APRIL 26 AUTHOR E.L. JAMES MAKES HISTORY ON BESTSELLERS LIST

APRIL 26 AUTHOR E.L. JAMES MAKES HISTORY ON BESTSELLERS LIST

On August 24 1941, the New York Times first published a weekly listing of the bestselling books in the nation.  It has appeared every Sunday since...which comes to a grand total of 3,692 times.  However, something happened this week that has never happened before.  The top three spots are all held by the same author: E.L. JAMES.  She's beat out some impressive novelists as well.  #4 on this week's bestsellers list is NICOLAS SPARKS of The Notebook fame.  MARY HIGGINS CLARK is at #5....she has been on the list 42 times before.  #6 is master of suspense JAMES PATTERSON whose books have sold 250 million copies worldwide. 

So how does a nobody like E.L. JAMES come out of nowhere and knock three heavyweights off the top?  Erotic novels, of course!  Often called "Mommy Porn," the FIFTY SHADES trilogy has middle aged women going bananas.  They're shelling out $29.95 for hardcover hardcore.  (Paperback retails for $15.95...but the cover gets gooey!)  Here's a quick synopsis: Our protagonist is Anastasia Steele.  She's a shy and demure college student...until she meets Christian Grey, an older, sophisticated and horribly wealthy tycoon.  They proceed down a bizarre road of dominatrix sex where the "awkward naif" consents to all sorts of violent acts, including being whipped with a leather riding crop.  Ouch!

Erika Leonard: Instant millionaire.

The sudden demand for women's erotica caught the publishing world off guard.  Market research indicated that "modern women don't purchase soft porn." The tiny, Australian independent press that originally published the novels ran out of copies last year.  This spiked a bidding war between corporations for the American rights to James' books.  “The word-of-mouth thoroughly outpaced the availability,” said PATRICIA BOSTELMAN, a Barnes & Noble executive.  The winner of the war was normally staunch publisher Knopf-Doubleday with an offer "in the seven figures."   It doesn't stop there.  The trilogy is currently being translated into dozens of other languages, and is currently being marketed heavily in Europe.  Offers are pouring in from Hollywood studios for the movie rights.  Universal has the edge.

All of which has women's rights organizations a bit confused.   After decades fighting for equal rights, it seems odd that the same women...who fought for things like the ERA...are now purchasing explicit books glorifying sexual violence against women. “What I found fascinating is that there are all these super-motivated, smart, educated women saying: This is the greatest thing I’ve ever read,” said activist MEG LEONARD. “I don’t get it. There’s a lot of violence, and this guy is abhorrent sometimes.”  Statistics back up her point.  The top three states for sales are New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania...places with lots of college graduates.  I guess there's just no telling what people are going to buy!

In summary, the Fifty Shades trilogy has managed to get lots of buzz and tons of sales.  E. L. James' sadomasochistic tales of love and lust have ignited fires of passion in many women's hearts worldwide.  But...let's be honest...this isn't exactly a new fad.  When I was a kid, Harlequin Romance paperback novels were a mainstay in every supermarket check out aisle...right next to the gum, mints and tabloids.  (Remember...with a bare chest drawing of Fabio on the cover?!)  The only difference today, is Moms don't have to be embarrassed about purchasing a trashy book and having everyone else in the market know you like erotic novels...nearly half of the sales of the FIFTY SHADES trilogy are on e-books!

APRIL 19 US SECRET SERVICE AGENTS CAUGHT WITH HOOKERS

APRIL 19 SECRET SERVICE AGENTS CAUGHT WITH HOOKERS

Hopefully, when you first heard of this story, you thought of us here at the DUNER BLOG.  It's true...we live for this kind of scandal!   The shenanigans carried on by the world's finest bodyguards prior to the Summit of the Americas in Cartagena are quite lurid.  We have received tons of letters, texts, tweets all about the sex, the tangled web of lies and wild nights.  Let's get started!

Exactly how many Colombian ladies were involved? -Ron in Anchorage
I'm not sure we can call them ladies, Ron!  Anyhow, initial reports on Sunday stated eleven women had checked into the luxury cabañas.  However...as of Tuesday...the number had risen to "at least twenty foreign nationals." It seems Secret Service agents invited friends from other agencies as well.  This included two Navy Explosive Ordinance Disposal technicians, two Marine dog handlers and an Air Force airman.  We'll see who else comes forward.  So...for the time being...we'll call it two dozen hookers, Ron.

Isn't Prostitution legal in Colombia?  -Ted in Oakland
Yes it is.  Colombia has a plethora of problems...particularly when it comes to crime.  Outrageous drug smuggling, crafty counterfeiters, provocative prostitutes...you name it!  To solve this, the government has simply drawn lines in the sand.  Just as the drug cartels have their established territory, the prostitutes have "tolerance zones" where they can legally operate.  So while the agents didn't break any laws with the ladies, the New York Post reminds us that "most of them are married" which is worse than legal trouble. 

How did they get caught?  Pablo in Phnom Penh
In every party, there's always one jerk who ruins everything. It's simple: There are two rules at the exclusive Hotel Caribe regarding visitors. A. Guests must leave identification at the front desk. B. There are no overnight guests allowed. When the morning staff arrived at seven in the morning, it seemed one woman's Colombian Federal Identification Card was still unclaimed at the front desk.  When staff went to the room, they interrupted a violent conflict between a man and woman over money.  It was so bad, local police were called.  Soon everyone else was exposed.

Was President Obama's safety ever compromised? Marc in Paris
Secret Service spokesman EDWIN DONOVAN assures us that "none of the agents involved were directly assigned to protect the president."  While this is good news, more questions do arise: Do we really need to send dozens of agents to a destination a week before the president arrives?  Do agents party like rock stars before other important international summits?  Stay tuned: People like Presidential hopeful MITT ROMNEY want to know the answers.
 

The hookers cost 83,475 Colombian Pesos each.  Isn't that a lot of money? Uday in Patna
Actually, Uday, this is the most mind boggling part of the whole episode.  One Colombian Peso equals five ten-thousandths of a US cent.  So the whole espisode boils down to someone not wanting to pay a hooker $47.  We don't know what a Secret Services agent's annual salary is, but something tells us this one agent messed up beyond belief.  But let's not blame him...there's something about Cartegena that makes people go crazy.  Check out the photo of Secretary of State HILARY CLINTON.  Someone's getting tipsy!

APRIL 12 ISRAEL TO BAN UNDERWEIGHT FASHION MODELS

Bar Rafaeli is Isreal's top supermodel.

APRIL 12 ISRAEL TO BAN UNDERWEIGHT FASHION MODELS

Normally, the Israeli Parliament (Trivia: it's called The Knesset) isn't known for much.  Their main duty is to issue anti-Palestine statements, calling the disputed area a "haven for terrorists." Their other main duty is to vote for a Prime Minister who can issue similar anti-Arab statements when the Knesset is out of session.  However, the rubber-stampers recently passed legislation that has attracted worldwide attention...and has many a blogger (like us) re-thinking our negative opinion of the polarizing legislative body.  The law?  As of April First 2012, it is illegal in Israel for magazines, billboards and TV ads to show any images of underweight fashion models.

The provocative new law is aimed at fighting anorexia in Israel.  Just to clarify...Israelis are not any more anorexic than any other nation...there's no outbreak of skeleton-thin-waifs invading Tel Aviv! Nope, it seems all industrial countries have about the same rate of anorexia: Around 2% of all girls aged 14 -18 are severely undernourished by choice.  RACHEL ADATO, the legislator who introduced the ordinance, is proud that Israel is the first nation to pass such a radical law.  She feels the new law shows to the rest of the world that the fashion industry is "out of control" and "needs to be regulated." 

Adi Neumman can't meet the new rules.

The real problem here is how to go about enforcing such a vague concept.  What is considered underweight?  How does one go about determining who is 'skinny' and who isn't?  Two years ago, fashion shows in Madrid and Milan were the first to attempt to do so.  They used the BMI (Body Mass Index) as a standard.  They issued a decree stating that all catwalk participants with a BMI lower than 18 will be banned.  This means a woman who is 5'8" (150 cm) should weigh no less than 120 pounds (54 kg).  The Israeli law goes even further.  Before any photos of a model can be displayed, she must submit a detailed medical report to Israeli authorities, documenting their nutritional health by WHO standards.   

So...what do you do if you're a current Israeli fashion model who is six feet tall and who weighs 90 pounds?  Are you out of a job?  Meet ADI NEUMMAN, a top swimsuit model who doesn't meet the new requirements.  She says she's perfectly healthy and naturally tall and thin.  "Force actual tests" Neumman said.  "Make girls go to a doctor. Get a system to follow girls who are found to be puking."   While Adi does have a valid point, we must remember that we are talking about a small percentage of the population.   Only 5% of all women...of any height... have BMI that naturally falls under 18.5.

Poor Luisa Ramos.

Currently, there are about three hundred professional Israeli models, and most of them are quite wealthy.  It's true: there will be few victims from the law, but...hopefully...there will be lots of girls worldwide who will benefit from having a more realistic view of what women should look like.  However, this blog is still too late for Uruguayan model LUISEL RAMOS.  She fell off a catwalk runway a couple years ago and died from complications from severe bulimia.  "On the one hand, maybe we'll hurt a few models," Adato said. "On the other hand, we'll save a lot of children."
  

APRIL 5 CANADA DITCHES THE PENNY--WHY NOT THE USA?

APRIL 5 CANADA DITCHES THE PENNY--WHY NOT THE USA?

Normally, when Canadian finance minister JIM FLAHERTY releases his annual budget, it doesn't get a ton of publicity.  However, last Friday's submission has everyone across the world's second largest nation in a furious debate.  Why?  Because of a controversial 'austerity measure.'  It calls for the Royal Canadian Mint to cease minting any more pennies.  Why is Canada abandoning something as essential to life as the copper penny?  Simply because is costs more than one cent to mint a penny.   "The penny is a currency without any currency in Canada, and it costs us 1.6 cents to produce a penny." FLAHERTY told reporters on Monday.
 
But...wait...if Canada gets rid of the penny...does that mean the US will too?  No way!  The penny is an integral part of our society...just imagine the nightmares that would occur if it goes away.  Phrases like "A penny for your thoughts?" would become obsolete.  Girls named Penny will loose their identity. All the Penny Arcades will go out of business. Let's face it: If we get rid of the penny, our financial and social worlds will collapse.  Then again...maybe not.  A government spokesman pointed out that Canada is not the first nation to ban the coin.  Australia, New Zealand, Norway, Sweden...they've all "made smooth transitions to a penny-free economy."  So...maybe it can be done?

We'll try to answer some of the many questions swirling though our readers' heads right now.  The first answer is: Yes...all transactions will be rounded up to the nearest nickel.  To which, the pro-penny group Americans for Common Cents issued the following statement: "Eliminating the penny is a losing proposition because it will result in rounding to the nearest nickel and higher prices for America's working families." Really?  I can't imagine the 'round-up' total being more than 15-20 cents a week.  Who is the largest supporter of this group? The Zinc Miners.  (Don't forget...pennies are not made of copper anymore!).  Also, the phase out would be done gradually over a number of years to ease the pain.  It sounds really scary, but it isn't.

Americans need to lose their sentimental attachment to the penny and face the facts.  First of all, it's happened before.  In 1857, the popular Half-Cent was officially taken out of circulation by the US Mint.   People complained then...but aren't you glad today there are no more fractions of cents?  Secondly, most pennies don't stay in circulation long.  A 1996 study found that 72% of US pennies "simply disappear" in the trash or sewer.  Thirdly, usage of all coins is at an all-time low...credit and debit cards are now used in two-thirds of all transactions.  Finally, it's time to face the sad reality: Prices have gone up.  A quarter in 2012 has less buying power than a penny did in 1940.
   

Think we're crazy here at the DUNER BLOG?  Well, PRESIDENT OBAMA agrees with us.  "We have been trying to eliminate the penny for quite some time — it always comes back" he said.  Two bills in 2002 and 2006 aimed at eliminating the coin failed in Congress.  However...with Canada's forceful decision...maybe US lawmakers can be swayed.  After all, Monday (April Second) marked the 220th anniversary of the passing of the COINAGE ACT in the US Congress.  This landmark legislation established the most productive mint of all time.   The building in our (then) capital Philadelphia has long been torn down.  Why?  Because sometimes an old, tired-but-true building is just too small for an exanding operation.  It was hard to move into the new mint, but...sometimes change is good!