OCT 29 MISS UNIVERSE PAGENT WROUGHT WITH CONTROVERSIES

OCT 29 MISS UNIVERSE PAGEANT WROUGHT WITH CONTROVERSIES

It's an exciting week in Moscow, readers!!  The Miss Universe Beauty Pageant is in town!!  That means lots of lovely ladies...fancy evening gowns...pushy photographers and...tons of controversy!  In fact, there's so much hulla-baloo for this event, we here at the DUNER BLOG had to narrow it down to five items.  Here we go...

THE GAY HOST.  By far, the most talked about aspect of the Miss Universe Pageant involves Russia's recent anti-gay legislation.  This is bad news for co-host Thomas Rogers.  The little-known talk show host is openly gay.  Yet, he decided to "embrace dialogue" rather than boycott, like many of his peers.  Also, it's probably the only chance a small-time MSNBC reporter like Tom is going to get to make it big and get mentioned in high-profile news sources like the DUNER BLOG.



Miss Kosovo is banned!

THE VISA SNAFU.  Kosovo's entry, Mirjeta Shala is gorgeous.  Unfortunately, she will not be participating in this year's event.  Why?  Because the government of Russia does not recognize the sovereignty of the  nation of Kosovo.  Kosovans can only enter Russia with an Albanian or Serbian passport.  When Miss Kosovo refused to comply, her entry into the competition was terminated by authorities.  It's really a shame that someone so elegant is out of the running, just because Putin is buddy-buddy with Serbia. 

THE DISRESPECTFUL PHOTO SHOOT.  The reigning Miss Universe is Olivia Culpo.  As Queen, she has had a busy year of assignments and official visits.  For example: Last week, Miss Universe went to India.  First, she toured the notorious Tinar Jail in Old Delhi with local charities.  Later, she went to the Taj Mahal for a photo shoot.  Although covered from head-to-toe in compliance with Islamic dress codes, she did commit a major error:  She lifted her dress to display her shoes.  A police report has been filed in Agra to deal with the obscenity. 



Miss Myanmar is lovely.

THE NEWBIE & THE DICTATOR.  While some nations are banned from the event, others are attending for the first time.  Meet Miss Myanmar.  The last time Burma participated in the pageant was 1962.  Fifty years of military dictatorships is gone!  The champion is Moe Set Wine ( her real name).  She feels "like a soldier that is doing something for my country and people."  Unfortunately, she might reconsider returning home.  Prior to leaving Rangoon, she attended an event hosted by Nay Shew Thway Aung...the Grandson of a former Dictator Tham Shew.  This angered the current junta leaders.  Oops! 

Miss Australia is tall!!

THE SWIMSUIT CONTROVERSY.  As always, the event comes down to who looks best in a bathing suit.  As everyone knows, the ladies who wear one-piece outfits always lose to the bikinis.  That said, let's see who Las Vegas thinks will win this year.  Miss Philippines is the odds-on favorite at 5-1.   One look at her photo and you'll know why.  Miss Panama follows next at 7-1.  She's a good bet, as ladies from the Southern Caribbean have won more titles than any from other region.  Erin Brady of the US is third at 8-1.  Her 77,664 Twitter fans are a boost.  The hometown favorite, Miss Russia is next at 11-1.  Finally...we here at the DUNER BLOG like the fifth place hopeful, Miss Australia.  As the tallest entrant, she will look down on the rest of the competition.

OCT 22 MOROCCANS STAGE 'KISS-IN' TO SUPPORT PUBLIC AFFECTION

OCT 22 MOROCCANS STAGE 'KISS-IN' TO SUPPORT PUBLIC AFFECTION

In the 1950's, there was a popular Frankie Avalon song.  The chorus crooned: "Why must I be a teenager in love?"  It's corny, but true. Eventually, all kids start becoming amorous with each other.  It becomes an issue when they start expressing it.  Weather it's Annette Funicello with Frankie Avalon or teen idols Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears secretly dating each other, teenagers in love always sparks seems to spark some controversy.

It's time to jump back to the present.  This time, the two teenagers in love are age 14 and 15 from Nador, a small Northern town.  These two have a real bad case of puppy love, just like Frankie and Annette.  However, the year is 2013, not 1956.  Kids today don't trade skate-keys or exchange class rings anymore.  Nope, today's world is online.  Our two sweethearts posted a picture of themselves kissing on Facebook.  Wow!  That's a pretty serious commitment these days!

Anyhow, posting cute pictures on Facebook shouldn't really be a problem.  Unless...of course...you live in the Kingdom of Morocco.  When other Arab nations embraced last year's Arab Spring and took a chance at modernizing their societies, Moroccans instead took a step backwards. Elections in 2012 were decidedly won by the Islamic Justice Party.  This meant social laws are strictly enforced and our two teens were arrested last week.  They were charged with “violating public decency" as stated in Articles 483 and 484 in the Royal Penal Code.

Well, people in the magic kingdom of mint tea and hashish are coming out in droves in online support of their Arab Romeo and Juliet.  Things got even more serious last Saturday, when the nation's first ever KISS-IN occurred outside Parliament in the capital Rabat. Talk about racy!  As expected the anti-kissing contingency showed up as well.  Naturally, a brief scuffle ensued.  "Kissing in public is forbidden. A simple kiss can lead to other things. These are atheists who are acting against Islam,” proclaimed a jerk who has never been kissed. 

Unfortunately, it was hardly...you know...like... romantic.  While two thousand online folks said they would attend, only two dozen couples actually got enough courage together to smooch. It's hard to get cozy in front of police, journalists and pushy photographers.  Nonetheless, we here at the DUNER BLOG salute their devotion and their statement.  “Our message is that we are defending love, the freedom to love and kiss freely,” said one participant, Nizar Benamate.  Long Live Love!

OCT 16 CARGO SHIP BECOMES FIRST TO SAIL NORTHWEST PASSAGE

OCT 16 CARGO SHIP BECOMES FIRST TO SAIL NORTHWEST PASSAGE

Last week, a ship called the Nordic Orion accomplished what dozens of Europeans explorers have been attempting to do for 500 years.  The Danish-owned cargo ship sailed the elusive Northwest Passage above North America, thus connecting the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans.  It was a bit dangerous around Baffin Island, where the cargo ship passed hull after hull of wrecked and frozen three-masted schooners from previous, failed expeditions.

Okay...we here at the DUNER BLOG made that last part up.  But we did so the make a point.  People have been trying to sail through the treacherous Northwest Passage for a long, long time.  From Henry Hudson in the 1500's to George Vancouver in the 1800's, many sailors have tried and/or died in vain.   But don't feel bad about John Cabot or Captain Cook.  The Nordic Orion's accomplishment last week has nothing to do with exploration and everything to do with Global Warming.

While people in the lower latitudes debate whether or not the Arctic Ice Shield is shrinking, people like Edward Coll think differently.  They know it is occurring.  As the CEO of Bulk Partners, (the owners of the famed cargo ship) Coll wanted to make history as well as save money.  Let's check out the stats.  The 73,500-ton load of coal traveled from Vancouver to Finland.  The shortcut through the Arctic Ocean shaved 1,500 nautical miles...about five days...off the voyage.  This meant a savings of nearly $200,000 in costs.  In addition, the ship was able to carry about 25 percent more coal since the depth of the Panama Canal is too shallow for such a heavy load.

But don't count on any fleets of cargo ships passing by Baffin Island anytime soon.  There are many, many complex issues and problems with making the Northwest Passage a heavily traveled route.  First of all, there is not a single port along the route.  If a ship has a mechanical failure, they are likely to meet the same fate as Henry Hudson.  (He was frozen alive.)  Environmentalists will remind us about the Selendang Ayu.  This Malaysian cargo ship lost power in 2004 and crashed on the Aleutian Islands, causing extensive damage.  Not to mention the touchy subject of Arctic sovereignty...

Rest assured, as long as there is a profit to be made, the Northwest Passage will become a viable shipping route in years to come.  However, the real winner in this whole debate, is the Arctic Ocean itself.  Always in the shadow of his bigger brothers, Pacific, Atlantic and Indian, life has been tough on the forgotten body of water.  It's true, the Arctic Ocean fails to appear on most maps.  Heck, neglected Arctic Ocean isn't even included in the Seven Seas!  Well, friends, those days will soon be over.  In  twenty years...when 15% more ice melts...the Arctic Ocean coastline will be dramatically different.  It will be dotted with thriving ports, cruise ships, and ...of course... a Hard Rock Café!  Just you wait...

OCT 8 NEW DAM ON MEKONG RIVER RIDDLED WITH PROBLEMS

OCT 8 NEW DAM ON MEKONG RIVER RIDDLED WITH PROBLEMS

Construction is underway in Laos on the Xayaburi Dam.  Laotian villagers watched in amazement. Hulking, immense Caterpillar Bulldozers leveled the once flourishing riverbanks.  It's true, nothing of this size has ever been built in the remote Southeast Asian nation.  As expected, Laotian Prime Minister Thongsing Thammavong was on hand for the opening ceremonies.  What a proud day!

Let's look at the numbers for the Xayaburi Dam.  The first dam ever constructed over the Lower Mekong River will cost $3.5 billion to complete.  Once built, it will produce 1,300 megawatts of energy.  (We here at the DUNER BLOG don't know what that means, but it sounds impressive!).  The face of the dam will be 32.6 meters (107 ft) high.  It needs to be 820 meters (2,690 ft) wide, as the Mekong is the 12th biggest river in the world.  In short, this is one massive project!

You're probably asking yourself: "What does tiny, poor Laos want a huge dam for?"  Good question.  The truth is: Laos doesn't need 1,300 Megawatts of power.  But neighboring Thailand sure does.  In fact a staggering 92% of the power produced by the Xayaburi Dam will go directly to Bangkok.  It's also funded by these same interests: The $4 billion is all organized by Thailand's four largest banks.

Your next question is: "Aren't environmentalists angry about damming the world's 12th longest river?" Another good question.  It turns out the World Wildlife Federation is highly skeptical of the "fish friendly turbines" championed by Poyry Engery Coorporation.  These babies had better work.  Around sixty million people upstream from the dam rely on the Mekong River for their food.  Unfortunately, this a very rural section of Asia, and these mountain folk are not exactly represented in any Congress.   Jian-Hua Meng, a WWF spokesman puts it more bluntly: "They are playing Russian Roulette with millions of people's lives.  This dam would not be acceptable in Europe, so why is it different in Asia?"  Another great question.

The reason why countries like Laos can get away with selling power to Thailand at the expense of their own people is simple: The Laotian military dictators in charge operate under the guise of being a 'Communist' nation.  This means they are somehow immune to international rules and regulations.  Other nations in this category include North Korea, Cuba and Burma.  These nations pretend to rule under a vague...yet highly moral...ideology.  Sadly, in reality, Presidents like Laos' Thammavong are just selfish despots who pocket money at the expense of their own people.  Such leaders have no place in our world in the year 2013.

OCT 1 ARTHUR'S DAY CELEBRATIONS IN IRELAND SPARK DEBATE

OCT 1  ARTHUR'S DAY CELEBRATIONS IN IRELAND SPARK DEBATE

We here at the DUNER BLOG just love new holidays.  Naturally, we spent last Thursday celebrating ARTHUR'S DAY.  Never heard of ARTHUR'S DAY?  This fete celebrates the birth date of Arthur Guinness in 1725.  To celebrate Ireland's (non) official national beverage, surprise concerts organized by the brewery take place in 815 pubs across the Emerald Isle.  And your first pint of Guinness is free.

"It's my favorite night of the year!" exclaimed David Doolan, 28, of Dublin.  "A musical treasure hunt." He's right.  The list of artists is quite impressive and varied.   Rock bands like Mumford & Sons, Snow Patrol and OK Go! take over tiny taverns for intimate concerts.  Down the road, dance mavericks like The Sugababes, Calvin Harris and Kelis turn a relaxed Pub into a loud Club.   Dude.  It's the the Coachella and Reading Festivals rolled into one!  What's not to love?

Plenty!  In fact, this year's ARTHUR'S DAY celebrations were met with a wave of protest nationwide.  See, many Irish citizens are tired of the drunkard stereotype of their culture.  Unfortunately, the corresponding statistics are not pretty.  Households in Ireland spend 8% of their income on booze. (They spend only 4% on clothing.)  Annually, the tiny Irish economy loses $5 billion in sick leave / hangover losses.  Ireland leads all European nations in cirrhosis / liver-related deaths.  Yikes!

However, after further research, we here at the DUNER BLOG have determined the real reason behind the ARTHUR'S DAY resentment.  A decade ago, the privately-owned Guinness Brewery was purchased by the huge, London-based beverage corporation Diageo.  Since the takeover, the marketing of the world's best selling stout has exploded.  There are now Guinness TV commercials, radio spots and billboards. ARTHUR'S DAY is another example.  The Irish Times called it a "pseudo-national holiday" to sell more beer.  No wonder people are mad!  It turns out, this holiday is a English gimmick, not an Irish tradition.

While both sides of the ARTHUR'S DAY debate have their merit, we here at the DUNER BLOG feel the real victim here is Mr. Arthur Guinness himself.  He was a great man who started with next to nothing and built the world's largest brewery.  He cared little about Irish / English hostility, nor did he know about modern day marketing gimmicks or statistics regarding alcoholism.  In fact, he was a great philanthropist who was honored by the Irish Government.  To demonstrate their respect, the lease for the St. James Guinness Brewery is for 10,000 years!  Let's not drag this great man's legend through the mud...

SEPT 25 WHO HAS THE MOST #1 SONGS OF ALL TIME?

SEPT 25 WHO HAS THE MOST #1 SONGS OF ALL TIME?

Last week, KATY PERRY notched her eighth #1 song when 'ROAR' topped the Billboard Singles chart.  This event set off a wave of debate at the DUNER BLOG.  Who has the most #1 songs of all time?  Is Katy close?  We conducted research.  It turns out she is #12 on the list.  Here is the Top Ten:

#1. BEATLES: 20 #1's Hopefully, the Fab Four will always top this list.  Their first #1 was "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" in 1964.  Their last was "The Long & Winding Road" in 1970.  To Pop Music fans, all their #1 songs are sacred.  While other bands have scored numerous but forgettable #1 hits, the average person can sing all twenty of the Beatles' songs.  NOTE: Paul McCartney has nine #1 hits with Wings and solo artist.

#2.  ELVIS: 18 #1's  The King was dethroned on this list by the Fab Four in 1968.  Like the Beatles, Elvis songs are an integral part of Americana.  For example, every kid starts singing "You Ain't Nothing But a Hound Dog" to the family pooch at age four.  Elvis worship then continues throughout the adult life.  NOTE: Even after death, Elvis came close to notching a posthumous #1 when a re-mix of "A Little Less Conversation" hit #4 in 2007.

#2.  MARIAH CAREY: 18 #1's  On thing is for certain: This songbird knows how to make a smash record.  An amazing 72% of her Top Ten hits go to #1.  They also stay there.  Her total of 79 weeks at #1 is more than anyone else.  NOTE:  This ranking has not gone to her head.  Said the Diva: "Elvis and the Beatles changed the world.  The Pop Music Industry is different today."

#3. MICHAEL JACKSON: 13 #1's  The King of Pop deserves his title.  In addition to his chart-toppers, MJ also has three dozen Top 10 hits.  He also wrote numerous #1s for other artists and has five additional #1 hits with the Jackson 5.  

#4. MADONNA: 12 #1's  Love her or hate her, MADONNA is a survivor.  While the Beatles crammed their 20 #1's into seven short years (3.1 #1's per year), the Material Girl is quite the opposite.  Her dozen top hits are spread out over nearly thirty years (0.4 #1's per year).  NOTE: Her full name is Madonna Louise Ciccone.

#4. SUPREMES:  12 #1's  While Martin Luther King gets much of the credit for the 1960's Civil Rights Movement, we here at the DUNER BLOG beg to differ.  We thank Diana, Florence and Mary for our racial equity.  These gals were talented elegant, sophisticated.  Oh yeah!  They happened to be black as well.  NOTE: Diana Ross had six more #1's as a solo artist.

#6.  WHITNEY HOUSTON:  11 #1's  When Whitney died last year, many people felt there were too many tributes and eulogies.  "Was she really that great?" they asked.  Being #6 on this list answers that question. 

#8.  STEVIE WONDER:  10 #1's  Little Stevie Wonder still holds the record for the youngest person ever to top the Pop Charts.  He was only 12 years old when 'Fingertips' went to #1 in 1962.  In addition, this musical genius has 10 Top Ten Albums and 22 Grammy Awards.

#8.  JANET JACKSON: 10 #1's   When people think of JANET JACKSON, they think of a very spiky nipple ring at the Super Bowl Halftime concert.  However, Michael's kid sister is much more than that.  She's sold 100 million albums worldwide. 

#10.  BEE GEES:  9 #1's  Many people forget just how large Disco's impact on humankind really was.  We here at the DUNER BLOG have not.  For us, the Disco Revolution was a spiritual rebirth of the mind, body and the Electric Slide.  NOTE: The Brothers Gibb also wrote four #1 songs for other artists, including Dolly Parton, Frankie Valli and kid brother Andy.

#10. ELTON JOHN: 9 #1's  This conversation took place in 1974: John Lennon: 'Elton, you're so big right now, if you sung an old Beatles song, I bet you it would go to #1.' Elton John: 'You're on!  How about I record Lucy & the Sky With Diamonds?' Guess what?  John Lennon won the bet.  The cover was Elton John's third #1 hit of 1974. 

SEPT 17 STORK ARRESTED IN EGYPT FOR ESPIONAGE

SEPT 17  STORK ARRESTED IN EGYPT FOR ESPIONAGE

First of all, we'd like to give a big THANK YOU to our loyal readers who wrote to the DUNER BLOG, begging us to cover this story.  It's true: This news item is TAYLOR MADE for us... 

It all began on a hot desert afternoon in the south of Egypt.  A man was strolling the banks of the River Nile.  He gazed idly at a flock of white storks, drinking and feeding in the water.  Suddenly, he noticed something strange:  One of the storks had a device strapped to its back!! Next, the suspicious man got on all fours and began pursuing the three foot-high winged creature.  Waiting, waiting, for just the right opportunity...the spry Egyptian lunged at the stork.  Gotcha! 



Menes the Pharaoh

The surprised bird made a desperate attempt to escape, but it was too late.  With some rope around his beak and legs, Menes (the name of this particular White Stork) was taken to the local police station for questioning. As expected, the stork did not answer any of the inspector's questions.  'What is this device on your leg?'  'Who sent you?' 'Where are you going?'  Nope, Menes just sat there, with a glazed look on his face.  He wasn't talking.  Unfortunately for Menes, they don't have trials in Egypt.  The innocent stork was instantly thrown in the slammer.  There, depressed bird sat, next to petty thieves and drug dealers.  His crime?  Espionage.  The evidence is attached to his back.

Fortunately, an inspector arrived from nearby Aswan.  He was able to translate the writing on the tracking devise: Property of U.K. Nature Conservancy.  He called the number and revealed Menes' true identity.  It turns out he was not carrying any secret messages for the US, Iran or even SPECTRE.  Nope, it turns out the stork was simply migrating.  While it's easy to laugh at the  assumption that a bird can be a spy, we must remember: The average Egyptian has only heard Mubarak/Morsi propaganda in the "news" for the last 20 years.  No wonder they assumed Menes was actually an evil alien planning to steal the Sphinx!

Unfortunately, the story of Menes does not have a happy ending.  Our stork was turned over to wildlife officials who released him into a nature reserve.  Menes flew straight back to a small island in the Nile.  There, he was captured by humans for a third time.  Only this time he wasn't caught by a Brit nor was it done by an Egyptian.  This time, Menes was caught by Nubian hunter, who ate the stork for dinner.  Meanwhile, the Nature Conservancy was by no means surprised.  Their statement: "We truly are saddened by the tragic end to Menes' journey, but once again, we would like to thank the park rangers of Aswan for their excellent initial efforts to get Menes the White Stork released safely."