DEC 20 KIM JONG IL: MYTHS & FACTS

DEC 20 KIM JONG IL: MYTHS &FACTS

Wow! 2011 has been a most difficult year for tyrants.  First HOSNI MUBARBAK goes down in Egypt. Then MOAMMAR GADDAFI is killed. And now...the craziest dictator of them all...KIM JONG IL...is dead!  To celebrate the end of terror, we here at the DUNER BLOG would like to set the record straight about some of the North Korean's "legendary achievements" and do some serious Myth-busting!  Here are the top five:

#1 His legendary birth.  
MYTH:  It all began on a chilly February day in the year 1942.  Inside the walls of a simple log cabin...on the windswept hills of sacred Mount Paektu...a miracle occurred: The "Glorious General Descended from Heaven!"  A new star appeared in the sky, followed by a double rainbow, followed by a sacred swallow...who brought spring to North Korea two months early.
FACT:  The truth is our "Dear Leader" wasn't even born in Korea.  His father, KIM IL-SUNG, was living in Khabarovsk, Siberia at the time.  He was plotting with the Soviet Army to overthrow the Japanese occupation of Asia during World War II. 

#2 His ability to control the weather.
MYTH:  Of all of KIM JONG IL's amazing talents, this one is the best...because no one else on earth can do this.  Our "Dear Leader" controls the weather with his moods .  If he's angry, expect a violent snowstorm.  Sadness brings rain; melancholy moods warrant fog.  Expect sunshine when his shipments of caviar and cognac arrive. (KIM JONG IL spent $750,000 on Hennesey each year!)
FACT: We here at the DUNER-BLOG have a meteorologist on staff.  He confirmed: It is scientifically impossible to control the weather by your thoughts.

#3 His legendary golf game.  
MYTH: It's a shame he never competed in any PGA events...because the 'Dear Leader' had mad golf skills.  When the first ever course opened in Pyongyang in 1994, KIM JONG IL naturally played the first ever round.  His score was 38 under par!  This included a whopping five holes-in-one.  All 17 bodyguards signed oaths attesting to the feat.
FACT: We consulted the Guinness World Records.  The lowest golf score ever is 55.  It was achieved by HOMERO BLANCOS in 1962.  To beat this by 18 strokes is impossible.

#4 He invented the hamburger
MYTH: In addition to being head of the armed forces, KIM JONG IL is also the "Highest Incarnation of Revolutionary Comradely Love."  To show this devotion, our "Dear Leader" toiled day and night to come up with a wonderful, new dish for all to eat and enjoy.  His "discovery," was called a "Double Bread with Meat" sandwich. They were cleverly packaged in paper bags for easy purchase.
FACT: Pyongyang restaurants first served this "new" delicacy in the year 2004.  If you have ever eaten a hamburger prior to this year, you can de-bunk this myth yourself!

#5 He doesn't need to urinate or defecate.
FACT:  The North Korean State Media removed this legend from their website years ago.  But we still had to include it in the list!   Let's face it...even an "Ever-Victorious, Iron-Willed Commander" has to go to the bathroom!

DEC 14 AMERICAN MAN JAILED FOR INSULTING THAI KING

DEC 14 AMERICAN MAN JAILED FOR INSULTING THAI KING

Psst.  Are you planning a trip to Thailand?  Here's some good advice: Don't say anything negative about the Thai King.  Why?  Because it's against the law.  Thai officials will arrest you up, give you a sham trial and then lock you up!  Don't believe me?  Then ask JOE GORDON.  He helped translate the banned biography "The King Never Smiles."  On Thursday, he was convicted in a Bangkok court and sentenced to two-and-a-half years in prison.  And...no...it doesn't matter if you're a Thai citizen, an American citizen or a visitor from Mars.  Say anything that "defames, insults, threatens, or is unflattering to the King" and you'll end up in jail. 

Psst.  Wanna impress someone from Thailand?  Here's some good advice:  Mention some random facts about King Rama IX.  You'll have a Thai friend for life.  Okay, it's hard to pronounce his real name (Bhunibol Adulyadej), so let's try these tidbits instead.  With 65 years on the throne, King Rama has the longest reign of any current monarch worldwide.  The King speaks three languages: Thai, French and English.  He is blind in his right eye after a car crash in Switzerland.  He holds a patent for a sprinkler design, composes jazz music and keeps two loaded pistols in his nightstand.  Finally, if your acquaintance is older, talk about how the King kept Thailand out of the Vietnam War.

Psst. Wanna know what not to talk about with folks from Thailand?  King Rama IX's wealth.  The anti-monarchists are furious about it and the conservatives are embarrassed by it.  Here are the facts: The Thai King is the richest royal on the planet.  Forbes estimates his wealth at $35 billion.  That bests Queen Elizabeth ($30 billion), the Sultan of Brunei ($20 billion) and the Saudi King Abdullah ($18 billion).  Rama owns three private jets including a Boeing 737 and an Airbus A319.  But the King is most proud of his crown jewels.  In fact, he owns the largest faceted diamond in the world.  The GOLDEN JUBILEE diamond has an amazing 545 carats!

Pssst. Are you planning to eat at a Thai restaurant soon?  Here's some good advice: Make sure there's a framed photo of the Thai King hanging on the wall.  Why?  Because everyone in Thailand worships the monarch and has pictures of him everywhere  So...if you want to know for sure the owners of the restaurant are from Thailand...look on the walls for that framed picture.  That way your meal will always be authentic and yummy!  You see, all other Asian nations (except Japan) have been colonized by a European power.  The kings and emperors of Laos, China, Burma, Korea...have all been long disposed and replaced by boring prime ministers.  But not in Thailand!  Here...and in Thai restaurants worldwide...the King still reigns supreme.

Psst. Wanna know how to annoy the crap out of your readers?  Begin five paragraphs the same exact way! Sorry about that literary stumble.  Okay...to summarize.  The love of the Thai king runs deep in the heart and minds of Siam.  This would be fine...except for the fact that the king actually believes he is above the law.  He is cool having astronomical wealth while many in his country of 66 million are horribly poor.  The final evidence of King Rama's lunacy is his official title.   As with Gaddafi and Kim Jong Il, King Rama has a ridiculous amount of flowery, descriptive words following his name.  Here it is:  (Thanks...Wikipedia!)

Phra Bat Somdet Phra Poramintharamaha Bhumibol Adulyadej Mahitalathibet Ramathibodi Chakkrinaruebodin Sayamminthrathirat Borommanatbophit

พระบาทสมเด็จพระปรมินทรมหาภูมิพลอดุลยเดช มหิตลาธิเบศรรามาธิบดี จักรีนฤบดินทร สยามินทราธิราช บรมนาถบพิตร

• Phra—a third person pronoun referring to the person with much higher status than the speaker, meaning "excellent" in general. The word is from Sanskrit vara ("excellent").
• Bat—"foot," from Sanskrit pāda.
• Somdet—"lord," from Khmer "samdech" ("excellency").
• Poraminthara—"the great," from Sanskrit parama ("great") +indra ("leader")
• Maha—"great," from Sanskrit,  "maha"
• Bhumibol—"Strength of the Land," from Sanskrit bhumi ("land") +bala ("strength")
• Adulyadej—"Incomparable power," from Sanskrit atulya ("incomparable") +teja ("power")
• Mahitalathibet—"Son of Mahidol"
• Ramathibodi—"Rama," the Avatar of God Vishnu to become the great ruler"; from Sanskrit rama + adhi ("great") + patī ("president")
• Chakkrinaruebodin—"Leader of the People who is from the House of Chakri, from Sanskrit Cakrī + nari ("men") + patī ("president")
• Sayamminthrathirat—"the Great King of Siam," from Sanskrit Siam (former name of Thailand) + indra + ati ("great") + rāja ("king)
• Borommanatbophit— "the Royalty who is the Great Shelter", from Sanskrit parama ("great") + nādha ("the one who others can depend on" or "Power/Right") + "pavitra" ("royalty")

DEC 7 CONGRESS LIFTS BAN ON HORSE MEAT IN THE US

DEC 7 CONGRESS LIFTS BAN ON HORSE MEAT IN THE US

Last Friday, the US Congress passed legislation re-legalizing the slaughter and sale of horse meat in the USA and all territories.  “I find it disgusting,” said Patricia Fazio of Cody, Wyoming, echoing sentiments of most Americans.  In the US, horses are placed in the "pet / companion" group of animals...along with cats, dogs, gerbils and guinea pigs.  And we all know: You don't eat your friends.  So it came a huge surprise to many over the weekend when animal-obsessed PETA announced its "temporary" support for the lifting of the ban.  What?  Has PETA lost its mind?  Hasn't PETA seen horse-themed movies like "National Velvet" and "Seabiscuit"?  Neigh!

We here at the DUNER BLOG were surprised as well...so we did some research.  And it turns out to be a little more complicated than expected.  See...our earliest ancestors ate horses long before riding them.   So it only makes sense to continue eating them ...right?  Anyhow, over time, certain cultures  attached specific 'moral / religious' baggage to each animal with regards to consumption.  For example, Jewish and Islamic cultures won't eat pigs...but Christians and Buddhists are okay with it.  Horses are one of the animals that humans can't agree on...it's fine to eat them in other countries but not in the USA.

Believe it or not...one major proponent of eating horse meat is celebrity TV-chef GORDON RAMSAY.  The Scot says we are "too sensitive" in the UK and USA towards horse meat consumption.  To force the issue, he serves it in his restaurants and receives much discord.  Gordon says it's low in fat and more tender than beef.  Yuck!  Hasn't Gordon seen movies like "Black Beauty" and "My Friend Flicka"?  You can't eat Mr. Ed!  Sorry...but he does have a point.  Around the world, horse meat is prepared in numerous delicious ways.  Here are the top eight consumers of horse meat worldwide:


1. China          2. Mexico            3. Mongolia            4. Kazakhstan
5. Italy            6. Argentina         7. Brazil                 8. Kyrgyzstan

Anyhow, despite its popularity overseas, its highly unlikely that horse meat will be accepted by American society anytime soon.  However, let's agree that eating horses in other countries is acceptable moral behavior.  This means other nations want to purchase American horse meat...and they're willing to pay $20 a pound.  So, during the ban on horse meat, many Americans sold horses illegally to the black market.  They were then smuggled into Mexico and slaughtered for a profit.  PETA felt this practice was much less humane than allowing horses to be slaughtered in the US...and hence gave tepid approval for the measure.   In a statement PETA said horses endure "more suffering on a frightening, long, and miserable journey to Canada or Mexico" than being killed in a regulated, inspected slaughterhouse in the USA.

But don't worry...they're won't be a 'Secretariat Special' at Burger King anytime soon.  So far, there are only a handful of horse slaughterhouses in the nation who want to open up: Two in Wyoming and one in Montana.  One such company, United Equine, plans to sell most of their meat to a distributor in France.  Finally, one easy way to can tell which animals are acceptable to eat...in any language...is to see if they have two separate words, one for the animal and one for the food.  For example, 'cow' becomes 'beef,' 'pig' becomes 'pork' and 'baby calves' are turned into 'veal.'  There is no word in English language for prepared horse.

NOV 29 DARING ESCAPE FROM MEXICAN PRISON THWARTED

Six sunburned prisoners going back to jail.

NOV 29 DARING ESCAPE FROM MEXICAN PRISON THWARTED

Didja know the DUNER BLOG has a slogan?  Yep! "Keeping You Informed on Stories You Might Have Missed."  We're reminding you because this week we have a goodie...a daring escape from a Mexican prison.  It all began on a dank, humid night at Islas Marias...the only remaining operating island penal colony in the Western Hemisphere.  Six determined prisoners hastily launched their craft of wood planks and empty plastic water containers into the Pacific Ocean and set sail for freedom.  All went well until the six compadres were spotted by a fishing ship 100 miles down the coast.  The captain quickly notified the Mexican Navy.  The men were sunburned but in good health and were returned..."within hours"...to the prison.

Anyhow, it seems everyone worldwide has a fascination with 'island prisons' and the curious situations they inevitably bring.  So were here at the DUNER BLOG decided to list our TOP TEN ISLAND PENAL COLONIES OF ALL TIME:

#10 ISLAS MARIAS, MEXICO.  Since its founding in 1902, Mexico's most hardened criminals have been dispatched here.  Since it's 100 miles to the shore, few have attempted to escape.  Those who do have all been captured.  So...unless Mexico solves its drug problems soon...it will remain open for a long time!

# 9 EBLA, ITALY.  This gorgeous island off the coast of Tuscany served as the site of Napoleon's exile.  While the island is no longer a prison and the French emperor is still dead...the two will be forever linked. NOTE: It was hardly a prison to begin with.  Monsieur Bonaparte was allowed six hundred servants.

#8 RIKER'S ISLAND, NEW YORK.  Although NYPD will tell you this is a jail and not a prison we here at the DUNER BLOG must include it on our list.  You simply can't watch and episode of LAW & ORDER without hearing it mentioned a dozen times.

Today, it's fun to visit Chateau D'If.

#7 CHATEAU D'IF, FRANCE.  Situated on a small island in Marseilles Harbor, this prison terrorized criminals for centuries.  Although the cells were mostly filled with evil French Huguenots, its most famous innate was actually fictional.  EDMOND DANTES, from the Dumas novel THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO, was sent here.

#6  COIBA ISLAND, PANAMA.  This large tropical island had very little security...because it doesn't need it!  See, the thick jungles on the island are crawling with poisonous snakes.   The sea surrounding the island is horribly shark infested.  No need for any fences here!

#5 ROBBEN ISLAND, SOUTH AFRICA. Dutch for 'Seal Island,' it's located a mere seven miles of the coast of Cape Town.  It's always been a destination for the unwanted: contagious lepers, mentally-ill Boers, fundamentalist Muslims and zealous Zulus have all been detained here.  Today, it's a museum with a large exhibit dedicated to its most famous inmate: NELSON MANDELA.

#4 GOREE ISLAND, SENEGAL. A short boat ride from Dakar lies this tiny, but historically important, island.  Think of it as the opposite of Ellis Island...it's where three million slaves were held before being loaded on ships.  The ominous 'Door of No Return' has been visited by two US Presidents (Clinton and Bush) and was recently declared a UNESCO Heritage Site.

Devil's island looks scenic, but,,,

#3 DEVIL'S ISLAND, GUYANA.  This is the most dreadful prison in the history of humankind.  Not only was it located in the most remote place on earth, but it also infested with filthy rodents...It's estimated half of the 100,000 inmates died from disease.   The one successful escape attempt is documented in the book / movie 'Papillon.'

#2 ALCATRAZ, SAN FRANCISCO.  Originally an Arabic word (al qatras) for 'sea eagle,' San Francisco Bay's most strategic island has always been a lighthouse.  In 1850, President Fillmore signed legislation making it a military base as well.  After the 1906 fire and earthquake, inmates were sent there and a year later it was made a prison. 

#1 AUSTRALIA.  C'mon!  You knew it had to be the land 'Down Under!'  When the USA gained independence from England, Parliament needed to find a new place to send unwanted jailbirds and religious rejects...Hello Australia!  The first ship containing 778 convicts arrived on January 26th, 1788.  Today, this date is called 'Australia Day' and is the nation's major holiday.

NOV 22 NBA STRIKE HURTS SMALL BUSINESS...ESPECIALLY PROSTITUTION

NOV 22 NBA STRIKE HURTS SMALL BUSINESS...ESPECIALLY PROSTITUTION

A surprising interview occurred last week in Midtown Manhattan.  A man...who would only identify himself as "Henry"...spoke with a reporter from CNBC.  What was all the hush-hush about?  Okay...it seems "Henry" is a pimp who has fallen on hard times.  You see, his best clients are NBA stars who want a little Overtime fun after playing basketball at MADISON SQUARE GARDEN.  Anyhow, "Henry" charges from $400 to $4,000 a night...depending on the hot-ness factor of the hottie. Thanks to the NBA lockout, he has seen his steady income vanish.  Having read lots of articles about how other "small businesses" had been effected by the NBA lockout, "Henry" empathized with them and wanted America to know his story too!  (Pimps have feelings too.)

Sorry!  For those confused DUNER-BLOG readers outside the US, here's a brief synopsis of the situation:  In a nation where sports heroes are worshiped like demi-gods, no one gets paid more than the basketball stars.  Here are the average annual salaries for professional players in the USA: NBA: $5,150,000.  MLB: $3,120,000.  NFL: $440,000.  Also making lots of cash are the owners.  Here are the average prices for a ticket to a professional game: NBA: $95.10. NFL: $77.36.  MLB: $26.91.  (Do the math...it's a lot of money!) The bottom line is that with absolute wealth comes absolute greed.  324 games have been cancelled while the two sides bicker over billions.

'Ladies of the Evening' in Manhattan are losing money.

Forgotten amongst the heated negotiations at fancy hotels are the little people who depend on NBA games for their income.  It's not just the hookers.  People like the food vendors and ticket takers at the arenas are also out of work.  The aftershocks from the strike resonate much farther than just the venues.  Luxury hotels are also hurting.  The revenue for lodging, food and beverage for fifty NBA players, coaches and prostitutes can net up to $100,000 a night.  And don't forget the press.  Denver Nuggets radio producer JESSE THOMAS said in an interview he's lost $23,500 in salary so far.  However...worst of all...is a Boston-based novelty sports products company.  Owner KEVIN KRUEGER said he's "sold only one 'Beat L.A.' T-shirt all week!"  Ouch! Every one's feeling the pinch.

NOT SO! says DENNIS COATES of the University of Maryland at Baltimore.  In 2000, he conducted a study of the effects of sports labor disputes on local economies. He studied 37 cities and discovered just the opposite to be true.  While there are many 'sob-stories' about a burger joint across the street from the arena going out of business, the overall economic impact on a city is positive.  COATES concluded that "without sports, fans tended to spend their money at restaurants and movie theatres."  This...combined with the gained civic revenue not spent on public safety...outweighed the losses at and around the ballparks.

The forgotten ball boy.

However..for the time being...we here at the DUNER BLOG are going to side with the "little guys" like "Henry." We sincerely hope they can find alternate solutions to their business woes.  (Professional Hockey players, perhaps??)  But...before we go....the most tear-jerking story about the NBA strike is from Philadelphia.  MICHAEL CHERNOW, a ball-boy for the 76ers, was particularly eloquent in his summary of the situation.  Having sat at home for the past five weeks, the teenager bemoaned: "Seeing players complain about millions of dollars is very upsetting for someone who makes only $7.15 an hour!"







                                                                                                                                                           

NOV 15 BLACK RHINO OFFICIALLY EXTINCT. HUMANS TO BLAME

The Black Rhino is actually grey.

NOV 15 BLACK RHINO OFFICIALLY EXTINCT. HUMANS TO BLAME

The year is 2211.  Our earth is much different than it was two centuries ago.  The good news is that human population has stabilized at 32 billion.  The bad news is the enormous toll it has taken on the environment.  With 95% of the earth paved over in a myriad of highways, skyscrapers and industrial sludge, there is hardly anything natural left.   So...in the future...the to only way to see the "outdoors," is to travel to eight 'biospheres.'  Inside these glass domes are methodically preserved nature reserves.  These 'gardens' are only places left where plants grow and animals live.  History books in the future bemoan the previous generations...people who had the technological wizardry to make ingenious cell phones but lacked the social skills to "get along with each other" which ultimately cost the earth all of her natural splendor.

Sound far fetched?  Well, there was a major hint on Friday last week that humankind is headed in this direction.  On Friday, RED LIST OF ENDANGERED SPECIES was updated by the IUCN (International Union for the Conservation of Nature).  Biologists worldwide cringed when they clicked on their website and read the horrible news:  The WESTERN BLACK RHINO was officially declared extinct.  Although three thousand of the massive creatures still exist in zoos and nature reserves around the world, they are no longer found in the wild.  And only humans can be blamed.  Why?  Because poachers have killed every last one.  See, in parts of Asia, the horn of the black rhino is falsely believed to cure disease.  Although scientific evidence has proved without a doubt that ground-up Rhino horn (keratin) has no medicinal value, people still pay exorbitant prices for the item.

Rhino horns have a higher street value than cocaine.

Why can't the poachers be stopped?  It's simply because the Western Black Rhino habitat happens to fall in nations like Cameroon and Gabon.  These states have very weak central governments and don't control much of the country outside of the capital cities.  In reality, much of the land is under the control of roving militant groups and migrant criminal gangs.  Says SIMON STUART of the IUCN Species Survival Commission: “They (the rhinos) had the misfortune of occurring in places where we simply weren’t able to get the necessary security in place."  This is why future generations will be so angry with the people who lived on earth in the year 2011.  We let a bunch of 'yahoo poachers' control our prized rain forests and did nothing to stop them.

What will further confuse future generations about people in 2011 is our conflicting attitudes towards the cherished creatures we allowed to go extinct.  On one hand, we have an obsession with African animals in our popular culture.  Our children play with teddy bears and have giraffe wallpaper in their rooms. Our movies are full of wild creatures...films like the 'Lion King,' 'Madagascar' and 'The Jungle Book' all have talking animals! We even sing about how "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" and the "Eye of the Tiger." And don't forget the 40,000 zoos worldwide, where humans go to see their beloved animal friends locked up in cages.  However...on the other hand...when it comes to saving them in the wild...we throw up our hands and say: "Whatever!"

Go to the WWF website for more information.

It's true: There is no easy solution to 'shore up' corrupt African governments.  There is a complex economic cycle entrenched in the region.  Simply put, it rewards individuals who can produce natural resources for the other continents.  Unfortunately, this is where Africa gets much of its income.  Investment in African infrastructure is almost non-existent.  Let's face it...the only big money coming into Africa is for mining, oil production and rhino horn extraction. It's time for people to start looking at the big picture and realize that 25% of all mammals on earth are currently at risk of extinction.  This will happen in your lifetime unless we take action!  Let's Occupy Africa!

A dozen zoos where the Western Black Rhino can be seen worldwide:

Chester Zoo
Cincinnati Zoo
Guadalajara Zoo
Hong Kong Zoo
Honolulu Zoo
Jardim Zoologico, Rio
Moscow Zoo
Safari World Bangkok
San Diego Zoo
St. Louis Zoo
Sydney Wildlife World
Zoo de Vincennes, Paris

NOV 9 DESPITE CANO KILLING, COLOMBIA'S FARC WILL GO ON!

Way to go, President Santos!

NOV 9 DESPITE CANO KILLING, COLOMBIA'S FARC WILL GO ON!

Last Friday, Colombian president JUAN MANUEL SANTOS proudly announced the capture and killing of ALFONSO CANO.  It was a major victory for his government's troops in the world's longest running civil war.  It all began 47 years ago, when Colombia's Communist Party lost big in national elections. Disenchanted with the whole system, the left-wing group declared themselves independent from Bogota.  Called FARC (Fuerzas Armadas Revolucionarias de Colombia), they've grown over the years into a 'de-facto nation' in their own right...it's the size of Switzerland!  Anyhow, it's been awhile since this 'Drug Cartel / Marxist State' has been in the news, so we here at the DUNER BLOG thought it would be fun to run down our five favorite FARC operations of all time.


#5 THE NARCO SUBMARINE. In 2007, the Colombian army ambushed a suspected FARC outpost on the Pacific coast near Ecuador.  Upon entering, they discovered a recently abandoned factory with assembly line production capabilities.  What was FARC building?  A 100-foot long submarine, of course!  Why?  Simple, they needed an undetectable way to get cocaine to the US.  This "Narco-Sub" could hold eight tons of drugs.  It also had a large, turbo-engine that can travel to Tijuana in ten days!  NOTE: It's estimated that FARC makes $320 billion in drug money annually.

#4 COUNTERFEIT OPERATIONS. While drug trafficking is FARC's top source of income, counterfeiting is a close second.  An estimated $160 billion of phony bills are printed each year in Colombia.  However, very little few of them end up in the USA.  Since FARC knows our Feds could easily spot a phony, they are instead passed in neighboring nations.  Ecuador, Guatemala and El Salvador have all abandoned their currencies and use the US Dollar as their legal tender.


#3 SOCCER TEAMS.  With all the money made from these two illegal operations, it means that FARC has billions of US dollars (both real and counterfeit) just lying around.  How does one launder massive sums of money in Colombia?  Buy a soccer team!  Many of the 18 teams in Colombia's 'Primera Liga' have ties to cartels.  One of the nation's most successful teams, America de Cali had all of its US assets (over $1 million) frozen by President Clinton in 2004 as irrefutable evidence pointed toward the Cali cartel's involvement in the franchise.

Colombian women earned $100 a day in Gaddafi's army.

#2 TIES TO GADDAFI. Although not formally recognized as an 'independent nation' by anyone but the government in Bogota, FARC nonetheless has some international alliances.  Fidel Castro was a supporter.  Hugo Chavez in neighboring Venezuela is always visiting.  However, FARC has always had a most 'special relationship' with former Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi.  So close...in fact...that the 'Desert Despot' even trusted Colombian women as personal bodyguards in his private all-female "Amazonian Guard" unit.

#1 HACIENDA NAPOLES. Ranked #7 on 1987 Forbes' Richest List, PABLO ESCOBAR was the movement's most famous leader.  Fueled by the 'crack wars' in the US, the 'Man from Medellin' was at the center of the action and made billions of dollars.  To celebrate, he built himself one of the most audacious mansions ever known to man.  The 7,000 acre 'Naples Hacienda' makes Hearst Castle look small.  In addition to an opulent mansion, Pablo added his own airstrip, bullfighting ring and zoo.  Today, it's an amusement park, with the feral hippos as the top draw!