SEPT 27 CRAZY AHMADINEJAD GIVES LAST U.N. ADDRESS

SEPT 27 CRAZY AHMADINEJAD GIVES LAST U.N. ADDRESS

Every one's favorite insane World Leader MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD stepped up to the podium in New York City for the last time today.  Thankfully, the Islamic Republic of Iran does have term limits for their president.   This means the "Glorious Leader" is at the end of his two-term, eight-year cycle.  The US, UK and Israel were absent and the poorly attended diatribe was brief...a mere twenty minutes.  And, since today is Yom Kippur Ahmadinejad only used the word Zionist a dozen times. 

In a tribute to the 'Terror from Tehran' here are his TOP FIVE ABSURD QUOTES of all time:

#5. "Israel is a cesspool." March 2008.  Having never visited the nation, we turned to Noah Webster for help.  It's hard to believe the entire country is an "underground reservoir for liquid waste," but maybe it was a metaphor (?).  Mahmoud went on to say Israel is "nearing collapse."   Which, taken literally, means all eight million square miles of Israeli territory will soon vanish and become the world's largest exposed toilet.

#4. "The era of Capitalist thinking is over." Sept. 2008.   Four years ago, Ahmadinejad used the U.S. Housing crisis as a opportunity to remind the West of their flawed economic system.  In a rambling, 3,500-word address to the U.N. he offered a better plan.  In Tehran, they are simply waiting for the Shi'ite messiah to arrive.  When he does appear, with one wave of his holy hand, all global financial woes will instantly disappear.

#3.  "In Iran there are no homosexuals." Sept. 2007.  Today's U.N. address began with Mahmoud praising his nation's morality and compassion.  Such lofty goals are much easier to achieve in Iran than in other nations.  Why?  Because everyone who lives in the Islamic Republic is heterosexual, Shi'ite and eternally devoted to the state.

#2. "The Holocaust is a myth to support the Jews." June 2009.  Of all Ahmadinejad's incredulous statements, this one is the most inflammatory.  In response, human rights groups in Germany has extended numerous invitations to the Iranian President, requesting he come to visit Auschwitz and other concentration camps.  He has declined.  When asked to elaborate, he said he is "not anti-Semitic."

#1. "The fatwa issued by Supreme Guide forbids the wearing of ties." July 2010.  Have you ever wondered why Mahmoud always has his shirt unbuttoned?  It's not just to show off his large tuft of chest hair.  Nope, the Ayatollah doesn't like neckties.  And that means that no one else on earth should ever wear one.

From all of us bloggers, pundits and late-night talk show hosts: Thanks for the memories, Ahmadinejad! 

SEPT 20 CATALONIA DESERVES INDEPENDENCE FROM SPAIN

SEPT 20 CATALONIA WANTS INDEPENDENCE FROM SPAIN

It may not be an important date on your calendar, but September 11th is a very important date in Barcelona.  See, it was on this day...way back in the year 1714...when independent Catalonia was officially annexed by the Spanish crown.  Nowadays, the Diada Nacional de Catalunya has become a lightning rod for tensions between Barcelona and Madrid, with rallies being held in both cities.  However, last week's protests in Catalonia were the largest ever.  Police estimated half a million people took to the streets in mostly peaceful marches.

Just what is the anger all about?  As mentioned in an earlier blog,  four nations are causing major problems in the European Union.  The so-called P.I.G.S. (Portugal, Italy, Greece & Spain) simply cannot meet the economic requirements for participation in the single currency Euro-Zone.  Despite threats, sanctions and bailouts, the situation remains tense and the entire economic region is in peril.  Recently, the Spanish Government announced it was raising taxes nationwide to help solve the crisis. The people of Catalonia are refusing to pay.

Why won't they help out?  Well, it seems Spain faces the same problem that cripples many other nations: Industrious, wealthier areas end up subsidizing the slower, less-productive regions.  In the US, Californians receive only sixty cents back in services for every dollar of Federal taxes they pay.  However, lazy Mississippians receive $2.16 in spending from Uncle Sam for each dollar they pay.  The same cycle affects Spain.  Catalonia pays Madrid $15 billion annually, but it only gets two-thirds of it back in Federal spending.  Simply put, Catalonia wants to manage their own financial affairs and stop funding slacker farmers in far-off Galicia.

The leader of the independence movement in Barcelona is ARTUR MAS.  His coalition of political parties now holds a majority in the regional parliament.  Under the terms set down by the U.N. in the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, a legislative body...like the one in Barcelona...does have the right to declare independence from a larger state.  The precedent was set in Kosovo four years ago when it left Serbia and became Europe's youngest nation.  It looks like Catalonia will soon be the next.

"¡No! Not so fast!" says Spanish Prime Minister MARIANO RAJOY.  In a recent statement, he cited Article II of the Spanish Constitution.  The 'indissoluble union under the crown' can only be divided by a two-thirds vote by all states in Madrid...which is virtually impossible to achieve.  Also the Supreme Court recently overturned legal challenges to Catalan being the second national language.  Stay tuned...P.M. Rajoy and Artur Mas are meeting today to discuss matters.  First Question: If secession occurs, will F.C. Barcelona still be allowed to stay in the Spanish Soccer League?