FEB 29 FIVE FAST FOOD FAILURES

FEB 29  FIVE FAST FOOD FAILURES

Nutritionists and food critics nationwide gasped in horror this week upon hearing the latest offering from fast food giant Kentucky Fried Chicken: The Chicken and Donut Sandwich. Instead of a bun, the Colonel has substituted two glazed donuts. Eww. However...believe it or not...this isn't the most disgusting fast food failure. Here are five other flops:

McDonald's: McSpaghetti. In the 1980's the Golden Arches made a bold move. Jealous of upstart pizza delivery chain Domino's runaway success, the fast food leader released two new menu items: McPizza and McSpaghetti. As expected, few people think of McDonald's when they want Italian food. Both items failed miserably and were removed from the menu board. NOTE: You can still find the McSpaghetti in the Philippines.

Burger King: Lucky Charms Shake. McDonald's top rival, Burger King, has its share of gaffes too. Enter the Lucky Charms Shake. In partnership with General Mills Foods, a publicity blitz announced this horrific creation. To clarify: Only the marshmallows from Lucky Charms were added to the soft vanilla ice cream, not the cereal part. This was a mistake, as this creation was even too sugary for sugar-loving kids.

Taco Bell: Seafood Salad. In the eighties, Taco Bell was also expanding and trying new things. So the Mexican fast food chain released a seafood salad, in hopes of luring in the healthy eating demographic. It came nicely prepared in a tostada shell, with pieces of fish and baby shrimp. The only problem was seafood spoils quickly and the staff was not prepared. After multiple reports of food poisoning, Taco Bell ran for the border and yanked it.

Jack In the Box: Frings. Back in 1979, a marketing guy came up with a simple idea. Why make people choose between French Fries and Onion Rings? Let's put them together in the same box! An enormous advertising campaign launched "Frings" to the nation. Turned out that people either liked fried onions OR fried potatoes. A year later, Frings were unceremoniously removed from the menu.

Pizza Hut: Hot Dog Pizza Bites. Again, just because two items are popular on a menu doesn't mean they should be served together. Pizza Hut disregarded this logic and in 2015, they combined two American favorites: Pizza and Hot Dogs. See, the mini wienies are wrapped into the pizza's crust. The whole abomination was served with a side of mustard. Double Yucky!

FEB 22 THE BEST NBA HALFTIME PERFORMERS

FEB 22  THE BEST NBA HALFTIME PERFORMERS

Shakira and J-Lo's spectacular halftime performance wowed the world at the Super Bowl earlier this month. Just how good was it? The two sultry singers were watched by more people than the actual game itself! Which got the DUNER BLOG staff wondering and researching. It turns out the NBA has the best halftime performers. Here's our favorites:

RED PANDA (Krystal Liu). If you've been fortunate enough to see this acrobat perform, you know how unforgettable she is. First, she climbs atop a five-foot high unicycle. Steadily keeping her balance by rocking back-and-forth with the pedals, she places a large ceramic bowl on top of her head. Next, she catches more bowls and then tosses them into the one already on her head! Krystal does so in a delightful dress, high heels on her feet and a charming smile on her face. In all the polls and surveys we found on this subject, Ped Panda was always the top choice.

THE GREAT BALANCER (Kevin Shiflett). As a kid, Kevin was obsessed with balancing things on his chin. He started with small stuff like a broom or his grandpa's cane. He began to perform in church and school

events, but like any other great athlete, he kept pushing boundaries, moving up to chairs, bikes and even a wheelbarrow. As the objects got bigger, so did the gigs. In fact, Kevin has made a career of his odd talent. And to think: His dad probably thought it was a waste of time!

QUICK CHANGE (Doug & Dania Mass). Originally from the Moscow Circus, Dania honed the art of instant costume change. Dating back to Vaudeville, it involves wearing different outfits underneath each other. Sewn in a way that allows for instant disrobing, it is eye-candy for the audience. When Dana met Doug, an American who also performs the act, magic happened. They added some ballroom dancing and have performed not just at NBA games, but also on Oprah, AGT and GMA.

ALL AMERICAN FRISBEE DOGS (John Casey). Nothing gets an audience in a frenzy like a doggie chasing down a frisbee. It always seems like there is NO CHANCE the pooch can catch up with the flying disc. Then...at the last second...Fido sprints! Next, he jumps amazingly high and snatches the frisbee in his mouth. The crowd goes wild! Trainer John Casey knows this and has taken his dogs to the next level. What makes this group stand out amongst the others is the fact that John only uses rescue dogs in his act.

FEB 15 POODLE WINS BEST OF SHOW AT WESTMINSTER DOG SHOW

FEB 15  POODLE WINS BEST OF SHOW AT WESTMINSTER DOG SHOW

Meet Siba. She's a gorgeous Standard Poodle who just won the prestigious Westminster Dog Show. It's not an easy accomplishment! Siba had to beat out 2,500 other pooches spread out over 204 different breeds. Her victory ended a long, 29-year drought for Poodles at Westminster: The last top finish was a dog named Whisperwind back in 1991. Way to go, Siba!

Never heard of the Westminster Dog Show? Dating back to 1877, it's the second oldest sporting event in the USA. (The Kentucky Derby is two years older). It began with a group of sportsmen who met regularly at the nearby Westminster Hotel. The first event only had 'Gun Dogs:' Setters and pointers who aid in hunting. The winners were awarded pistols. In the 144 years since, the show has grown in popularity. It's always been held at Madison Square Garden, from its humble start as an outdoor grandstand with bleachers to the state-of-art arena it is today.

Back to Siba. As we said, it wasn't easy for her to grab that prize ribbon. Here's the path: First, she competed against similar breeds in her categoy. For Siba, this is 'Non-Sporting Group,' which includes Boston Terriers, Bulldogs, Chow-Chows and Dalmatians...to name a few. They are judged in three competitions. Siba did best on the examination. Who couldn't lover her silky sable locks? Next, she dazzled the judges with an elegant trot. Finally, Siba flew through the agility competition--a doggie obstacle course filled with jumps, hoops, tunnels and a seesaw.

Having won the 'Non-Sporting' crown, Siba advanced to the elite seven dogs competing for the coveted Best of Show prize. This is when the competition got really tough. She had to outshine Wilma the Boxer in the examination. She had to run faster than Conrad the Shetland Sheepdog in the agility race. Things became dicey when Siba faced up with Daniel the Golden Retriever for the trot. This delightful 5 year-old dog was clearly the fan favorite. His shiny blond tresses and puppy-dog eyes lit up the jumbotron at MSG. The crowd roared!

However, crowds don't determine 'Best of Show' winners....judges do. The scores were counted, Siba grabbed a close victory and won the blue ribbon! To celebrate, Siba ate a McChicken sandwich for McDonalds, convienently located inside the building. As for Daniel the Golden Retriever, his owner says he's "happy to be home and hanging out." After all, Daniel is a dog and has no idea he was the best hope for a first-ever win for a Golden Retriever...despite being the most popular breed in the US.

FEB 7 TINY EUROPEAN NATIONS THAT ARE UNRECOGNIZED BY THE U.N.

FEB 7  TINY EUROPEAN NATIONS THAT ARE UNRECOGNIZED BY THE U.N.

For 75 years, Eastern Europe was simple. It consisted of eight, easy-to-remember countries. The Fall of the Iron Curtain in 1991 resulted in dozens of new nationalities bursting with pride. For example, after centuries of being controlled by the Ottoman Empire and then Yugoslavia, Croatians, Bosnians, Slovenes and Serbs now all have their own nations. However, for even smaller groups, the trickle-down to independence didn't arrive. Here are four miniscule countries that claim independence, but aren't recognized by the UN.

TRANS-DNIESTER. Officially part of tiny Moldova, this sleepy state sits on the banks of the Dneister River. Basically, these people refuse to acknowledge the USSR is gone. The Lenin statue is still in the town square. 1,500 goose-stepping soldiers march their Tiraspol's main square on Independence Day (Oct. 25). They have a sickle-and-hammer on their flag. Neighboring nations accept their passports, but no one else does.

ABKHAZIA. This Caspian Sea micro-state also claims independence, but few listened. Since antiquity, Abkhazia has appeared on maps. They have their own language and a culture that has withstood countless annexations. When placed in the borders of Georgia in 1991, the Abkhaz people refused to join. Instead, they forced out the 50,000 Georgians living there and hoisted their new flag. In 2008, Russia recognized their independence, but only Nicaragua has since.

SOUTH OSSETIA. Another group caught between Russia and Georgia is Ossetia. Hidden high in the Caucus Mountains, their unique civilization and language is Persian in origin. Today, the Northern portion lies in Russian territory, where it was granted autonomous status. Southern sections fell under Georgian control.  In 2008, they declared independence, and fought a brief war. However, no one cared.

ARTSAKH. The scenic and jagged Caucus Mountains are home to 150 million people with a dozen different languages. Once part of the mighty Armenian Empire, the Artsakh province was cut-off from Yerevan centuries ago and surrounded by Azerbaijani people. In 1920, the USSR proclaimed the region the Nagorno-Karabkh Autonomous Oblast. In 1991, they were placed in the borders of the new nation of Azerbaijan. They've never accepted this and instead salute their silly flag.

NOTE: All four nations are members of the UNPO: The Unrepresented Nations and Peoples Organization.

JAN 31 ALASKAN WOMAN IS FIRST PERSON COUNTED IN 2020 CENSUS

JAN 31  ALASKAN WOMAN IS FIRST PERSON COUNTED IN 2020 CENSUS

The 2020's are a month old. In the US, a new decade means our census is now underway. While ancient civilizations from Babylon to the Inca conducted counts, the USA was the first modern nation to formally do an official census. Thomas Jefferson insisted it be in our Constitution in 1787. Three years later, in 1790, the first US census occurred. There were 3,929,214 Americans.

In the twenty-two censuses since then, the bureau has tinkered with new methods and procedures. One such change is to start counting people in the most remote...the most difficult places to get to...FIRST. Welcome to Toksook Bay, Alaska. It a tiny village on the frigid Bering Sea. It's only accessible by bush plane, dog sled or snowmobile. The residents are all Yupik people who have lived there for centuries.

Naturally, when the people in Toksook Bay discovered they would be the FIRST PLACE to be officially visited by the Census Bureau, they were ecstatic. Then the question arose: Who get to be the FIRST PERSON to be counted? Well, in Native American cultures, elders and ancestors are most prominent. And the oldest, wisest person in Toksook Bay is Lizzie Chimiugak, age 90. To be clear: Federal Privacy laws prohibit identifying any one individual in the census. Director Steven Dillingham only performed a 'ceremonial' first interview with Lizzie.

But what an interview it turned out to be! When born in 1930, the Alaskan Territory had only 59,000 people...almost all in Anchorage and Fairbanks. The nomadic Yupik were unaware of this when Lizzie was born in a mud hut...one of ten children. Her childhood involved cleaning fish, tanning hides and gutting seals. When permanent homes were built by the government in the 1950's, she married and moved in. She has five kids of her own.

After the ceremony, held in the Nelson Island Schoolhouse, the surprisingly spry Lizzie got up and danced with her community. But then, inquisitive journalists got involved and ruined the party and the feel-good vibe of this blog. Speaking through a Yupik translator, Lizzie confessed: She is worried about the future of Alaska. For 90 years, she's seen ice melt and miles of land exposed. For 90 years, she's watched the once abundant wildlife vanish. Sigh..