served a Paratrooper in Mato Grosso for ten years. However, it wasn't jumping out of planes that catapulted him into the public eye. Rather, it was a small interview in Veja Magazine. He voiced his anger over the low pay in the military. This gained him national fame...and a jail sentence. He was elected to Congress next year.

Is he racist? Homophobic? Misogynist? Meg, Providence. Yes, yes, and yes. Through social media, he has long expunged deplorable statements about people from Africa, same-sex marriages and inappropriate comments about women's bodies. We also need to add another important issue to the list: The environment. His Brazil-First campaign slogan means Business-First. This sounds like the wrong person to be in charge of the world's largest rainforest!

What about the comparisions to Trump? Klaus, Koblenz. This is why the summit is so blog-worthy. Many feel the Brazilian president is a Trump protégé. Although he served 27 years in Congress, Jair portrays himself as an outsider...just trying to make Brazil great again. His campaign slogan was 'Brazil acima de tudo, Dueus acim de todos.' (Brazil above everything, God above everyone). Both were elected by voters from the religious right. Both Trump and Bolsonaro use social media as their preferred method of communication...as they both hate the press. And they both have gorgeous wives.

How did he react to the recent Sao Paulo shooting? Cindy, Portland. Through Twitter, Jair did the standard 'Thoughts and Prayers' statement. Yet many in Brazil must be scratching their heads these days. They're wondering about the President's go-to gesture: A gun. They're also questioning his plan of loosening gun laws, in the belief that an armed population is the solution. One thing is clear: No other nation on earth is looking for leadership from either nation when it comes to the problem of gun violence. They are #1 and #2 on the list of per-capita gun deaths.

MAR 9 WHO IS THE BEST GAME SHOW HOST?

MAR 9  WHO IS THE BEST GAME SHOW HOST?

This week, famed game show host Alex Trebek saddened Americans with his sudden announcement. The beloved host of Jeopardy! has stage 4 pancreatic cancer. While it's not a shocking diagnosis for a 79 year-old man, it produced a shocking amount of support and sympathy online. Katie Couric suggested a specialist while Cher tweeted her love. Why such a huge outpouring? Perhaps journalist Jeffrey Toobin summarized it best: "When you arrive in a hotel room in a new city, turning on Jeopardy! is always a grounding experience."

To honor this well-loved...your horribly under-appreciated...genre, here are our top five Game Show Hosts:

#5 Alex Trebek Jeopardy! 1984 - present. Back in the 1980's, when Game Shows were still really popular, Merv Griffin decided to revive his favorite creation. He tapped Alex for the hosting position. He was a vet, having previously hosted unsuccessful shows like The Wizard of Odds, High Rollers and the woeful Double Dare. However, Merv felt Jeopardy! was the perfect vehicle for the quick-witted banter of Trebek. Today, it's one of the few remaining Game Shows on TV.

#4 Gene Rayburn. Match Game. 1962 - 1982. Lanky, goofy and endearing, Gene knew he was the perfect person to become a host. The only problem was his difficult-to-say Croatian last name: Jeljenic. So one day, Gene closed his eyes, opened the phone book and...Boom! He placed his finger randomly on Rayburn. It worked and Gene worked his way up through local Chicago TV shows. His big break came with Match Game. The racy show was so successful, it was moved from daytime to prime time. Match Game PM peaked at #3 in the 1975 - 1976 Nielsen rankings.

#3. Richard Dawson. Family Feud. 1976 - 1985. In addition to Gene, the celebrity panel made Match Game popular. And no one was more risqué than Richard Dawson. The sharp-tongued Brit always knew the answers as well. Bill Goodson knew he would be the perfect fit for his newest game show creation: Family Feud. He was right, as Feud would soon beat Match Game in the rankings. As host, Dawson gained notoriety for kissing each and every female contestant who appeared. The Kissing Bandit explained: "It something my mum did for luck and love.."

#2. Regis Philbin. Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? 1999 - 2004. Although its life span is short compared to others on the list, Regis achieved the highest rankings of any prime-time Game Show. Millionaire became a national sensation, topping the Nielsen's. What made it intriguing was the unique aspect of the host coaching the contest through the thought process to arrive at a conclusion. "Is that your final answer?" This came naturally for Regis, nicknamed The Hardest Working Man on TV. He actually holds the Guinness Book record for the most time spent in front of a TV camera: 16,343 hours.

#1. Bob Barker, The Price Is Right. 1972 - 2007. No one can dispute the fact the Bob Barker is the  King of Game Show Hosts! For kids in America, the best part of a sick-day meant that you got to watch Bob at 10 o'clock in the morning. Normally, you'd be in school and you couldn't ever see it. C'mon...Everyone loves it when Bob enthusiastically says: "Let's see what's behind door #2..." Not to mention the thrilling Showcase Showdown! Even the other Game Show hosts knew Bob was king. In 1992, he was the first to stop dying his hair...leaving it grey. Soon thereafter, Alex and Regis let their natural colors show too.

MAR 2 WAR AVERTED BETWEEN INDIA AND PAKISTAN

MAR 2  WAR AVERTED BETWEEN INDIA AND PAKISTAN

Whew! The world let out a collective sigh of relief yesterday, thanks to Pakistani Prime Minister Imran Khan. Rather than respond tit-for-tat with India militarily, he took a nicer approach. Khan released the captured Indian pilot to New Delhi, calling it a "Peace Gesture." Thankfully, India accepted the offer. Hopefully, this is the end of the most recent flare-up between the two enormous, angry and nuclear-weapon-wielding South Asian nations.

How did things get so testy? It all began back on February 14th, in Kashmir. No...not the ten-minute long Led Zeppelin song...the scenic and disputed Himalayan region. That's the day when a suicide bomber struck an Indian Paramilitary building. Forty soldiers were killed, making it the deadliest attack on the subcontinent in 30 years. Islamist group Jaish-e-Mohammad claimed responsibility. This infuriated New Delhi, who have long claimed Pakistan provides safe-haven for the terrorist group.

On Monday, the Indian Air Force was ordered to take the offensive. They launched an air-strike to take out a suspected Jaish-e-Mohammad training camp in Pakistani-controlled Kashmir. This action was a blatant violation of the sacred Line of Control that separates the two unruly nations. Soon afterward, the clunky MiG-21 fighter (often called the 'Flying Coffin') was shot down by the Pakistani Air Force. Miraculously, the pilot survived by parachuting from the flying fireball...just like James Bond.

Unfortunately for Wing Commander Abhinandan Varthaman, when he parachuted into enemy territory it was nothing like a Bond movie. Instead of meeting a veiled swimsuit model, he was instantly captured by an angry mob. They likely would have killed him, but the Pakistani army came and broke things up. For the last week, he's been the face of the conflict, as media speculated about his condition. That was all cleared up yesterday when Varthaman, wearing a blue sport coat and a white unbuttoned shirt, strolled out of the checkpoint at 9:20 local time. Indian PM Modi called him "brave."

It's quite a fun tale, but also a sad reminder of a 1,000 year-old conflict that won't go away. The names of the nations change over the years, but it all comes down to religion: The Hindus vs. The Muslims. Generation after generation is raised to dislike the neighboring nation. Bollywood beauty Priyanka Chopra tweeted "Jai Hind!" in support of the Indian Armed Forces. She was soon reprimanded by Pakistani actress Armeena Khan. "She glorifies war!" she angrily tweeted. See? Even 30-something actresses have strong opinions when it comes to Indo-Pak relations.

FEB 23 CHINA CLOSES TIBET TO FOREIGNERS FOR TWO MONTHS

FEB 23  CHINA CLOSES TIBET TO FOREIGNERS FOR TWO MONTHS

Here's a story you might have missed: The People's Republic of China has officially closed the entire province of Tibet to foreigners for the next two months. The sudden statement has travel agents  scrambling to reschedule tours. Indeed, the move is contrary to China's new "Welcome Mat" toward tourists. Sadly, it's not the tourists the PRC wants to ban. It's the journalists that are the problem. Tourists just get included in the broad category known as 'foreigners.'

Why the hush-hush? It turns out that March 10th, 2019 is the 60th anniversary of the Tibetan Uprising. Way back in 1959, after nine years of Chinese occupation, protests escalated in Lhasa. For four days and nights, Tibetan people attacked Chinese citizens, killing 18. Beijing's response was swift and brutal, resulting in the exile of the Dalai Lama, the spiritual leader of Tibet. The stately Portola Palace has been vacant ever since. Every year, the people protest on these dates, but since this is a big anniversary, the PRC is shutting everything down and moving in the troops.

China's long history with neighboring Tibet has always been contentious. Dynasty after dynasty...from the Qin to the Ming... have launched military expeditions in hopes of conquering Tibet. However, controlling a land's politics is very different from controlling a land's culture. Tibetans continue to speak Tibetan. They continue to see the Dalai Lama as their leader. Nonetheless, the PRC continues its quest to Mandarin-ize its 25th province. Schools are banned from teaching the cool-looking Tibetan alphabet.

Perhaps the biggest incursion from Beijing into Tibet came in the year 2006. That's when the Qinghai Railway opened for service. It replaced Peru's La Galera as the highest-altitude rail line in the world, at a staggering 15,500 feet above sea level. More importantly, the Qinghai Railway greatly increased the accessibility of Tibet to the rest of China. On days like May 10th, the tourists and businessmen are replaced by soldiers.

The real issue is: Why does Beijing continue to punish Tibet for valuing their own unique culture? Do they really think that 2019 will be they year when Tibetans suddenly capitulate after 2,000 years of conflict? Even Genghis Khan couldn't change Tibet, so why does President Xi think he can? The People's Republic of Chinas needs to learn how to accept the other cultures that exist within their enormous borders. There is no place for Xenophobia in the world today...even in its most remote regions! 

FEB 16 CONFESSION IN SWEDEN'S CROWN JEWEL HEIST

FEB 16  CONFESSION IN SWEDEN'S CROWN JEWEL HEIST

Big news from Stockholm! Swedish broadcaster SVT reported Thursday that a 22 year-old male has confessed to the crime of century: The Crown Jewel Heist. Special prosecutor Isabelle Bjursten proudly announced that the defendant had boldly stated: "I am the one who committed the theft." Although he has yet to identify his accomplices, Isabelle is confident all three thieves will be brought to justice soon.

It's been six months since the brazen robbery occurred in Strangnas, a town of 30,000 people west of the capital. The small town is home to an eight-hundred year old cathedral which housed some of the Royal family's lesser-known treasures: Two jewel encrusted funeral crowns made for King Karl IX's funeral in 1611. Also displayed was a solid-gold orb for Queen Kristina's funeral a dozen years later. Although most of the Swedish family crown jewels are in the Royal Palace in Stockholm, a couple items are housed in other historically important places like Strangnas.

Anyhow, last August three men pulled of a heist that grabbed headlines worldwide. They simply walked into the cathedral, and calmly smashed the glass case. Naturally, the alarm sounded, but the slow priests on duty were no match for the young men who hurried outside. Waiting for them were three bikes. They tossed the crowns and orbs into the baskets and sped away to nearby Lake Malaren. Ditching the cycles on the shore, they bounded into an awaiting speedboat. It's nearly impossible to find one boat on Sweden's third largest lake. Frustrated local authorities turned to Interpol for help.

While this sounds like something out of the classic movie The Italian Job, it turned out to be a bit more like Dog Day Afternoon. See, it's really hard to sell an priceless artifact after it has been shown on the international news. Months passed, and the anxious crooks must have questioned why they stole the crown and orb in the first place. That's the only reason we can figure out why all three items were found in a trash can in an alley in a Stockholm suburb last week. Naturally, police saved the blood samples from the scene of the crime. (Glass is sharp!) and when they matched a suspect, the confession was sealed.

Bravo! It's always refreshing when the Good Guys win. However, we here at the DUNER BLOG would like to remind all readers who work at museums: Never let the lull of day-to-day, month-to-month, year-to-year monotony of your job get to you. Your important work requires you to guard priceless artifacts. Even in a remote place like Stragnas, Sweden, there will always be people dumb enough to think swiping and stealing are the key to success. So stay awake!